Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

There's no need to be so outright rude?! After what she said and how sexist she's being?!

I'm amazed there are people like this in the world! (Yes, technically ballerinas are girls but your DS should be held up as an example of how girls AND boys can be dancers. Bravo to him, I say!)

Sorry I missed where you had already replied. I would just respond with laughing emojis. What a joke of a woman..

I’d respond to tell her and this is why the world is so full of bloody gender stereotypes. Well done on perpetuating them you short sighted moron.

What a dick!

Shes nasty OP, stay out her way and just blank her. My daughter went as a pirate to a princess/pirate party and not a word was said. How massively stereo typing. Obviously hated your son getting attention at her childs party. Shes a bitch

It's impossible to reason with stupid people so I would just ignore the message.

This. I’d avoid her from now on tbh. I’d hate my child to be in her company for any time too in case her views were aired in front of him.

Oh PLEASE just one more reply OP!
My oh my! There's no need to be so outright rude.

^You what now? The person who has just out of the blue texted me to declare "you aren't fucking sane" is calling ME rude?!"

To the PP guessing we're in the South, you're right!

Male ballet dancers are called Ballerinos not just ballet dancers. (For the sake of pedantry)

She's a crazy mum, OP. Not much you can do with that tbh - you can't argue with crazy

You’re nervous because you realise that these narrow minded attitudes are probably quite widespread where you have moved to and wonder how that will affect your and your son’s life going forward, I suppose.... maybe?

'Thank you for your response and for teaching me how rudeness works in American culture. I'm still quite new here, so do sometimes get these things wrong'.

Thank her for her observation of originality

OMG 😮

Ballerinas are girls, not boys and pirates are generally considered to be boys. Can you not read the theme correctly?

Oh get back in your repressive little box @Ated. You can read up on history while you're there, so you can start getting your facts sorted from your bigotries.

It is a strange place at times. Lots of 'tiger mumma' types and 'You got this!' Tyoes.

Lots of mums are also fiercely competitive but funnily enough, their husbands are usually nowhere to be seen or if in attendance, having a snooze!

I’d 100% reply to that last message with a Billy Elliot GIF

Wow. There's telling it how it is and then there's that. She should be embarrassed!

Well she has shot her self in the foot there as she looks like an idiot and you sound brilliant!

Isn’t it sad though that this is what she has taken away from her daughter’s party? I bet the birthday girl neither noticed or cared. Some other parent probably made a comment and this woman flipped out about it. Sad.

She’s probably googling to see what arabesque means. Thicko! 😂

It can be shit living next to people with very different values. Hopefully she is in the minority and you have enough of a tribe for this not to matter.

REPLY OP!!

Send her a link to Les Grands Ballets Trocadero de Monte Carlo. It will blow her tiny mind.

Your reply was v Brit sarcasm!

Awh c'mon OP. The birthday girls mum went out and bought the best ballet costume for her DD so she could be the belle of the ball....How dare you allow your DS upstage her? 🙄

My DGS has just enrolled in ballet and tap class. He is 3. I can't wait to see our very own Billy Elliott on stage in a few years time 😊

Just reply and ask her if she has enough wine to get over it