Dp stormed out after I questioned the bacon, don’t know what to do now

[DoreenSamuel]

Dp and I both work ft and both do our fair share of looking after children and household chores. Food preparation is not really part of my allocation but I do more cleaning.

Anyway DP tends to do a lot of cooking on the weekend with a view to putting some things in the freezer and some things in the fridge for meals over the next few days.

He is a great cook and meals are always delicious. However I seem to have some irrational fear of food poisoning and I frequently ask questions about the food he’s making which seem to annoy him.

Today I noticed he was cooking a load of bacon and I was surprised as he’d already said he was making fish and chips for tea. I asked why he was cooking bacon and he said he was making stuffed jacket potatoes with cheese and bacon for a meal over the next few days. I apparently frowned and also said I didn’t think bacon would be safe to eat after being cooked and put in the fridge for a few days.

He became angry and told me to google it. He said he feels completely taken for granted and ‘nothing is ever good enough’.

He’s stormed out basically telling me to fuck off and make my own meals. He knows I can’t cook so I feel really upset he’s reacted in this way. I do feel bad because he’s spent almost the whole day meal planning to ensure we can’t eat home cooked healthy meals but I really don’t think his reaction was ok.

Aibu? If so how can I make this better, he’s not answering his phone.

Purple artichoke me too. I'd happily kill my DH when he comes in, gets in the way and then gives something a helpful stir to 'stop it burning' for example. Literally the red mist descends and he can't understand why. Perhaps I should leave him to his own devices. He also questions of food is properly cooked through (it is) or past it's best/gone off (it isn't).
OP, on this basis, this would give me the full rage. I'd put yourself in his shoes then apologise if I were you.

Mammy DH made one attempt at the role of Interfering Spoony Fucker and got such a bollocking that all he ever says now is "that smells good, mmm" from the safety of the living room.

GetOffYourHighHorse

Isn't the flouncing incommunicado DH more of an issue?

Only if you are trying to make it one.

"Food anxiety" really? I suggest that you get down on your knees and grovel/give him a bj when he gets back. I spent 27 years being the only one to cook in our family - you have no idea how much head spae meal planning/shopping/using up left overs/avoiding food waste takes - you have a DH who does it for you and you piss him off. Frankly OP you don't know you are born....

Buy a cook book for beginners. Pick a recipe. Buy the ingredients. Read the recipe slowly twice. Get out the equipment. Cook the recipe. Show your children both their parents are functioning adults.
I was a much better cook than my husband who had always been looked after by his mum when we married. He made a few pathetic excuses and I explained that all capable adults can learn to cook and I expected him to, I had no interest in being married to someone who couldn’t.
Your husband should probably refuse to cook for you for the next month, that’s what I’d advise him to do.

If you can read/ follow basic instructions then you can cook. I learnt that at about 12.

I think it is very easy to lose confidence with cooking. My DH as a stay at home dad does most of the cooking but I try and cook a proper meal once at weekend. I am not as good as him, I find it stressful and it takes me twice as long but I need to keep it up so I know I can.

You're being pretty U to question and criticise what he's making when he's there cooking all your meals. DH always cooks in our house and I'm really grateful for it. You need to either learn to cook or stop being so critical.

Hope you have managed to patch things up OP. Good on you for accepting you were in the wrong.

Gosh Doreen, you really need to learn some basic cooking. "Throw something together... nuggets and smiley faces..." really doesn't count you know. Stop being so lazy and deliberately inept!

He sounds like a keeper!
You... not so much
Hope you made up and apologised.

I don’t get how people think bacon isn’t safe to eat if it’s been cooked and refrigerated- do you think M&S are trying to commit genocide by selling quiche Lorraine and cooked bacon strips?

If you can read you can cook.

Good god. People who say they ‘can’t cook’ just piss me right off. It’s so pathetic.

Anyone can cook if they have to. If you can’t be arsed to do something that’s so completely fundamental to being a functioning adult because —some other mug— someone else will do it for you then just own it.

I don’t get how people think bacon isn’t safe to eat if it’s been cooked and refrigerated- do you think M&S are trying to commit genocide by selling quiche Lorraine and cooked bacon strips?

😂😂😂
This is not just bacon.
This is M&S population lowering bacon.

This is not just bacon. This is M&S population lowering bacon.

Unbeliebable... you could not make this up.

Not being able to cook is nothing to do with not understanding food hygiene. There's free info online;
www.food.gov.uk/food-safety

What an embarrassment.

The Science of Cooking: Every Question Answered to Perfect your Cooking www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0241229782/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_U45iEbECX0WCF?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

This book might help you to learn cooking from the ground up, as it were. It may help you to understand the nuts and bolts of it all and make you feel more confident.

I’m the cook in our house and I make 90% of our meals from absolute scratch, some of them are quite fancy and technical. As some other people have said, the mental load is bigger than you might imagine, especially with picky eaters (OH and DS).
OH has learned to make spaghetti bolognese and chilli so that he can batch cook once a month. We get around seven or eight meals out of these batches and it’s something I can pull out of the freezer at short notice with minimal effort once a week or so. It might be an idea to have something like this under your belt so that you can give the guy a night off
I love cooking and read about it a lot, but sometimes it’s good to have someone else do it. You might find your anxiety diminishes if you have more control.

Telling you to fuck off wasn't on.
I wouldn't be speaking to him after that.

if he wont cook, then leave him to it, then you can relinquish some of your own duties as well.

you should learn to cook though.
and maybe stop questioning his cooking so much.

He must know by now that you have severe anxiety around this one issue so I think saying the things he did was a bit harsh. It's hard to get such fears under control, but maybe you could try to bite your tongue in future. Hopefully he will calm down soon so you can both talk sensibly.

YABU!

YouTube has loads of cooking tutorials go and view them.

Teach yourself how to cook, he must be sick of your criticism anxiety.

YABU. You should also learn to cook

If he didn’t cook sadly I think I’d live on beans on toast and apples, he does really look after me.

Unless there are medical issues involved that's really pathetic.