Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

Americans are so weird when it comes to their kids parties I swear 😂

I know you’re 100% right in not replying anymore, but the devil in me really wants you to. “Ah, I wonder if the British/American thing caused a culture clash here. I will try to do better in the future. I’m sure you meant well, letting me know. Bless your heart.”

“Bless your heart” is such a great phrase. The implied “You twat” at the end is delicious.

Those feathery pantaloons are strangely . . . alluring, Squirrels . . .

Mess with her head - tell her you’ll pray for her.

This is the best response, she'll start seething

"We once did a princess and pirates joint party for them. Yes, most of the girls turned up as princesses, the boys turned up as pirates. Two girls turned up as pirates."

My eldest two are much the same with birthdays close together. We did a "tarts and super heroes party" (tarts sound politically incorrect these days I know but this was 20 years ago). I think they were 16 & 18. It was such fun and maybe a third of the boys turned up as super heroine women. My DS went as Florence Nightingale in a borrowed nurse's uniform (dresses in those days) complete with black stockings. Many of the girls were envious of his great legs. No doubt the pious person involved in this would have thought they were a bunch of perverts. All turned out normal, straight, gay, however they were going to be.

Thank you for owning up, SchadenfreudePersonified, but you let one of them slip onto the Feminist threads and he’s trying to educate the people with ovaries.

I hate the phrase
'U Ok hun?'
But I'd use it in this situation just to piss her off even more

It’s a shame for her, isn’t it?

I've responded, couldn't resist

I said "Well, I certainly don't think I'm rude. I hope you can put this behind you and be slightly clearer in your party invites if you wish for children to conform so much. I'll be off now. Have a lovely evening"

I haven't had a response from her so I don't think she'll reply now (that was twenty minutes ago)

It's not an American thing. I am an American and my son did ballet for quite a few years. It's just this one silly woman. Just ignore. Participating in the hate just perpetuates it. Perhaps one day she will become wiser....but that's not going to happen if you point to angrily what an idiot she is. Definitely don't reply any more and give it no more thought.

at her calling you rude after what she said. That is hilarious

Have you sent a copy for her texts to any other nursery mums in the group?

No, and I'm not going to. I just feel it would cause extreme chaos and drama. I'm very new and don't want to cause a rift. There are very popular mums and she's one of them, sadly.

They tried to get me in with their very 'in' circle but I have declined ever so gently by refusing invites to things. They're just too brash and bold for me

I'm not home from a 10 hour shift and this has cheered me up no end, thank you!

Oh my god unreal. Well done on your responses Reason. I'd love to know what attention he got to exasperate her. Good man

Wow, she probably won’t even be ashamed when she reads her texts in the morning when she’s no longer pissed.
Fuck sake saying boys had to be pirates!

😂 she’s a numpty I would of replied “you’re a massive twat 👍”

I think I’d stand up to her, she’s a bully. She swore and trashed you. Not okay. I’d say don’t ever send me a text swearing at me ever again.

Sounds like she's the head 'mean girl'

Some of these replies are brilliant. She must be under enormous pressure about something else , no way can she be this annoyed over your kids costume.
You’ve done the right thing, she needs to catch herself on, what a fool.

OP just link her to this thread. Actually, just send the link in the WhatsApp mums group.

images.app.goo.gl/t8qpShSaRQpYGPuW8

Could you take her in a fight OP?

Sounds like she's the head 'mean girl'

Not quite, there are a couple who're worse

Could you take her in a fight OP? Not unless I gained 80lbs or so!

They tried to get me in with their very 'in' circle but I have declined ever so gently by refusing invites to things. They're just too brash and bold for me

Do they wear pink on Tuesdays?

Best of luck with them op

I'd wonder if she'd been secretly knocking back vodka at the party! And I find myself wondering about the ballerina/pirate combination, too.

How empty must someone's life be, if a little boy being a ballet dancer and not a pirate is this big a deal? It's just really weird.