To think that people only think newborns are harder because they are new?

[Hugtheduggee]

There are so often posts talking about how 'it gets easier' when babies are older, about how difficult newborns are etc, but I'm starting to think in general (exceptions for poorly children, allergies, colic etc) that this sentiment is more about trying to be empathic, about the learning curve of having a baby etc, than being accurate.

I mean, newborns sleep a lot, have low entertainment demands, eat a single type of food, and can't get upto mischief.

An older baby may well sleep just as badly, but less naps in the day, requires entertaining, wants to kill themselves, tried to get up and falls over loads, and if you turn your back, will be trying to pull up on the bin or something.

And then they start talking back, and having attitude etc (as well as many positive things) as toddlers. And many still don't sleep well, and now don't even nap in the day. And you're often juggling work.

Obviously I don't think we should say to a mum who is struggling with a newborn that it's going to get worse, but that's the reality for a lot of us right? That we might get better at the juggling, and more efficient at multi tasking, and learn to live on less sleep, but in terms of how demanding they get, the newborn bit can be pretty easy comparatively.

(I'm a mum of a toddler who took an hour to go to bed, and woke 4 times in the night, including one long wake up, and an older baby who woke up 3 times, and who works)

My youngest is 30 perfect 👌

I agree with OP newborn stage is certainly easiest and I say that with DD who didn't sleep very well (two to three hours sleep maximum then waking up) She's now three and has so much energy!

So depends on you child. 40 mins sleep at a time maybe 4 times a day for months left me not in a good state at all. But feeding was problematic for medical reasons. Second was very different experience.

For my money YABU. It’s quite dull with a newborn, and it’s like being a Neanderthal, it’s all about basic survival.
Much easier even they start to emerge.

Babies are only easy if you have easy babies.
Dd1 would scream until she was blue in the face (literally) and sick in the time it took to make a sandwich. She couldn't be put down ever. Woke every 2 hours throughout the night till she was over a year old.

Toddlers are fun, mischievous and full of wonder for the world around. You give so much more but you get so much more back.

God no. Mine would only sleep on me and screamed whenever they were awake. Hardly slept at night, they were appaling. Much better when they could eat solids and play with toys. Deffo not newness. That new born cry is like nails on a blackboard. Shudder.

I mean, newborns sleep a lot, have low entertainment demands, eat a single type of food, and can't get upto mischief

Hahahaha!!! Ah, the textbook baby! Yeah, I didn't get one of those...

WanderingRaspberry yours sounds like mine. I still go all shaky when I hear a newborn cry.

Nothing has been remotely as awful as the first 4 months with DC1. She was a really difficult toddler and pre schooler too (and still slept badly) but all so much easier than the horrific newborn stage.

The few weeks after my babies were born, I had properly straightened hair, makeup, the lot.

good for you

I am sure that's exactly what is on the mind of ALL mothers of newborn, especially when they had horrific births, non sleeping babies and cannot wait to waste their time putting on make-up and washing their face at night. And who doesn't like to have an afternoon nap with a face full of make up...

My newborn cried pretty much all day every day for three months solid. He is much easier as an argumentative, annoying 6YO.

^😂
I'm getting a shower at some point most days, but no make up and hair is not straightened.

My baby has finally fallen asleep in my arms. Wish me luck putting him into his cot and getting an hours sleep

I think the whole first year or so is the hardest, depending on sleep and how happy your baby is to entertain themselves. Having a small baby who feeds all the time and won’t sleep is utterly draining, and especially with BF babies there is the issue that you physically can not pass any of the tasks on to anyone else, it’s so constant and inescapable it can be overwhelming. I found DS much easier when he hit 3 months as he slept and was happy to sit on his own, DD was a challenge until 11 months as she wouldn’t sleep and wanted to be carried all the time. I think it varies. None of it is easy!

The best advice a stranger ever gave me when I was struggling with a newborn was "it doesn't exactly get easier, you just get better at coping". I have absolutely found this to be true. Due my second in a couple of weeks and hoping to cope better and enjoy the newborn stage this time.

I agree. I remember with my second baby when she was about 4 weeks old something clicked in my head -"she's a baby this is normal" and I felt much more relaxed after that.

My newborn was horrendous, luckily he was an amazing sleeper at night BUT only if I held him, so he slept in my arms for the first six months, he had reflux and colic and would scream and scream for 5-6hrs non stop every single evening, he hated baths, hated baby group and absolutely wouldn't be put down even for a second. It nearly killed me and I had severe PND.
As a toddler he's bloody gorgeous and amazing, he's hard work and tantrums and he's still in my bed but he's so funny, always smiling, so loving and just a joy to be with.

Try having a 8 year old who has the strength of Godzilla when they’re having a meltdown.. every.single.day.

I've had three of those - sending my sympathies your way!

I actually think 8 years old was the second most difficult stage after newborn. Mine were lovely at most other ages, but for some reason at 8 they were monsters.

With my kids newborn was the easy part. Toddler stage is not

I think a lot of it is adjusting to the change in lifestyle but mainly depends on the baby and the parent doesn't it. Dc1 was a very challenging baby and never slept a wink, screamed and fussed for most of the day, very refluxy. I couldn't say I was bored for one single second. Lonely, yes. Exhausted, yes. Never bored.

They went through other very difficult stages, and couldn't really say the toddler stage was a walk in the park either but nothing ever felt as hard as those first six months.

As the parent of grown up children and a grandmother. I think the newborn stage is the easiest. Having said that I found my first baby very difficult even though looking back they really weren't I agree it's the shock and newness of it all that makes it seem hard.
I found the hardest time was when they were late teens. They have to make their own decisions but you worry about them just as much, and you have much less( no) control. At least you know where your baby is all the time!

I have four children and I always found the newborn stage the easiest part! Once they are mobile it's a whole different ball game 😂

I didn't like the newborn stage. I found breastfeeding impossibly hard and painful and had terrible supply problems, but the rest of the time I was just bored out of my mind. I even had an easy baby, but Jesus it's so monotonous and dull until they start smiling and interacting. I felt like my brain was rotting.

He's 7 months old now and so much fun. Wish I could take my maternity leave now TBH.

I found the first few weeks of my eldest’s life the most draining, exhausting period of my life. He’s 23 now, and wasn’t even what most people would class as a difficult baby. The younger was an absolute dream.
Teenage years? A few hiccups but nothing so relentless as those first few weeks.

Why?...because different kids are ‘different’.

I found newborn very easy compared to when DS has been mobile. I still got the same sleep except I had to play and entertain him all day versus just sitting on the sofa breastfeeding and watching Netflix. I didn't find him boring at all, I'm more bored by the repetitive games at 12 months

I’m with you op, my newborn dd was a breeze. Sleep and feed. Now she’s 2 it’s so much harder. I sometimes wish she was a newborn again as like I said it’s was so much easier