WiFi off at 9.30 pm. Worst parent ever?

[Notsureabouthis]

Because my children think I am! 🤨

They are 17,14 and 13. Glued to their phones.

Trying to get a bit of balance/a better nighttime regime. They have books/audio books... also fairly generous data so the eldest can still Snapchat etc...just not stream YouTube.

He looked at me like he really hated me tonight.😞

AIBU? Apparently no one else’s parents limit WiFi?!

I wouldn't expect to limit a 17 year old's Wi-FI. He's almost an adult and 9:30 is ridiculous.

@ChangeInTime even when he needs to be up at 6.30am? Is doing his A Levels and is shattered at lot of the time? He won’t self moderate. Just trying to do my best here.

Given that the advice is not to use phones, iPads etc. for at least 45 mins before bed that sounds a sensible way of trying to make sure your kids get a good nights sleep. My 12 year old’s phone is set so it’s in downtime mode from 8pm to 7.30am. Apparently I am super-mean.

Hmm - I was all saying for YABU, but it's not as straight cut as that if you've got a 17 year old, they're a bit older!
I say this as I have a nearly 17 year old and can't really limit his wifi anymore (occasionally change the password for a few days if he really is being an arse) but at that age they have to try and limit themselves.
On the other hand I do limit the nearly 13 year olds - he's allowed his phone until 8pm max when I take it away and he's allowed to watch a telly programme or read a book until 9 when he goes to bed.
Maybe that's harsh to some? Don't care if so lol

Not sure your 17 year old should be banned from daytime wifi , particularly as his/her homework might need to be sent wirelessly.
As to your younger children.. are you trying to shut the stable door after the horses have bolted?

Yes even then. He needs to learn to moderate himself. Mummy can't do it forever. He has to bear the consequences and to be honest it's amazing how little sleep some teens can get by on. You're treating like him like a preteen not someone who is almost an adult.

@ChangeInTime even when he needs to be up at 6.30am? Is doing his A Levels and is shattered at lot of the time? He won’t self moderate. Just trying to do my best here.

Not change obvs, but I hear you - mine's at college too and drives me mad when he refuses to go to bed as he's still glued to the damn phone until stupid o clock - but what do you do at that age, can hardly force them?
If he's still on it at midnight I switch it off most nights, but can hardly force him to go to bed even if it's off.
Have to keep telling myself it's his lookout if he's knackered the next day lol, not mine

sorry, completely ballsed up that quote

Don't you want to use the wifi?

@1Moreeoneplease

No homework going on after 9.30pm!

Nope to the latter too-just recognising an issue and dealing with it. Don’t think the horse has bolted yet! Anyway, it’s never too late to change habits surely? The middle one used to listen to an audiobook in bed but I was suspicious that he was actually on YouTube as the book took forever! 🤪

Ours is turned off at 10 (14yo and 15yo). The 15yo still has his phone but the younger one would be creeping out of bed to go on chatting. Glad I'm not the only worst parent in the world.

@WooMaWang yes! I may regret this 😂

@WooMaWang although maybe I need to get into better habits too 🤔

Would leaving phones downstairs at bedtime not be easier

Wish you were my mum, I'm on my phone way too late!

I think you’re completely in the right. Of course you can limit a 17 year olds WiFi access.

@kittykatkitty yes maybe but he’d just go on his phone until 10.30/11 then go straight to bed. I’m just trying to get him to have a bit of downtime in between.

Do you still brush his teeth for him too?

Sorry but for the 17 year old I think you have to let go. Agree for the younger ones though. Mine are now 21 and 18. 18 year old was never any problem with turning it off and going to sleep at a sensible time, 21 year old was but always got up for school /college /work.

They have to do it for themselves at some point.

Of course it's fine, not ridiculous at sll. There's more to life than being on your phone!

I think you’re completely in the right. Of course you can limit a 17 year olds WiFi access.

Well you can yes, but that doesn't mean it's right. It's utterly ridiculous to treat a 17 year old like a 12 year old. And 9:30? That's still early for a near adult.

Just reread and he does have access to snapchat . I think you are doing a good thing, its hardly mean to reduce his access to You tube!

@ChangeInTime no need to be bitchy - you’ve made your point.

YANBU, Wi-fi goes off at 9.30 in our house too. DD is 16.

My 17 yo doesn't even get home until after 10 so that definitely wouldn't work Also,I'm not turning off my wifi because of the inconvenience to me and my dh.