Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

Not child related but embarrassing non the less.

Why is your bottom so big and fat aunty

I've had loads working with kids. Mrs H your hair looks like string. Mrs H were you on the Titanic? Mrs H I bet your kids will be sad when you die! 🙈😂

7 year old granddaughter sat next to me on a sun bed in Mexico.
She tenderly stroked the top of my arm and said “ oh your arm is so soft and silky” I beamed with delight that I had exfoliated for our holiday....then she added “ and soooo wobbly” and proceeded to flap my bingo wings

'I prefer the school lasagna'

My niece aged about 4 ran into my bedroom, looked around her and said ‘Oh - it’s not very nice in here is it?’. She was then and still is now, a lovely girl and didn’t mean to be rude. She was just being honest. I looked around with her eyes and saw how messy and tatty everything was and realised she was quite right. It really wasn’t very nice but it had happened so gradually over years of working hard and having kids and not much time, money or energy I hadn’t realised how awful it had become. It was the kick up the bum I needed and started me cleaning, decluttering, decorating and upgrading.

A few months before I got married my 4yo dd pointed at Holly Willoughby on TV and said I should try and look like her for the wedding because "she has lovely skin. She doesnt have any spots."

My 2.5 year old keeps telling me he loves daddy and nanny but not me

DD aged 4 sat up on friend's DDs (age 9) high sleeper bed. I sat watching them lark about when my DD turned to the other girl and said "my mummy can't come up here, she's too fat"! The 9yo politely said I wasn't fat, to which my DD replied "yes she is, look at her big squishy tummy!" she wasn't wrong

My 12 year old stepdaughter, when I was showing her some pictures of her from when I was in my twenties "Oh wow, I can't believe you looked so pretty then..."

My two year old said 'mummy's bum is too big to fit in there' 😭 he was right though!

I've just remembered a fairly recent one from one of my teenage sons. I said something like "Come and give your old, fat Mum a hand getting the shopping in" and he replied "Aww, you're not old Mum."
Sometimes it is what they don't say...

Me getting dressed, standing in my knickers. Youngest jokingly slap my bum then calls out to his brothers "come look at mums bum, if you slap it, it wobbles for ages" as he then proceeded to demonstrate to his audience!! I wouldn't mind but I'm only a size 10

I remember helping in my dd's class when she was year 1. One time I was doing craft with a table which contained a girl who always wanted to be one up.
One of the little ones says, "We're going round to my great-granny's house for her birthday. She's 98".
So I said something along the lines of "Wow! That's amazing!"
Competitive girl says, "That's nothing, my gran is 137!"

I really had to hide my laughter because said Gran often did the pick-ups, was probably early 50s and liked to tell people how she'd been mistaken for the mum's sister/granddaughter's mum because she looked so young. I didn't tell her.

Another was my dd at around the same age. She said, "When you get older, you get less pretty."
So I asked why she said that and she replied. "Peggy (next door neighbour) eyes have funny wrinkles on them."
I pointed out that Peggy was 89 (and actually doing very well) to which she replied. "Yes, but mummy, your eyes have started already."

Mummy, I'm too polite to tell you how messy your hair is.

DN 'do you still have a baby in your belly?'
1 month after giving birth 🥴

DD aged 21 months:

“Want to go home”.
“We are home, darling.”
“Want to go home to Nanna and Grandad’s house”.

I did feel a bit wounded by that.

However, I did have to laugh at a friend’s DS. “We need to buy a bigger toilet seat, because Mummy’s bum doesn’t fit on it”.

I was singing that "I like big butt's and a cannot lie" song. Without missing a beat, ds1 (6 at the time) sang the next line for me:
"You've got one and that's why!"

I remember years ago, joining in a song DS had learned at Nursery

DS How do you know that ?
Me I used to sing it when I was little too
DS [looking astonished] I didn't know they had songs then

And I typed that correctly but failed to proof read Damn that lack of edit facility!

“Ouch, mummy what happened?”
Very confused - “what do you mean?”
“Your face (pointing to left side of forehead), that must have hurt! It’s a huge bruise!”
Check in mirror. Turns out my melasma is worse than I thought. Previously I’d only noticed the right side patches but he’s right I’ve a huge dark patch that side as well...
The glamour of middle age..

About to go on the school run my DS 6 says “are you sure you don’t want to put some make up on mum you really are looking past your prime” 😂

Also my mum always like to remind me that when I was about 6 I commented on my aunts mole.

Me: 'What is that big thing above your lips'

Aunt: 'It's my mole'

Me: 'I don't think it is a mole it's very big and has legs I think it's a spider'

The legs were of course the hair on her mole.
My mum was mortified.

DS1 at around 4 .. “awk mummy your wee chin hairs are so cute”
Great.

DS1 also more recently at age 5.5 to aunts friend, “where are the rest of your teeth? I can only see one up there” was quickly whisked away 🤣