To have confronted a mother smacking her child in public

[Roux95]

I was with OH in a clothes shop this afternoon looking for some bits. It was an extreme rarity for us to be child free so we were enjoying having a wander round without the double buggy!

When looking at some clothes I could hear a hysterical child having a tantrum, a hissing (parent i assume) and the sound of smacking. I looked around the racks I was browsing and sure enough a woman was knelt down at child height, hissing at the toddler to behave, smacked the child on the chest area and then went to smack the child's face but shot her hand down when she clocked that I was watching.

I was angered by what I saw and raised my voice at her to stop hitting the child, i told her we don't do that crap here (she was european - this is possibly not relevant but I know some cultures parent differently) and that her behaviour was disgusting and she should be ashamed and how would she like it if somebody her own size hit her.

This must have shocked the child as they stopped crying and the mother(?) sheepishly put the child into the pram rushed off.

OH was visibly embarrassed at being part of this confrontation but I think I was justified personally. In hindsight I think I could have said all of the above without raising my voice but my maternal instinct kicked in and I was furious for the child.

Was I being unreasonable for interesting? What would you have done?

No, thanks. It's very entertaining.

You did the right thing OP. In the he heat of the moment your choice of words was off but your actions were correct and right. No one should be hitting their child - there's no excuse.

@FourTeaFallOut your theorising makes no sense anyway - if someone is going to hit another person’s face, they first have to raise their hand away from the face before moving it forward again. If the OP intervened as they were raising their hand away from the victim’s face then of course they could have stopped. It’s not exactly rocket science.

OP, I think you did the right thing.

I don't agree with smacking kids don't get me wrong but the 'if you're husband did this it would be assault' argument is ridiculous and irrelevant
Parents need to DISCIPLINE their kids and that is the massive obvious difference

Also I don't see why we are excusing racism because op was acting in the heat of the moment. If I was being mugged by a Pakistani would I be justified in shouting the P word at them as I was stressed and not thinking straight? No it means you have underlying racist thoughts and should sort that shit out

what??

Parents need to DISCIPLINE their kids and that is the massive obvious difference

But hitting a child isn’t disciplining them - it’s abuse. Geez. How is it so hard for people to understand this?

@anothernamejeeves but I don't see how hitting a child is ok if hitting another adult isn't.

If you break the law the arresting officer isn't allowed to smack you in the face, nor is your solicitor, or the judge.

Surely you still need to be disciplined, so why can't they hit you to teach you a lesson?

You're being absurd.

There was thread on here the other day about someone hearing a neighbour hitting her child and as far as I remember the OP was told on the thread she hadn't called 999 quickly enough (she was wondering whether to call police or social services).

I think the OP did the right thing and was very brave to step in. If children are being abused in public in front of other adults and no-one says anything this sends the message that this is okay. And yes, I do consider it abuse.

Find me a social worker, health visitor, paediatrician etc in the UK that would define smacking a child in the face a "reasonable punishment".

The comment on her origin was out of line, but you were angry. Despite what some posters seem to think, that is not the key issue here. You ultimately did the right thing and I hope that I would also call it out. Though pp do have a point about what that childs lived experience was for the rest of the day.

Legal or not, hitting children is wrong, unjust and abusive. It's nothing more than a reflection on poor parenting skills even with the most difficult child in the world. I imagine that those who justify it would be straight to the police if an adult did the same to them (even though I'm sure it would be far more justified).

We do not hit children. We being decent, reasonable and evolved human beings.

Totally agree with @FourTeaFallOut re the about to hit the child in the face. If the mother was acting out of anger, it would be impossible for her to stop her fist mid-punch. Unless she was hitting in slow motion.
I think at least that part has been embellished for effect and, of course, to garner more "well done you" responses.

If the mother was acting out of anger, it would be impossible for her to stop her fist mid-punch. Unless she was hitting in slow motion.

Rubbish. To hit someone in the face you have to move your hand back before moving it forward. If the OP had shouted before she began moving her hand towards the child’s face then of course she could have stopped (and did).

Christ, the armchair detectives on this thread are embarrassing

Like I said I don't smack but people DO smack kids- to discipline them. You are not on the same level with your child they need discipline and consequences/boundaries regardless of whether you agree with
Smacking or not. Not the same at all for another adult

@anothernamejeeves so kids aren't people?
What would you do if a teacher smacked your child?
Or if they were having a play date and their friends dad smacked your child?

My example was of a time where you would need to be disciplined and you think that's completely different? It's not though, is it.

I remember once as a kid I slapped my mum in the face. She didn't ever hit me usually but on that occasion she slapped me right back, across the face.

If someone had heard but not seen my slap, they might think my mum was repeatedly beating me. I try not to judge other peoples' parenting without all of the information.

I am in Ireland where it is illegal to smack a child, and rightly so IMO. No child should be getting smacked or hit in any way by any adult as far as I am concerned as violence solves nothing so yes, I think you did the right thing.

That said you really should NEVER assume anyone is not from the country they are in no matter what. Saying what you did is culturally racist being honest.

Also to clarify, if you are british you are also European. Even if ye leave the EU you will still be European just fyi ;)

I think you’re awesome OP. 👏👏👏👏👏

Good for you to step in.

However “We don’t do that crap here” (& social services would very sadly disagree)... Urgh... did you add a “go back to your country” for good measure?

Signed: a European who doesn’t do that crap either.

You are BU for pointing out that she was European. Totally irrelevant.

You may not think what you said was racist but it really was. It was the first thing you thought to say, that does not reflect well on you at all.

It's hard to feel much sympathy for her because what she was doing was obviously bad, but I think you need to analyse what made you say it in this way.

I don't care what else you said to her. Well done you for stopping a child getting hit off the one person who they love and trust the most.

Absolutely disgusted by the minimising, condoning and outright advocacy of child abuse on this thread. If you read this story and are angrier about the OP's words to the mother than you are about the mother's abuse, you really need to examine your values. I feel sorry for the children of this country if you lot are part of the village raising them.

GreenTulips:

It is wrong though, people have children removed for less than I witnessed today. The poor child

How do you work that out?

2 blonde children were removed from their Roma families in Ireland because the authorities believed they couldn't be their children. 🤷🏻‍♀️

www.thejournal.ie/roma-children-garda-arrest-2129957-May2015/