To be a bit peeved by what DH said....

[Kiwiorange]

So this isn’t a first world problem I totally realise this and it’s mainly light hearted although part of me was a bit annoyed...

So DH has been around the block in younger days. Slow with about 50ish women. That was a problem for me at first but not I’m indifferent as I’ve got far bigger things to be worrying about in life.

Noe I’m a bit OTT and even as a kid I couldn’t drink from a can that someone else had drank from (I still can’t now) as I dont like the thought of someone’s saliva being in it.

As a teenager I wouldn’t kiss ransoms for the sake of it as I found it gross. Don’t get me wrong if I really fancied them I would but not just for the sake of it.

So DH normally showers as he thinks baths are full of your own dirt which is fair perhaps. Showers broken so I had a bath and it was taking ages to drain so I said to DH would he mind if I left done of my bath water (I’d just got out) and topped it up with hot.

He made a joking comment but he was serious and I thought you cheeky sod!! You’ve shared bodily fluids with more women than I care to image, yet you’re a bit grossed out by popping in the bath where I have used some of the bath water?!!

I mean, have I gut a valid point to be miffed/hurt?!

Eh????

The number of sexual partners is completely irrelevant.

But then you go on to talk about how you wouldn't share a can of drink with someone because you don't like the idea of their saliva on it and you wouldn't kiss randoms (presumably for the same reason).

But you don't understand why you DH might not want to bath in the water you have used? He doesn't like sitting in his own bath water never mind yours.

Bizarre thread.

Actually my first thought was... if you are ‘a bit OTT’ about cleanliness, why don’t you clean your drains? Then it won’t take so long for your bath to drain

You really need to stop bringing up your husbands past sexual history, if you were a man doing this to his wife, it would be classed as"slut shaming"

Not just slut shaming. I saw this bringing up past partners in here quite a few times when women were describing the abuse they were subjected to...

Can you actually imagine this thread in reverse?

"I slept with 20 men before marrying DH. He had a bath tonight and said that I shouldn't object to bathing in his dirty water since I'd had sex with so many men in the past."

Urgh I wouldn’t want someone else’s dirty bath water!

Jesus wept, you can’t even post what sobs would perceive as a light hearted thread in the grand scheme of things, without someone having something to say about ‘abuse’ ‘slut shaming’ and the like.

The thing is... he has no clue whatsoever this could potentially bother me. So don’t worry, he’s most definitely not bothered by it. He’s not forced to stay with me, although I’m sure I get on his tits at times!

Honest to go, you can’t say out without someone going to the extreme.

Aside from that, yes it is quite funny and I agree with people thinking I’m OTT. Again DH has zero idea!

@ForInstance

😂 it’s the Bludy drains fault this thread appeared! You’re right though, I should have cleaned them out....

😂 it’s the Bludy drains fault this thread appeared! You’re right though, I should have cleaned them out....

Don't you clean out your drains twice a day like every self-respecting Mumsnetter does? So unhygienic...

Ah okay. It's one of those threads.

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes
OP: I WAS ONLY JOKING. Jeeeeez you lot sometimes...etc.

I know you said it was 'mainly lighthearted' but I do understand why people didn't read it quite with the same levity that you intended.

Would you use bath water the same way OP if your DH bathed beforehand and suggested it to you? I wouldn’t.
It’s got nothing to do with previous partners whatsoever.

Yep. Using someone else’s bath water is nasty. Doesn’t matter who it is.

I agree with PPs who said need to get over the fact that your husband had sex before meeting you. You say he has no idea how you feel, but your resentment may be coming out in ways you don’t realise.

I've slept with absolutely boat loads of men and women and sharing bath water is just gross.

i most certainly would not get into dh's bath water

but that is entirely cos he is a weirdo and bathes in luke warm water.

I wasted a goodly amount of money refitting our bathroom with a double ended bath and he simply cannot get in it with me as "it's too hot"

Oh dear.

I’ve shagged lots of people. I’ve shared many baths or got in the water after someone got out. I’ve even borrowed other people’s toothbrushes.

I’m fairly disgusting.

I do wonder why you married your DH if you’re that bothered about his past.

@Popc0rn
fail to see what the number of women he's slept with has to do with sharing bath water tbh
This, I mean WTF? There's way too many issues going on in your OP to formulate a coherent response!

No sorry op you’re clutching at straws. There’s no connection there. Are you saying because he had fun in his younger years he has to always be ok to accept your bolide fluids??? There’s no connection! Who is in a club about to pull and consciously thinks mmm yummy stranger bloody fluids??? And who is about to get in a bath to get clean and thinks my daily diet reminds me of all those strange women’s bodily fluids from years ago?!!! Don’t make this about something it’s not.

Surely someone sleeping around to that degree is not actually 'exchanging bodily fluids', anyone with any sense would be using condoms!

I'd never get in someone else's Grimey water. Even if they weren't visibly Dirty when you wash you was off dead skin.
Sorry but I agree with him.

I wouldn't even get in after dh.. And we share bodily fluids that's a weird way to look at things

Bodily fluids are a bit different than bathscum, sorry OP. YABU.

Why were you running his bath?

Your DH doesn't want to soak in his own bath water let alone someone elses, so i think it was inconsiderate of you to suggest he use your bath water. His past sexual encounters are irrelevent and you need to get over it.

I'm attracted to women, love them in fact. Find the vagina beautiful and am quite partial to preforming oral sex on my girlfriend.

I have never been attracted to bath water.

See the difference?

If your bath is taking ages to drain I would recommend calling a plumber instead of getting het up over who your DH shagged before he met you.

It’s not a light hearted thread though - you clearly have major issues around him having had sex with more women than you have men.

Pretty sure he is aware, by the way.

Presumably he showered after grinding up and down against all these rangefinders, totally different to bathing in dirty water regardless of what that water is dirty with

Isn't having a bath together a standard couple thing? So when you're doing that your dead skin cells float around and you touch them OMG