To have replied to my neighbours anonymous letter?

[RhubarbBikini88]

My neighbour moved in last year and although she doesn’t always say hello (her husband does) we are on reasonable terms, taking parcels in for one another, Christmas cards etc. This afternoon while we were out we were sent an anonymous printed letter addressed to our house number asking us to be more careful with our rubbish as they have had to pick up an advent calendar and a nappy in a bag. I understand that’s not pleasant for them, and we are sorry but it’s been very windy and the council recently swapped our bin for a smaller one which means it gets filled quicker, and our recycling is just in plastic tubs which makes it out of our control when it’s windy as it’s just in boxes!
We have a ring doorbell which records everything outside our house, so we checked to see who posted it and it was our neighbour who lives in the house next door.
I wrote a letter back which said “dear ..., thank you for making us aware of the rubbish situation. We will try to prevent this happening again but if it does please feel free to speak to us in person as although we are not very good at controlling our rubbish, I promise we are friendly people!” And signed it with our name and house number!
Have I been out of order?

You are out of order for berating her for not speaking to you, then you doing the exact same thing.

While your response is undoubtedly clever, I don't think it's going to help matters with your neighbours at all... You are in effect making her feel embarrassed (as you "caught" her) and she's not going to respond well from that place. Whether her initial complaint was unreasonable or not, you'll have to live next door to her potentially for a very long time and keeping things positive is in your interest as well as hers.

I actually love that you did that!
And of course it would have been pretty hard for you to talk to her face to face since she seems to actively avoid that, PLUS she would have been MORTIFIED if you'd spoken to her in person!

Well done - I hope that your bin situation is resolved soon - so mad having such a small bin when you have a baby!

I realise that this forum is primarily used by British people who tend to think their ways are superior to everyone else’s so I know I’m on a hiding to nothing with this view.

Nice.

I don't see how the size of the bin makes a difference, as long as the lid is closed then no rubbish should be falling out surely? You could put the recycling in the boxes with any larger heavier cardboard on top to stop it blowing away, or with smaller pieces of paper and card inside a larger box. Or get a waterproof cover for it, we were given one with our box.

I have neighbours who let their rubbish blow all over the street every single time we have a windy bin day. This may be a one off for you but your neighbour may have had to put up with a neighbour like mine before.

@Cyberlibre

Our bin collects once a fortnight and we are barely filling it with even 1 bin bag ⭐️🥇🙄

So many things can be recycled now, plus food waste

Is it beyond your wit to understand not all councils recycle the same things?

My mum's council only recycle half the stuff ours does, thus there is more rubbish in the general waste, fills quicker.

amelie thanks for the medals. Love it.

No, of course it isn't beyond my wit. I understand that all councils are different..but op mentions a recycling bin.
And I did say that all areas are different.
But as you were.

@RhubarbBikini88 I wonder if the husband knows anything about her letter? If not, do you know if he was in when you posted your reply? If he's more friendly - I'm guessing you've put her in a tight spot there lol - serves her right I guess. I wouldn't moan about a one-off.

Well done, OP. YANBU

You seem to me creating a lot more drama than necessary out of this situation. Your rubbish was scattered across the street, your neighbours sorted it and left you a polite note so that you were aware of the problem. Why is any further action required? I'm surprised you even bothered to investigate who left the note and your reply was very passive aggressive by the way.

Well this is my favourite thread in a wee while. I’m also considering a Ring doorbell now as we have a CF neighbour who pulls similar stunts.

What area does your doorbell cover? I’d be checking if it even was a nappy from your bin as that seems a heavy thing to blow out.

Honestly in your situation I would be more embarrassed about my child’s shitty nappies flying across the neighbourhood. Spend more energy trying to make sure that doesn’t happen again rather than embarass your neighbours when they rightly call you out on it. So filthy!

OP I love your attitude!

I live on the shore and our bin men just chuck stuff about in the strong winds. After collection all of our gardens are covered in each other’s rubbish so I stick a latex glove on and pick it all up and that’s that, I would even grab stuff (not my rubbish) from my neighbours garden if they aren’t there and I’m doing it anyway

I really struggle to talk to them or say hello however due to anxiety and could probably only communicate in notes (although I’d sign it) I just think you’ve been wonderfully polite whilst still catching her out AND opened a line of communication face to face

Bravo

That is brilliant. Good for you. X

Why are you so offended by the note? Seems like you want to be super friendly with the neighbours they just want to live peacefully without having much to do with each other. You assume your way is superior to theirs but it isn't just different. They don't owe you conversation but you do have a responsibility to not let your rubbish spill over the street.

How passive-aggressive of them! You did the right thing.

You mean, how passive-aggressive of both the neighbour AND the OP.

@NoseyBuggerMum- can you define super friendly? I thought the OP was talking about polite conversation, not booking a cruise together.

For all the people having a moan at the OP for not keeping the rubbish in her bin - if OP’s council is anything like ours you have no chance. We have to -
Separate recyclables into to separate boxes, black for card and glass, green for other recyclables
If you cover you box with anything other than the council approved netting (that the seagulls shred within hours and council will only replace once a year) the bin men won’t collect it
If you weigh your recycling down with a brick or similar you’ll get a label tied to it saying ‘incorrect items in recycling’ and a list of the permitted items. Not only will your recycling not be collected, they often won’t empty your wheelie bin (only once a fortnight anyway) if they judge you to have incorrectly sorted your recycling.
If you live in flats where your bins are all put out together, one offending item in one recycling box can result in the entire block of flats having their rubbish refused
Th council sold the contract to the company that collects the rubbish. They refuse to deal with any issues at all and pass you onto the company who are completely uncontactable.

It’s an absolute shit show and I imagine I’m not in the only area where this happens.

@Shockers

But if the neighbour doesn't want polite conversation that's fine. As long as the neighbour's not doing anything that actively prevents OP living her life she's fine. It might be nicer if they were friendly but it's not obligatory. Her neighbour's entitled to be friendly or keep to herself as she sees fit. Seems unnecessarily antagonistic to force her to chat if she doesn't want to.

You are out of order for berating her for not speaking to you

To berate it to criticise angrily. OP invited them to speak directly in future- in a friendly way.

OP also signed her letter. The problem with the neighbour was the attempt to remain anonymous.

Brilliant 😁

Brilliant response OP.

We have a Ring doorbell too