Children's comments that cut you deep (light hearted)

[MakeItRain]

I was off sick recently with flu, and when I finally went back to work (I teach young children) a child in my class happily said "oh, you're back. I thought you were dead!" She didn't look all that bothered either 😭 Luckily I did also get a lot of hugs from others in my class.
AIBU to ask what's the most forthright comment a child has ever made to you?

@iklboo hahaha that is brilliant

Just today, while I’m on my period, my 2.5-year-old barged into the washroom on me while we had company. “Oh no!”, she loudly exclaimed, “there’s so much blood in your diaper! Yucky yucky!”

These are so funny. Especially the jobby in the moonlight one 😂

I’d had a haircut and my son said “oh you’ve had a haircut, and it looks like a mushroom”

I made a face and he said “but I really like mushrooms so it’s good”.

I didn’t have that haircut again.

Both children regularly comment on my age “did they have aeroplanes when you were a little girl?”, “was the TV invented when you were a child?” But they mainly do this in jest.

5 year old at a school where I volunteered: 'why do you look like a man?'

My own DD is not yet old enough to insult me but I'm sure there'll be much to come

These are great.
My dd has come out with corkers. I remember spending 5 hours baking, cooling, icing and butter creaming a caramel fudge cake. I was so pleased! She took a bite and said, "Hmm, I've had better."

From a girl aged 4 at a kids club I helped with when I was 18

"I like you coz you're fat like my mummy"

DS1 (then aged 7) and I sat down to watch Space Jam together.
Me, during the opening credits: I saw this at the cinema.
DS: Oh. Is it in black and white. I was 36 at the time!

Conversation with DS2 (then aged 5).
DS2: I love you mummy
Me: Aw, I love you too. Am I the best mummy in the world (yeah, okay I was fishing)
DS2: I don't know
Me: You don't know?!
DS2: Well, I haven't met all the mummies in the world, so I don't know if you're the best.

Solid logic.

My godson many years ago when i had very bad acne - ‘name why do you have those bumps all over your face’ 😂

My son was looking through old photos on the computer. Some of me at 18 at my sixth form leavers prom looking very slim (size 10 back then, size 18-20 now), also looking considerably less tired and stressed back then 🤣 He turned to me and said mum why did you change into that pointing at me? Thanks mate 👍

I picked up DS, aged 6 from his dad’s after I’d been to the hair dresser.
DS “mummy, have you had your hair cut?”
Me “Yes I have!”
DS, in a very disappointed tone, “Oh dear” then after a pause “don’t worry, it’ll grow back!”

Driving my son to nursery one morning, completely out of the blue he said "mummy, if I die then you will have no children and be sad." That was quite the WTF moment, especially as he was only 3 at the time!

DD now 12 asked "Mummy, was it black and white when you were little?"
Honestly!!!
Trying to explain to a 4 year old that life wasn't black and white and that colour existed

A 6 year old (not my own) once asked me why I had spots all over my face. I said I have bad skin, she replied why what did it do that was so bad?

DS (3)
"mummy, you have a hairy nose like daddy!"

DD(then 6): My new friend has got curly hair like you Mummy.
Me: All the best people have curly hair Sweetheart.
DD: You’re not one of the best people Mummy.

These are absolutely making my day!! 😂

"mama how did you play with your playstation when it was made out of wood?" After learning about toys in the Victorian era. I was 25 at the time!

Youngest DD after starting to school "Miss S (teacher) dresses a bit like you Mummy but her clothes are new and posher". Also when I did buy a new (posh) top and asked if she liked it "depends, will you be wearing it if you're taking me anywhere." She also likes to compare me with Daddy but I usually come out of that favourably so I let her off "Mummy you have much more grey hair than Daddy but only because you have much more hair" DH who is in denial over his bald spot refutes this.

Told my DD that I am about to be a school governor so don't be surprised if you see me in school. "oh my God that's so embarrassing ". But your dad is in school all the time, is that embarrassing too?. "no"

Great

I was in a swimsuit and some random child asked me why I had boobies on my front and my back it’s been a good 15 years but I’m still mortified!

DS1 asked me if people had tails when I was born
DS 2 asked me (on a separate occasion) if dinosaurs were still around when I was a child
I was about 30 at the time

Mummy, in the olden days, when you were young...

Ds was about three and had his first full weekend stay at his dads

When he got back i cuddled him tightly and told him I had missed him so much then asked did you miss Mummy? He thought about it for a few seconds then replied No not really Mummy 😬

And daddy is better at everything apart from making chilli we laugh at this (can be annoying)

My dad (who would be 87 if he were still with us) asked his dad as a child (so 1930s), if knights still wore armour when he was a child (in the 1900s).