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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have replied to my neighbours anonymous letter?

127 replies

RhubarbBikini88 · 17/01/2020 23:55

My neighbour moved in last year and although she doesn’t always say hello (her husband does) we are on reasonable terms, taking parcels in for one another, Christmas cards etc. This afternoon while we were out we were sent an anonymous printed letter addressed to our house number asking us to be more careful with our rubbish as they have had to pick up an advent calendar and a nappy in a bag. I understand that’s not pleasant for them, and we are sorry but it’s been very windy and the council recently swapped our bin for a smaller one which means it gets filled quicker, and our recycling is just in plastic tubs which makes it out of our control when it’s windy as it’s just in boxes!
We have a ring doorbell which records everything outside our house, so we checked to see who posted it and it was our neighbour who lives in the house next door.
I wrote a letter back which said “dear ..., thank you for making us aware of the rubbish situation. We will try to prevent this happening again but if it does please feel free to speak to us in person as although we are not very good at controlling our rubbish, I promise we are friendly people!” And signed it with our name and house number!
Have I been out of order?

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 18/01/2020 09:04

How can you be sure you’ve got the right house?

Well if you had bothered to even read the OPs posts you would see the answer to that.

LagunaBubbles · 18/01/2020 09:05

And to the people criticising the OP you generally can't just buy a different type of bin, the council will supply bins that suit them and their lorries.

EnidBlyton · 18/01/2020 09:09

It was an anonymous note, which seems worse.
when i moved into my housing association house someone from the association called me to tell me my neighbour wanted me to put my bin elsewhere!
now that was annoying.

thatgingergirl · 18/01/2020 09:11

You were perfectly polite OP, but I think if you want them to speak to you about any possible future issues, you needed to speak to them. I think sending a note back is a bit snarky in itself. Set them a good example!

ParanoidGynodroid · 18/01/2020 09:23

Oh she is feeling so mortified right now! Serves her right. An anonymous letter, FFS! How cowardly. Well done for dealing with this in a straightforward and unabashed manner, OP.

Queenest · 18/01/2020 09:25

Very well handled OP. I bet they’re discussing which of the neighbours opposite have snitched on them.

Hellohah · 18/01/2020 09:28

When my NDN moved in they had a young baby. There are the Mum, Dad and 5 kids so a big tribe.
They're bin obviously gets full quickly... My cat (because she's a fucking idiot) used to pull the nappy bags out of their bin when it wouldn't properly closed and bring them in the house! I'd come home from work, or get up in the morning to a number of them in my kitchen.
Your neighbour should be thankful she doesn't have a cat 🙈

TheVanguardSix · 18/01/2020 09:31

Call you council. Ask for a larger bin.
No need to start a thread about it.

SusanneLinder · 18/01/2020 09:35

Call you council. Ask for a larger bin.
No need to start a thread about it.

And if you'd bothered to read the thread, you would know that the OP had already done this!

category12 · 18/01/2020 09:37

our recycling is just in plastic tubs which makes it out of our control when it’s windy as it’s just in boxes!

You could weight them, put them somewhere else, or put them into a larger garden box. I think it's pretty antisocial to shrug it off as something that can't be helped - you can help it.

MimiLaRue · 18/01/2020 09:43

You were very reasonable and polite- good for you!

MimiLaRue · 18/01/2020 09:46

I cant believe people are nagging you about the bin- to back up the OP we asked for a larger bin from the council once and they refused as you have to have at least 5 people living in your house to get one.

Sh05 · 18/01/2020 09:48

Call you council. Ask for a larger bin.
No need to start a thread about it.*
It's never this simple though is it?
Our council will deliver free recycling containers but there's a 3 week wait and charge for a general waste bins regardless of whether yours is lost, broken, damaged, stolen etc. And a larger container will only be delivered after a recycling officer has been round to make sure there are more than 5 people in the family and you are recycling everything they say you should be.
Plus if they're open containers with no lids, the rubbish is still going to fly around on windy days

recycledbottle · 18/01/2020 09:49

I don't live in the area so can't advise on bins but you obviously can't have other people picking up your shit (litterally) so you need to sort it. As it stands you seem to have a it's not my problem type attitude. The neighbour maybe didn't want to discuss with you as thought it might be awkward or maybe you weren't there so left a note. There could be various reasons. Your reply is passive aggressive and you don't seem to take any responsibility for your rubbish flying around instead focusing on you not being happy with the note and pretending you are friendly. All could be fine with your neighbour or you could have ruined whatever relationship you had.

madcatladyforever · 18/01/2020 09:53

Not out of order at all. I HATE anonymous complaints, if someone is going to complain I wish they would have the decency to come over and complain in person.
And where do I get one of those doorbells, I must have one Grin

ItWentInMyEye · 18/01/2020 09:54

Perfect response from you OP! 👌🏻

Lazypuppy · 18/01/2020 09:58

Loving all the people who think you can just ask for a bigger bin Grin

We used to have a big bin, then our council gave us all smaller bins!nappies are sperate though, you get extra bags for them

Oldraver · 18/01/2020 10:00

We used to use the elasticated nets for recycling bins, until we had a hedgehog caught up in one and had to take him to the vets to be cut out.

Until we had wheely bins we used to put a brick or big stone on the bins, all our neighbours did

Itwasntme1 · 18/01/2020 10:01

Perfect response.

My neighbours allow rubbish to blow everywhere. Only annoys me when I see them repeatedly walking passed it and leaving it to me to clear up.

But if I had a problem I would say it to their face.

One selection box and one nappy bag is nothing😊. I have picked up a used pregnancy test😬. (Gardening gloves come in handy)

RhubarbBikini88 · 18/01/2020 10:04

@recycledbottle it was a printed letter not a quick note, so it was clearly preempted and thought out as I assume she would maybe think I would recognise her handwriting from Christmas cards.

OP posts:
olivertwistwantsmore · 18/01/2020 10:04

How passive aggressive of them! You did the right thing.

CallMeRachel · 18/01/2020 10:07

Well handled op!

A lesson to anyone who thinks sending anonymous passive aggressive notes is the answer where actually talking to people would have been the better thing to do.

She'll be smarting after realising she's been identified Grin

strawberry2017 · 18/01/2020 10:18

I love this! Well done OP

recycledbottle · 18/01/2020 10:22

Op I read the original post. If she lives next door then she could be waiting for you at home and can see if you are there. To type a note is as quick as writing. I wouldn't personally ever do an anonymous note. I don't like them but as they seem common people obviously see a reason for them. You seem to think that all will be fine and your neighbour will continue to pick up your shit and will now call to you to let you know she has. If I got that note from you I would never pick up your rubbish but would instead call to your door to tell you where it is and tell you to pick it up. I certainly wouldn't be doing it for you ever again.

Shockers · 18/01/2020 10:25

It always amuses me that people take the time to comment on a thread that they think is a waste of time... Wink.

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