Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

Having had 4, I still think my favourite of all time is DD who was about 5 at the time....

"Daddy, you look like Ken! And Mummy.... you look like.... like....Barbie's mum!"

Mummy I love your tummy. It’s just so so big. Can I touch it

My dd once asked my why I wasnt wearing make up to pick her up from school when she was 5..

My sister told her off (gently) when she was 4 and she stormed off shouting 'shes just jealous because I'm prettier than her' 😱

Just now watching dancing on ice:

You dont look like princess Fiona mum, you look like shrek

OH's nephew 5, after having just had my DD, around 2-3 weeks old...
...points at my belly....
"Your babies over there" then points to her in her moses basket
"Yes she is"
"But she was in there before" points at my belly again
"Yes she was"
Totally deadpan "So why are you still fat?"

Today whilst in a public toilet, 3 year old DD:

"Oh mummy you've got poo in your knickers (on period). Its ok mummy you need to wipe until theres no poo left. Shall I get daddy to help?"

Same child also said she doesn't like it when I kiss her because I'm all slimy

From a particularly challenging rainbow guide at her Pot of Gold leaving party - I said "don't be said about leaving rainbows, I'm going to take over Brownies and we'll see you again soon".
She said " oh no, Mum, I don't want to go to Brownies!".....Thanks!

DD was talking about being kind with DS, who is 3. Said to him let’s practice - say something kind to mummy.
‘Mummy you look like a dead slug’

I was unloading groceries from my vehicle wearing a baseball cap and the lovely neighbor and her toddlers came out and the youngest yelled "Hi Mr Jeff" excitedly to my husband and then looked at me and said "Hi Mr Pizza delivery man!"

My sister told her off (gently) when she was 4 and she stormed off shouting 'shes just jealous because I'm prettier than her

That’s really sad to be thinking stuff like that at 4...

My DH was getting ready for a meeting, put on a white formal shirt, and DS2 said you look like Jesus! No idea where that came from we aren’t remotely religious!

I had my hair curled one day for a change, DS1 said I like your hair mum, picked up DS2, my hair was not mentioned, when we got home, he took me hand and said mum you look like a monster! I hope he meant you don’t look like mum, so if on the rare occasion my hair is curled now we call it monster hair.

Trying on a beautiful black fitted fishtail gown.
"oh mummy, you look like that lady from the mermaid"

Ursula. She thought I looked like Ursula.
The reasonable side of me acknowledges that it was the dress style. However, I have a C section overhang and baby weight to lose, so the dress is now tainted for me.

A friend of mine was telling her 4ur old son.... Tidy up, then go wash your hands, and in all seriousness the child said.... I only have one pair of hands mummy.

DS1 (don't remember his age at the time): Oh poor mummy, your bottom is too big for the toilet

I was singing a lullaby to my 3 year old daughter when she said " Stop that, it's not beautiful."

Daddy said you are stupid and annoying.

From a man who alleges that Im a narcissist and am ruining his relationship with his daughter.

I tried to let it wash over me and reminded her that we must always try to be kind

@ConnorRipley This actually made me laugh out loud

Getting dressed after a shower in front of DS who was 7 at the time. “Mummy why does your tummy and boobs look like a surprised old man?” the proceeded to do an impression. Of my stomach and boobs.

"Mammy - did you know you have a moustache?"

When singing a lullaby to my 2 yo DD she put her hand over my mouth and said, "Don't sing Mummy",.

I do have a truly dreadful voice.

When I do my eyebrows my 7 year old asks me why I’m wearing my “granny brows “ Does make me wonder ha ha

Being told that my home made sausage rolls weren't as nice as Greggs

Youngest DS when I was pregnant with youngest DD - "mummy have you got a baby in your bottom as well as your tummy"? 😂😂

When my ds was about 3 he refused to kiss me if I wasn’t wearing my makeup or had my hair in a pony tail! 🙈 I’m no natural beauty but still I don’t think I’m that grotesque 😂

About 3 wks fter I had my 3rd DD I opened the door to my postman who didn't recognise me, when he realised who I was to save embarrassment I said "oh, it's ok, I was much larger the last time you saw me".

He laughed and said "honey, you was MASSIVE" laughed and walked off.

😂😂