Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now

[DoreenSamuel]

Dp and I both work ft and both do our fair share of looking after children and household chores. Food preparation is not really part of my allocation but I do more cleaning.

Anyway DP tends to do a lot of cooking on the weekend with a view to putting some things in the freezer and some things in the fridge for meals over the next few days.

He is a great cook and meals are always delicious. However I seem to have some irrational fear of food poisoning and I frequently ask questions about the food he’s making which seem to annoy him.

Today I noticed he was cooking a load of bacon and I was surprised as he’d already said he was making fish and chips for tea. I asked why he was cooking bacon and he said he was making stuffed jacket potatoes with cheese and bacon for a meal over the next few days. I apparently frowned and also said I didn’t think bacon would be safe to eat after being cooked and put in the fridge for a few days.

He became angry and told me to google it. He said he feels completely taken for granted and ‘nothing is ever good enough’.

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way. I do feel bad because he’s spent almost the whole day meal planning to ensure we can’t eat home cooked healthy meals but I really don’t think his reaction was ok.

Aibu? If so how can I make this better, he’s not answering his phone.

Sorry but it would really piss me off if someone constantly commented on what I was cooking. Not that \i ever cook but that's not the point.
Imagine if he constantly commented on what you were doing?

Oh, and buy a takeaway, as he's not answering in all likelihood because he knows you're only calling because you're hungry.

‘I can’t cook!’

Don’t be ridiculous. Just bother to learn.

Poor dude.

Also, I don’t see any problem on flouncing and going silent if you feel under-appreciated and absolutely taken for granted.

'I can’t cook!’ Don’t be ridiculous. Just bother to learn.'

Given you can't cook I think you have a cheek criticising and questioning him

If you can read you can cook.

The first dish you need to make is humble pie.

If I were him I'd go away for the rest of the weekend, book into a hotel and have all meals cooked for me, not answer the phone and leave you on your own to get your shit together.

Tbh op I do this with ironing, say 'I can't' when I mean I don't like it. I too criticise other people's attempts. No one has ever ran off and refused to speak to me though, he needs to toughen up a bit.

He's not answering the phone so rather than just keep ringing him and text him and tell him you are very sorry and you know you were bang out of order OP!

Think about getting some help with your anxiety and learning to cook a few dishes as well.

This is the kind of dumb fight many married people have. Just let him cool off, apologize and don’t be so annoying going forward.

Make sure he knows how much you appreciate him handling all the meals. Like many have written, it’s amazing to have someone handle 100% of the cooking for you.

Put rice on to boil
Heat oil in wok
Chop up chicken breast into small chunks
Cook in wok until white on outside
Chop up peppers and onions into chunks
Put in wok
Add in Korma sauce/sweet and sour sauce/Thai green curry sauce/lemon chicken sauce
Stir
Check rice, stir and add more water if needed
Cover wok and leave for approx 10mins, stirring occasionally
Get a meat thermometer and test the chicken, should be 75degrees.
Stuck naan breed in microwave for 10seconds

Drain rice and serve.

Voila- several different types of chicken dish with one recipe.

Of course there’s a point to you learning. So that he isn’t always having to do it, and so that he doesn’t have to make alternative meals for you.

He’s making stuffed jacket potatoes:

• Bake potatoes
• Fry bacon
• Grate cheese
• Cut potatoes in half and scoop them out
• Mix potato with cheese, butter, bacon (and sour cream and chives if you feel fancy), salt and pepper
• Spoon mix back into skin
• Put in fridge

When you come to cooking them, cover with grated cheese and stick in the oven

He can’t be better at this than you. It’s not making choux pastry or hollandaise or perfectly cooking a steak. It’s chucking things together and putting it in the oven.

Text him a sincere apology. Tell him you’re going to seek help for your anxiety, then do it.

cooks me a different meal if I don’t like what he’s making already for the rest of the family. Could it be that this is what he thought you were working towards, a different meal being made for you and he's sick of it?

Does he always over react when you ask a question?

I would imagine it's the straw that broke the camels back regarding being questioned all the time about what he's cooking.

and cooks me a different meal if I don’t like what he’s making already for the rest of the family

So you treat him like he works in a restaurant!

Don't wait for him to answer his phone. Text "I'm sorry, I was unreasonable. Love you xxx"

Tbh op I do this with ironing, say 'I can't' when I mean I don't like it. I too criticise other people's attempts. No one has ever ran off and refused to speak to me though, he needs to toughen up a bit.

They should. And you and the OP should stop thinking you have the right to criticise the kind people you know who make your lives easier by doing things you don’t want to do for yourselves

Have you heard from him yet OP?

Tbh op I do this with ironing, say 'I can't' when I mean I don't like it. I too criticise other people's attempts. No one has ever ran off and refused to speak to me though, he needs to toughen up a bit.

Good God, how embarrassing.

YABU. I'd be so annoyed. The fact that you're questioning him so much on something that you know absolutely nothing about (proven by not realising that you can put bacon in the fridge) is beyond annoying.

Has he ever given you food poisoning?

You're being so unreasonable I'm surprised you couldn't see it when the conversation took place.

Your OH knows how to cook (well). He also willingly cooks for the whole family. You, being a twat and pretending you "can't" cook, rather than being honest and saying you can't be arsed to cook, have absolutely no say in the cooking. Do you really think he will willingly poison you? I don't eat bacon, but know it's cured and lasts a bloody long time.

Almost every packet of food you buy has instructions on how to cook it on the packet. Rice, Pasta, are so easy. Then you buy a bottle of sauce and read the instructions, follow instructions. There, you have a meal.

Once you've got the hang of that, maybe your dh will show you how to chop things. Then when youc an do that he might show you how to cook onions (the basis of almost every savoury home-cooked meal I make!). Once you've got the hang of onions, youc an do all sorts.

Then you'll be cooking together. Much nicer.

Being the one responsible for planning and cooking every day is painfully dull. To then have that questioned and criticised by someone who can't be arsed to do it themselves, frequently... I'd have done what he's done.