To have confronted a mother smacking her child in public

[Roux95]

I was with OH in a clothes shop this afternoon looking for some bits. It was an extreme rarity for us to be child free so we were enjoying having a wander round without the double buggy!

When looking at some clothes I could hear a hysterical child having a tantrum, a hissing (parent i assume) and the sound of smacking. I looked around the racks I was browsing and sure enough a woman was knelt down at child height, hissing at the toddler to behave, smacked the child on the chest area and then went to smack the child's face but shot her hand down when she clocked that I was watching.

I was angered by what I saw and raised my voice at her to stop hitting the child, i told her we don't do that crap here (she was european - this is possibly not relevant but I know some cultures parent differently) and that her behaviour was disgusting and she should be ashamed and how would she like it if somebody her own size hit her.

This must have shocked the child as they stopped crying and the mother(?) sheepishly put the child into the pram rushed off.

OH was visibly embarrassed at being part of this confrontation but I think I was justified personally. In hindsight I think I could have said all of the above without raising my voice but my maternal instinct kicked in and I was furious for the child.

Was I being unreasonable for interesting? What would you have done?

Cam77, as a boring old regular citizen/bystander, I don't have any insight into children's terrors of hell or contents of family meals, obviously. I don't go peering through people's windows or eavesdropping on their conversations.

But a small child being beaten with a stick in the street, well, who would be able pass by without trying to do something to protect him? Would you?

I do think there is such a thing as society and after a working lifetime in education, I guess I have an eye out for the welfare of all children, all the time. Old habits die hard.

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/electroconvulsive-therapy-ect/#.XiK-IiSnyaM

The country which still does electric shock treatment is us too. So in England you can still smack and shock.

Shouting at people to stop hitting their kids is not going to stop them hitting your kids. She probably went home and gave her kid a good beating behind close doors.

Shouting at people to stop hitting their kids is not going to stop them hitting your kids. She probably went home and gave her kid a good beating behind close doors.

Which is why I think the OP should call the police for their advice.

I don't think there is anything wrong with pointing out there are cultural differences in parenting styles. I remember in sixth form having a discussion about smacking and the majority of the Asian students said they were punished in that way whilst this was not the case for the white students. This was 7 years ago.

I was regularly hit as a child. My parents' both had very stressful jobs and would often take their anger out on us in the form of beatings.

Thank you for standing up for that child.

Who cares about ops choice of words. Anyone sticking up for the women hitting her TODDLER in the FACE need to take a long hard look at themselves if she is hitting to that extreme in public I wonder what she’s doing at home...

Well done op!

Very judgemental of you. Parenting is difficult enough without random strangers verbally attacking you in public @disneybee wow... you’re defending her? I seriously hope you don’t have children either if you like that is acceptable.

Actually I take back my comments, I think you did the right thing in the moment. I don't know what I would have done.

You can agree with the op about the smacking bit and at the same time point out the racist choice of words she uses. That’s not sticking up for the abuser, that’s sticking up for those who are victims of racist behaviour and words.

I suspect the OP choose her words for this post deliberately.

Well done for confronting the parent. I once witnessed the most horrible treatment of a toddler. It haunts me to this day. I didn't say a word.

Well done OP I would have done exactly the same. The more that people speak out when they see this sort of behaviour the more people realise that it is not acceptable.

The amount of times I have seen horrible English parents in the Supermarket (I am English btw) screaming abuse at crying children and threatening a smack and not said anything because they look like they would hit me...I think what you did was brave and I with more people (myself included) would do the same. Imagine if she will hit her child in the face in public what she does at home. It’s very, very sad. I was smacked as a child and didn’t think much of it, but I can’t imagine a planet on which I would ever smack my son.

Sockwomble Indeed and I rather question the authenticity of the rest of the story.

I don't think I've seen any child in England be smacked for ages, I'm not sure where you are all shopping?

I was quite shocked by how many children we saw get a quick slap by a harassed parent when we were in France though.

You were right to stand up for the child, but wrong to be racist.

When saying we don’t do that here your underlying assumption was that In Europe, people smack their children.

The the only European countries where smacking or ‘justifiable chastisement’ is still legal are UK (excluding Scotland) Belgium, Italy, Slovakia, the Czech Republic and Switzerland.

Indeed and I rather question the authenticity of the rest of the story.

Why?

Smacking your own child is illegal in England and Wales if it is ‘unreasonably’ used. This could include causing (among other things) reddening of the skin, which a smack on the face probably would. There is huge pressure for the law to be changed to match Scotland and Ireland.

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/the-law-on-smacking-children/

Also age of the child is a factor when considering a prosecution.

Other cultures might do things differently but the comment was made from a viewpoint that our culture is superior and that the UK is enlightened. We do do that here! It isn't even illegal (Scotland I know blah blah).

I don't do it. I don't agree with it. I applaud your intervention and would have done the same. But we do do it. As a society. The OP is so obviously a xenophobe, come on. For me, where the woman was from wouldn't have even crossed my mind.

@Thefaceofboe Not defending the woman slapping her child. Just pointing out that parent shaming in public is also unacceptable. I have two wonderful children and I am the best Mum I can be to them. But every parent has low points, times when it's all getting on top of them. Perhaps OP could have asked the Mum in question if she needed some help, a cup of tea, a kind word to help her calm down instead of making a shitty situation even shittier

I’d have minded my own business until the smacking on the face and I’d have had something to say as well.
Your words weren’t chosen well but I’m guessing in the situation they came out clunkily? I haven’t RTFT though.

Perhaps OP could have asked the Mum in question if she needed some help, a cup of tea, a kind word to help her calm down instead of making a shitty situation even shittier

If you saw a man hitting a woman in public would you give him a cup of tea and some kind words?

@disneybee

Ffs “parent shaming” is something that people should do more of. People make such a meal out of parenting now it’s ridiculous. It’s difficult, yes. So difficult you need to slap your child? No. Offer her a cup of tea? 😂😂😂😂

@disneybee oh my god, a cup of tea? Are you okay? Hahahahahahahaha who in their right mind would want a cup of tea with someone who smacks about her child