Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

Text:
"https://www.na.org/

Bless you. Let me know if I can help at all hun.x."

I know you have to take the high ground as you're new, but tempting!

Terribly sexist and rude and nasty of her. But if it is the deep south in America, well that's how they truly think. I would never live there or raise my DC there. Maybe NYC or California, but never the deep south.

And did your son steel the show. Just wondering if there is any reason for her texts. I'm not justifying them in any way - she is obviously nuts. Can't think of any other reason for her craziness.

Hooo! That was a good second response - put the issue totally on her (which it is) and you stood your ground.

Sometimes you just have to go postal, though, so keep any big guns back for now.

This mean girl is hench and she's not even the head mean girl😲
That would be above my paygrade, I'd stay well away 🙈😁😅

'You're supposed to help create your child's costume with the glue, not huff it'

Go for the knee OP.

You can take that MUDDAFUCKA DOWN!!!

What a nightmare! I can see there's little point in getting into an argument with her but surely 'I thought the ballet costumes were for ballet dancers, which my son is. Couldn't really justify buying a pirate outfit for one party when he's got a perfectly good ballet outfit he wears to do ballet every week'.

This mean girl's got back up though MaisWeee😳
May I ask if you have much in the way of backup OP?

To the PP guessing we're in the South, you're right!

Yeah I guessed that too from your first post OP.

My Dsis(english born and bred) lived in the South for 6years.
It nearly drove her crazy.... those people could make a competition out of any shit on day of the week.

@UYScuti her backup is she's not off her fucking rocker

Lol if she replies again just send back:

“😂😂😂 Bless your heart. Maybe time to put down the ”

‘Bless your heart’ being the ultimate Southern put-down. Use it well.

MYne share the text with other mums and ask what they think? Peer pressure etc.

I lived in the states for a lot of years, none of my friends would be that rude and none would've batted abc eyelid at z boy in ballet clothes. She's a total bellend.

She's going to feel so embarrassed when she realises how dumb this is. I'm going with other people that think she's thinks you did this to out stage her dd for attention.

Invite her over for coffee. Dress as a pirate. Make sure you have a few male friends/relatives on standby who can drop in, wearing ballet clothes.

She sounds very unpleasant and quite frankly mental! Just ignore her OP

I'm American, OP, from California and when you mentioned the States I immediately thought, "Jesus, what Southern shitbox town has this poor woman landed in?"

My parents decided to move to Georgia for a couple of years after my dad's retirement. Fuck me, they leadfooted it back to California so fast. All the bullshit plus alligators and hurricanes? No thank you.

Do you want to spend any more time with this person, OP? Although this thread is really entertaining (for me), you probably don’t want to get into an actual quarrel with this woman.

If she replies, say something like “As I’ve said before, I don’t think {son} was in a controversial outfit. Please stop messaging me about this.” Then don’t read any more of her messages - having them go unread is much better than any response.

I wonder if she enters her poor dd into those beauty pageants - I have visions now of this lady wearing silky flowery dress & her (poor unfortunate) dd being dressed in ultra puffy pink tutu over the top &your ds being simply & elegantly dressed & one of the other mums asking him if he can dance & him performing - Oh yes - I see it now (says she squinting her eyes prophetically into the distance)

Send her this...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3799151-birthday-girl-s-mum-sending-me-rude-messages-aibu?pg=13&order=

@MaisWeee thanks for the belly laugh

Why would even care what such a rude person thinks. Just block and blank

Owt else from Miss Harper Valley PTA?

Your key phrase is 'cultural differences'. Anything my Malaysian MIL disapproves of or anytime I decline to follow her command advice I tell her it must be a cultural difference. As in "Oh, it must be a cultural difference, in Europe men are allowed to dance".

I wonder how corps de ballet in the US manage without male dancers, do they import them from other countries?