Birthday girl's mum sending me rude messages! AIBU?

[ReasonNorTreason]

DS was invited to a party with a theme of 'ballerinas or pirates'.

I sent DS as a ballet dancer (as he does dancing), in his usual leotard, shorts, tights and ballet slippers. It's a very friendly community and no 'sissy' comments or opinions as far as I know. DS got nothing but compliments from other parents, children were just excited to see him and no child commented on his outfit.

Anyway, just received a message 10 minutes ago saying the following

"So! You really had to put Joseph in something else didn't you! Why couldn't you stick to the theme? I think it's just unfair, if I'm honest. Not impressed. You aren't fucking sane".

AIBU to 1. Have dressed DS the way I did, and 2., think she must be drinking right now?

I'll be honest and say I'm annoyed at her text but really quite nervous to see her again at the nursery. What baffles me the most is we arrived with a friend who's DD wore a princess outfit and friend explained the situation that she just put on what she could grab - The woman who's text me just laughed and said not to worry at all! I assume she didn't say anything to me right then as DS still had his coat on when he arrived

I can see the headlines in the US now.

BRIT MOM HEADBUTTS US MOM IN SCRAP ABOUT PIRATES AND BALLERINAS

The British Mom declared 'she started it innit'
US Mom declared 'she obviously doesn't know how to behave in Western society'.

The two mothers came to blows over a party for the American Mom's daughter. Apparently, the boys were to be dressed as pirates and the girls as ballerinas, but Brit Mom says that it wasn't specified which costume they should wear.

A lot of hair was lost. US Mom says that her hairdresser has refused to correct the damage done. Brit Mom has said that she couldn't give 'a fuck' and that she wishes she had scalped her. After some research, we believe scalping is an old English tradition.

The pair have declared that this 'ain't over'. 'Innit' finished the Brit Mom.

My DD and DS have birthdays two weeks apart, there are 54 weeks between them. We once did a princess and pirates joint party for them. Yes, most of the girls turned up as princesses, the boys turned up as pirates. Two girls turned up as pirates. I would not have cared if boys had turned up as princesses, or evening anyone had turned up not in costume! It doesn't matter!

She is clearly not quite normal!
You've done nothing wrong!

Ballet dancer- highly tuned athlete
Pirate- opportunist, thief, terrorist... hmm 🤔

How is ballet dancer only for girls?

So funny she thinks you did sarcastic / passive aggressive fancy dress. What a world we live in.

I’m imaging the OP’s “friend” to be a bit like Hilly Holbrook in ‘The Help’ - competitive moms at their worst! I agree she feels threatened in some way.

‘Them’s fightin words me hearties’ is what I would text back.

😂😂😂😂

cbeebiessavedmy life the theme wasn't ballet dancer it was ballerinas.

OP why not just say you thought it was ballet dancers?

I'd reply.. I'm sure your child isn't bothered what my child turned up in, but I'm sure in years to come she will be bothered by your embarrassment and personality and give her a for good measure

Tell her she has ten minutes to apologise or your be tasing her homophobic comment with the nursery

Ugh. Sexist shite. I'd send DD as a pirate without a second thought! What a horrible individual.

Reply with a thumbs up emoji to her last text , that’ll really poss her off! Good on you for sending your DS in what he wanted to go in, I can’t be arsed with people who think ballet is for girls only . Send her a Billy Elliot gif lol!

Pirate is a unisex term, ballerina isn't. OP assumed she meant ballet dancer, she didn't. What a fuss about nothing.

Please send her a Billy Elliot gif.

Just reply with the hand waving goodbye. Ooh or a gif.

I particularly loathe party city with its pink aisle for girls, blue for boys, and dont get me started on the "oh frozen is for girls”

It’s never occurred to me before but how do they cope with Elsa wearing blue? Does it break them?

Just send her a two-word reply.

"Le Corsaire"

hadtoask’s reply is perfect. 🏴‍☠️ 🤣

She's clearly an arsehole.

Trying to put myself in her shoes, I wonder if she thinks you were having a dig at her theme and has taken it way too personally. People can let their insecurities overtake common sense.

You did nothing wrong.

Send her the Swan Lake corps de ballet...

I mean, don’t, obviously- she’s mad and fuelling the fire is not worth it.

Tempting, though!

Send her this:
www.carlosacosta.com
Because that’s not anything to aspire to.........

Can’t believe she replied calling you rude after she swore at you!

Have you sent a copy for her texts to any other nursery mums in the group?

What a tragic tosser.

Agree - bless your heart and Billy Elliott gifs are the only possible responses.