To have replied to my neighbours anonymous letter?

[RhubarbBikini88]

My neighbour moved in last year and although she doesn’t always say hello (her husband does) we are on reasonable terms, taking parcels in for one another, Christmas cards etc. This afternoon while we were out we were sent an anonymous printed letter addressed to our house number asking us to be more careful with our rubbish as they have had to pick up an advent calendar and a nappy in a bag. I understand that’s not pleasant for them, and we are sorry but it’s been very windy and the council recently swapped our bin for a smaller one which means it gets filled quicker, and our recycling is just in plastic tubs which makes it out of our control when it’s windy as it’s just in boxes!
We have a ring doorbell which records everything outside our house, so we checked to see who posted it and it was our neighbour who lives in the house next door.
I wrote a letter back which said “dear ..., thank you for making us aware of the rubbish situation. We will try to prevent this happening again but if it does please feel free to speak to us in person as although we are not very good at controlling our rubbish, I promise we are friendly people!” And signed it with our name and house number!
Have I been out of order?

I would have sent them also the photo.

Frankly, anonymous letter are far worse than a nappy escaping the rubbish.

We had an anonymous note put on our car when we moved to our current home. It was because we had parked on-road for a few days (no drives or garages here) in a way which wasn’t maximising the number of cars which could park - ie when we parked, it was the only space and by a lorry, but when other vehicles including the lorry moved, we were poorly placed for just car parking ( hope that makes sense!) I was really annoyed it wasn't signed as we couldn’t apologise. But I realise that the Baugh puts at that point had no idea if we would apologise and move or start screaming at them and threatening violence or worse.

Your note is perfect. I just moaned about it to the person I knew had done it, pretending I didn’t, in a passive aggressive way, calling it childish Which was childish of me really. Your way is much better!

‘The neighbours at that point...’

Brilliant reply OP.
Perfectly handled.

I would knock in person. And explain you have a ring doorbell! Hate notes its really childish of them.

This is the misconception of the Ring doorbell (we have one) is that it only starts the video when someone presses the bell, it doesn't it starts recording when it detects motion. I love mine.

I think your note is lovely. I bet she is mortified. I wonder if she thinks it was the Ring doorbell or whether she thinks another neighbour saw her.

There’s nothing wrong with leaving a note and it is better to leave a note with a name than an anonymous note, but it really is a cultural thing that notes, especially anonymous ones, are such a terrible thing to do and negate practically all bad behaviour the note is intended to address. I realise that this forum is primarily used by British people who tend to think their ways are superior to everyone else’s so I know I’m on a hiding to nothing with this view.

Great reply.

But please buy yourself some better bins to store your rubbish in until bin day, then put it out as late and securely as you can before the lorry comes - rubbish flying around the street is horrid and avoidable.

You need to keep your recycling somewhere else until collection day.

How can you be sure you’ve got the right house?

The thing about anonymous notes is you don’t know where they came from. And you say it was very windy. On days like that we get refuse and glass collection bags blown in from a dozen doors away.

Don’t be surprised if you get some very funny looks from your very puzzled neighbours.

How can you be sure you’ve got the right house?

Maybe you should try reading the post.

You’re on decent terms
She wanted to point something out but didn’t want to possibly risk disrupting relations
Now you’ve made it awkward

Any update on this? I'd love to know if youve spoken to ndn since.

@itsaboojum we have a Ring doorbell which records when it detects motion and we can then go back and watch it, so we have a video of her posting it through! Unless she has got a job as the postman, no one else posted anything through our door that day!
We store our recycling in the greenhouse until collection day so the advent calendar must have blown out in the wind on that morning. As I say the new bin is stupidly small and we are having to really squeeze the rubbish down, unsure how the nappy got over to them unless our cat had been in the bin.
Thanks all for your replies! I’m hoping she’s very puzzled today.. I’m quite excited, I’ve always wanted a pen pal - hope she replies soon!

I’m going to throw in a ‘maybe she has anxiety’ and so that’s why she sent you a note rather than speaking to you in person. Also, I’m a bit of a germaphobe, so I would find a nappy in a bag really gross!

Well done op, love your style as for the rubbish, unless it's a regular thing I think a few items, considering it's so windy is a tab of an over reaction on their part. Plus not speaking to you directly is a tad rude.

@itsaboojum It says in the OP. CCTV. which records everything outside our house, so we checked to see who posted it and it was our neighbour who lives in the house next door.

Good reply that OP

OP demand a proper size bin back from your council.

We haven’t spoken since, but I only posted it around 8pm last night. She only tends to speak if she has to, eg. if she is coming round to pick up a parcel we have taken in for them, otherwise she ducks in the house if she sees us, avoiding saying hello. Her husband is fairly pleasant and will have a brief chat. If we didn’t have Ring doorbell we would have felt really aggravated that someone was annoyed with us but we couldn’t respond, with it being anonymous. Even if she had sent her husband round to have a word, we wouldn’t have minded. Their garden sprinkler was coming over onto our patio furniture in the summer and DH went round and politely asked them if they could move it away from the fence. If you have an issue I believe the best way is to be upfront and honest without being aggressive about it.
I have tried to order another bin but they will only allow another one if you have over 5 people in the household (they have 3 kids so have got 2 bins) or someone with a medical condition living in the house and we don’t qualify for either.

Good for you!

It’s exactly the same where I live at the moment. If you hadn’t obviously got a young child I’d have thought you were one of my neighbours. There was recycling boxes across the lanes, in hedges and under benches etc the other day. Stupid thing to have introduced in a place as windy as here.

I had the same kind of situation although it was not my rubbish. The man next door went on to list everything that was in a bag he said took 40min to pick up. 10 minster before he stuck the letter through my door I could hear him and another neighbour talking about it on they must have both decided it was me. It wasn't so I sent a letter by. He never said anything to me and since says hello and talks to me about whatever is bothering him politley so much better and easier. 😊

TBH, as you say you object to the note rather than them approaching you personally, why didn’t you, instead of doing a note yourself, call at their house in person to respond? I would have done that to prove the point that it’s better discussing face to face rather than entering into written notes back and forth.

Looking forward to the updates this weekend!