To be a bit peeved by what DH said....

[Kiwiorange]

So this isn’t a first world problem I totally realise this and it’s mainly light hearted although part of me was a bit annoyed...

So DH has been around the block in younger days. Slow with about 50ish women. That was a problem for me at first but not I’m indifferent as I’ve got far bigger things to be worrying about in life.

Noe I’m a bit OTT and even as a kid I couldn’t drink from a can that someone else had drank from (I still can’t now) as I dont like the thought of someone’s saliva being in it.

As a teenager I wouldn’t kiss ransoms for the sake of it as I found it gross. Don’t get me wrong if I really fancied them I would but not just for the sake of it.

So DH normally showers as he thinks baths are full of your own dirt which is fair perhaps. Showers broken so I had a bath and it was taking ages to drain so I said to DH would he mind if I left done of my bath water (I’d just got out) and topped it up with hot.

He made a joking comment but he was serious and I thought you cheeky sod!! You’ve shared bodily fluids with more women than I care to image, yet you’re a bit grossed out by popping in the bath where I have used some of the bath water?!!

I mean, have I gut a valid point to be miffed/hurt?!

Lol some of the responses made me chuckle.

I see what you mean about the point of sex is gratification not to get clean and yes I suppose he did shower afterwards.

Bathing is to get clean. Or not as some would say.

Is 50 even that many?

But it hasn’t ‘come up’, as the two things are unrelated. It has come up because you still have an issue with it.

This. Sex is about getting dirty. Baths are to get clean.

Baths and sex just don't equate (can go together, but don't really equate). Yes, I'll share bodily fluids with someone whilst having sex, that's all fun and fine. But if I want a wash, I have a shower or bath, preferably the former.

I have no idea how many former partners my OH has and he doesn't know my number either. It doesn't matter. We're faithful to each other, and that's what counts.

You've really not made peace with it at all have you OP?!

Why do you and your DH even know how many sexual partners you had before each other?!

Well my husband kisses me but he won’t drink from the same glass as me or anyone else for that matter , is just a thing he cannot do and I’m not insulted or offended by it , never thought comparing it with the number of bodily fluids exchanges he had 20 years ago 😂 unrelated matters and you need to get over the “ 50 women “ , not sure how long you’ve been married but if is still so persistent in your head that you compare it to bathing in the same water , you have a problem.

You really need to stop bringing up your husbands past sexual history, if you were a man doing this to his wife, it would be classed as"slut shaming".

As an aside, if your bath is draining slowly, pop some hot water down it, then some baking soda and vinegar, leave it for an hour then rinse with hot water again. Does wonders!

Fucking hell OP, the two aren’t even related. You’ve made a big issue about something that is a total non-issue. Leave you DP alone, he is perfectly reasonable to not want to share your dirty bath water regardless of how many people he slept with I the past.

I feel sad that you have such a dirty/ unpleasant view of sex, and that you judge your own DH who has done absolutely nothing wrong

You really do have a rather prurient and unhealthy fixation on your husband's previous sexual encounters. That's not normal, or healthy, or appropriate.

he didnt compare it though to him they are entirely separate things. For him he doesnt like having baths and doesnt like sharing bath water.

Your logic is somewhat lacking op, I’ve not slept with 50 people but it’s more than 20. There’s no way I’d want to get in someone’s manky old bath water, or use their toothbrush or even their hairbrush ideally! The 2 things are not at all the same.

There’s a difference between a man putting his dick in a woman , and sharing bath tub water 😂 my husband certainly wouldn’t share my bath water and same goes for me !

I see where you're coming from but the two are very different.

Obviously, providing you don't catch anything, one shower and the last sexual conquest is washed away! PROVIDED the bath water is clean, ykwim?

My sister won't let me drink her can of juice as she doesn't like it, but will ask for a drink of mine! As a teenager I would say no because if she is too clean to share hers then she cant accept mine.

I think dh was prob mentioning because you would never share someone's bath water yet you would offer it to him.

Carry on acting like this OP and he’ll probably be sleeping with a lot more women

Seriously if my DH would still after YEARS of being together made comments about my former sexual partners, HE would also be a former sexual partner... I don't need someone's insecurities trying to bring me down

Did you expect him to be a virgin OP? I don't see how the two are related. I love DP to pieces but I wouldn't get in his bath, he has fluff from his socks floating around and he stews in there that long i'm suprised he's got any skin left!

''You really do have a rather prurient and unhealthy fixation on your husband's previous sexual encounters. That's not normal, or healthy, or appropriate.''

Omg. What armchair waffle @BaolFan I have to laugh at your post, ha ha, you really are doing your level best to sound like a therapist giving a diagnosis and failing

You really need to stop bringing up your husbands past sexual history, if you were a man doing this to his wife, it would be classed as"slut shaming"

I hate that phrase, but absolutely agree with this point^^

OP, you just can't keep throwing someone's sexual history at them like this. It's wrong, it really is. And obviously nothing to do with bath water.

You are asking him to submerge his entire body in a body of water that may contain your feacal matter/dead skin cells etc because he once dipped his dick in to other women's vaginal secretions?

It's like a sort of punishment for all the trips around that block

Mumsnet at its best. Thanks for the laugh OP.

(YABU btw)

I have had a lot of sexual partners.
If I get out of the bath to use to loo, I sometimes look back at my own bath water and think, “well that looks uninviting”.

You have issues.
It’s really sad that you are linking sex and cleanliness in this way.

YABVU!

You are being absolutely ridiculous.

I wouldnt want to bathe in my H'd old bath water either. It has nothing whatsoever to do with his sex life prior to me.

The only time having a bath and sex are related are if you're having sex in the bath which I wouldn't recommend, it's hard to get comfortable and the bathroom floor gets soaked.

It sounds like you think sex is dirty and not in a good way. But also, would you want to get into the bath with his bathwater? Do you feel that because he had an active sex life before he met you he now has to bath in your water as some sort of punishment for daring to have a good time before he met you, the woman he wanted to settle down with? How do you know how many women he's slept with? Did you ask him or did he tell you? Personally I neither want to know how many people a partner has slept with or for them to know my "number".

Seriously if my DH would still after YEARS of being together made comments about my former sexual partners, HE would also be a former sexual partner... I don't need someone's insecurities trying to bring me down

Totally agree 100%