WiFi off at 9.30 pm. Worst parent ever?

[Notsureabouthis]

Because my children think I am! 🤨

They are 17,14 and 13. Glued to their phones.

Trying to get a bit of balance/a better nighttime regime. They have books/audio books... also fairly generous data so the eldest can still Snapchat etc...just not stream YouTube.

He looked at me like he really hated me tonight.😞

AIBU? Apparently no one else’s parents limit WiFi?!

Thanks all. Mixed responses. Sums up how I feel too. I know he needs to learn to self regulate but he doesn’t. I’m worried for his A levels.

Surely they'll just use mobile data on their phones but potentially run up big bills if there is only a set amount given with their phone package. I'd rather keep the wifi on and ask for devices to be left to charge in a communal area of the house

@blackcat86 - no the packages they’re on all cut off once they finish their data allowance

No phone access from 10pm for my 15 year old. Not sure I will get away with it when she is 17 but if she potentially messes up her studies etc when the time comes I will enforce some boundaries. He/she will thank you for it in the long run.

It's the same principle. You are treating him like a child or young teen, not someone who is practically a grown man. It's a common phenomenon on MN though. People won't allow 12 year olds to take a bus, go to the shops or walk to school then wonder why their 18 year old can do so little to take care of themselves. He will never learn to self regulate if you keep holding his hand.

10pm here on school nights 15 yo 14yo

9pm for 11yo 9 yo

Weekends/holidays I don’t restrict access. My best friend makes her kids put phones on kitchen bench at 8pm (14yo, 13 yo) I think that’s a wee bit harsh

He/she will thank you for it in the long run.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. I certainly wasn't. I'm still not, much as I love my parents I didn't appreciate being patronised.

I am really shocked that anyone thinks this is ok for a 17 yo. I was at college, working till way later than 930pm plus doing the usual 17yo stuff like going clubbing etc. Surely even if you went to bed late at 17 you could still get up at 630 and crack on with whatever, you would just go to sleep earlier the next night, it won't hurt.

My 13 yo self regulates and I would never need to switch off the wi-fi for him but I appreciate some kids of that age would take the piss, I do think from that age they do need to be learning self regulation though so that at 17 their mums don't need to turn off the wi-fi.

YA definitely being U. You cant regulate a 17 year olds internet.

And you need to be more flexible with your other teenagers as well.

10pm off wifi here, they can waste their data allowance if they can't live without contact after 10pm.
Wifi goes off initially at 8:30pm for the

But the 17 year old isn't acting like an adult if he's too tired to do what he needs to do the next day, so op must treat him like a child. If he was mature enough to self regulate then fine.

You shouldn't treat the 17 year old the same as the younger ones.
He is being treated like a child not a young man.
No wonder he is annoyed with you.
He will never learn.
Teens survive on little sleep

Sounds reasonable to me.

YABU for the 17 year old.

I did the same.She is 16 now and self regulates,it now goes off at 10.30 because I keep coming on here at night!

@HugeAckmansWife but has he been allowed to make his own mistakes? Of course he may be tired at times, aren't we all, but you learn to manage this and have early nights when need be etc, this doesn't necessarily happen overnight, when will they learn if treated like a young child?

I'm a much crueler parent! All the devices in our house have individual Wi-fi times allocated to them. The 18yo has Wi-fi to phone until 10pm but to laptop only until 9 so that homework is done at a reasonable hour and he can't stream Netflix late at night. He still has lots of data so tends to use that to read articles and stuff in bed before sleeping. And often gets up early to do homework so has Wi-fi from 6am.

The 16yo has Wi-fi to laptop and iPad til 8pm and phone until 9. and PS4 is currently disabled due to poor behaviour he has loads of time between school and then for homework and YouTube videos and again has lots of data for Snapchat even after I've told him to go to sleep.

Also they are both free to watch tv in the living room any time they like but that's not cool

DH doesn't know the current Wi-fi password so they can't sweet talk him either

NHS guidelines state a minimum of 8/9 hours sleep for younger teens so it really isn't as much as people try to make out. For 14-17 year olds the appropriate sleep hours are apparently 7-11 hrs so it really varies based on the individual

For an 18 year old? Fuck me. That's just batshit. Talk about smothering someone to death. I'd say cut the apron strings Terfin but I fear that they're so deeply embedded that even a surgeon couldn't remove them.

But when they leave home noone is going to switch off their WIFI at 9.30. It is better ime to help them develop skills to moderate themselves - it takes more effort than just switching off the WIFI but it's better imo. It is better to start when they are younger so probably harder if at 17 your DC hasn't learned it but I'd still encourage it. By the way this isn't a dig as I'm sure like all of us you are doing your best but I just think teaching these skills is so important.

He's living under your roof, so he lives under your rules.
I wouldn't do it, but whatever works for you.

@Terfin are you joking? Do you actually limit your adult child's wi-fi? I have literally heard it all now.

Surely if they have data it's irrelevant whether they have wi-fi or not for most stuff but can't believe your 18 yo can't watch netflix etc whenever they want.

@Notsureabouthis NO. BEST PARENT EVER. STICK TO YOUR GUNS

OP, friends of mine that are teachers often remark that tiredness is a real problem in schools from unsupervised late night access to phones.

You cannot learn if you are exhausted from being on your phone half the night.

I certainly wouldn't apologize to my children for wanting to insure they get a good nights rest.

Rest during important exam years is critical if they are to do well.

Stick to your guns.

It is very difficult to self regulate if it's going off constantly.

YANBU. Your house/your wi fi /your rules !
Going to bed approx 10pm and getting up at 6/6.30 is a healthy routine. I personally would be tired if I went to bed any later, especially if had been using screens