WiFi off at 9.30 pm. Worst parent ever?

[Notsureabouthis]

Because my children think I am! 🤨

They are 17,14 and 13. Glued to their phones.

Trying to get a bit of balance/a better nighttime regime. They have books/audio books... also fairly generous data so the eldest can still Snapchat etc...just not stream YouTube.

He looked at me like he really hated me tonight.😞

AIBU? Apparently no one else’s parents limit WiFi?!

@BohoBunney

That’s helpful, thank you. I’m going to chat some more with him about it.

He’s having a gap year which should help.

Wi-Fi goes off at 10:30 every night in our house. My husband and I tend to go to bed around that time so we there was no point having it on. Our children are used to it so never comment but they are 11 and 13 so they may moan when they're older.
Surely until your child is paying rent / living away from home it's your house, your rules. By the time your son moves out he may just be used to settling down at that time and do so automatically.

Well, should we always let 17 year olds do whatever they like so that they learn to control themselves by the time they go to university?

Most adults didn't grow up with wifi or the internet and they still manage to control their usage now. Growing up in the 80s I never heard of 17 year olds who were allowed to have unlimited use of the house phone through the night. Nobody thought their parents were "controlling ".

What if these children don't learn to self regulate and then fail exams and fail to achieve anything. What then? Would you not think you could have done more to help them during their immature years of making poor choices or would you just accept that's how the cookie crumbles?.

YABU and a control freak re your 17 yr old

My ds is 13 - phone is taken downstairs to charge at 930 on school nights. I am the meanest out of all his friends mums apparently...

OMG what kind of mother would force children to think for themselves and solve heir own problems for a few hours a day? Obviously a mean mean mean mommy

I find this thread entirely bizarre. You can't turn off WiFi for a 17 year old because they're practically an adult (apparently) but every other thread where someone with a 20 year old in university is told they're still a child and should be coddled for everything.

@Drizzzle
Good point.
The flipping rules I grew up with and just accepted.
Not to mind the bloody church and it's rules.

Knowing that your busy children need sleep and wanting to facilitate it is fine by me.

Ours off point is 10pm and will remain so.

I encourage my children to do well, succeed so that they may have the joy of making their own rules for their lives in their home. Just like I did.

Billy - our DCs have plenty of rules of course but we encourage them to learn how to be independent also, that includes them learning how much sleep they need, how to manage their time themselves etc. they will make mistakes.

We are going through an issue with Ds1 13 who keeps missing homework or is leaving it till last minute, we have encouraged him to organise himself but he is slacking so we have resulted to banning all devices till it's done for a short time. We will not let him fail at this age but he has not sorted it himself so we are stepping in. Hopefully he will learn that studying little and often means it impacts less on his daily device usage and life will be easier etc.

We have given him independence, up until recently he has always come straight in done homework etc but this last couple of months he hasn't so we step in, its nothing dramatic but all part of the learning curve for him.

If we micro managed him then suddenly at 18 expected him to not rebel I think we would be naive.

It doesnt mean our way is right or wrong and it doesnt suit everyone but it generally works for us and we are confident it is the best thing for our Dcs.

On our router we can set times for when the wifi goes off and comes on again, so my teenagers devices are limited too.
17yo- 12am but 11pm if he has college the next day, 16 and 15yo 9:30pm and 12yo 8:30pm. Don't worry OP, all teenagers hate their parents at this age, you're doing an amazing job! 💐

There are some serious failures on logic on this thread. How on earth is slightly limiting the use of a luxury, non essential service paid for by the parents mollycoddling your child? If he's so grown up he can sort himself out. That's what learning to be an adult is all about.

What a load of shit. No wonder so many kids are growing up to be spoilt and entitled.

I don't think its the limiting the wifi most people have an issue with, its more the fact that 17 or 18 yos are unable to get themselves to bed at a reasonable time that is a problem. Kids that are babied by parents are the ones that end up entitled etc not those who learn independence from a young age.

No one is entitled to wifi, if I decided to turn it off then that's my decision however I still wont be telling my adult children they need to be in bed at a particular time or cant watch tv etc.

Ours goes off at 10.30pm Mon - Thursday and Sunday evening. 11pm Fri and Sat.
We have three kids, the two eldest are 17 and 15.
They hate me, and complain about it all the time.
If they are rude then they lose their phones too.
They don't pay any bills so have to live by our rules

I dont understand why the wifi is turned off though? Is it so they go to sleep when you say?

@Glitterfisher RTFT

Erm if you had RTFT you'd know I have been on it throughout. I don't really understand turning the wifi off though not if they still have their phones with data. Not sure what it achieves.

It's sad so many kids/young adults are so sneaky and untrustworthy.

Stick to your guns op. You are doing the right thing, I do the same with my 13 year old. There's an article on the BBC site just today and it recommends not going on phones at night. Practically all my dd's friends that do stay on it all night have mental health problems. That is the honest truth.

In saying that maybe the 17 year old needs to learn to self regulate and have some phone privileges that the younger ones don't have. I think I would let a kid of that age sort themselves out.

@ThebishopofBanterbury totally, I can't understand the posters treating the 13yos same as 17yos. I know things are different but I was at college, working plus going out etc and generally planning my life. At 13 I was a child but given a reasonable amount of responsibility as well as guidance when I got things wrong.

At 17 I was writing essays at 4am the day they were due in! (Straight A student who worked better under pressure - now have a job with tight deadlines and love it but drove my mum insane). Limiting WiFi for a 17 yo is nuts. We have phone free time 5.30-7pm in our house to ensure a block of family time. It can be flexible but dd doesn't actually challenge it. We also have a phones downstairs rule so they all go on a docking station before bed.

Sorry obv at 13 I was a child, that should say I was treated as a child of that age . . .