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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to cover builders bum

132 replies

EurghRedface · 12/01/2020 22:20

My husband embarrasses me because he refuses to pull up his trousers to hide his builders bum. Approximately 5-7inches of solid crack multiple times a day.

It's been like this since day on of relationship. I ask and he pretends to or pulls his shirt over instead. He has no shame, he doesn't go red or anything. When we have guests they've had to look away in embarrassment also. My family and his have called him out on it. Our kids too.

He says weight and low balls is why he can't pull up his trousers more. Other times he says he has done it or has he hands full or CBA.

Naked he has no bum. No they probably just slide down.

It's really giving me the Ick.

Aibu to expect him to cover it?

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 13/01/2020 07:53

@EurghRedface to upload it to social media would be plain nasty

Equanimitas · 13/01/2020 07:56

Stop shaving. As soon as he complains, tell him you'll restart as soon as he's gone a month without showing any builders' cleavage. And will stop again if there is any deterioration on his part.

CakeandCustard28 · 13/01/2020 08:01

Lovely... 🤮 I saw a mans Hairy bum crack while shopping once, litteratly walked around the shop showing his bum to everyone children and all. 🤢 I was nearly sick at the site. Not the same man is it? 😂
Honestly though I’d stop with his requests and when he askes why you should say if you can’t even be bothered to cover your bum, then I can’t be bothered either. See what he does then.

Shodan · 13/01/2020 08:05

Stop shaving. As soon as he complains, tell him you'll restart as soon as he's gone a month without showing any builders' cleavage. And will stop again if there is any deterioration on his part.

I second this. No-one wants to see bum crack.

I remember, back in the days when very low-hip jeans were de rigueur and my stomach was flat enough to wear them, crouching down used to show bum crack. My mother used to offer to stick a daffodil in it. Could be quite fetching and also make the area a bit more fragrant.

FoamingAtTheUterus · 13/01/2020 08:06

Uploading it to social media would be nasty......... Making him a collage and using it as your TV screen saver would be a better option. Grin

PhoneLock · 13/01/2020 08:07

Put an apron on him back to front, cover it all up.

Or a long cape. Like a batman.

FagAsh · 13/01/2020 08:07

Diet time I think!
That will solve it

Nothing worse than this, I had a BF like this once, he was dumped fairly quickly..

Original poster
EurghRedface · 13/01/2020 08:07

Honestly Cake, at this point I think he probably would shrug his shoulders and say "ok fair enough" turn around a walk off with his damn butt crack out!!

Could well be the same person. Me and the kids have walked off on him before in town for "exposing himself".

After reading the threads about men who like others to know they've pooped, I've accused him of being the equivalent, only with arse cracks. He just laughs! No shame no nothing.

Crack doesn't smell, tbh he is very hygienic lol

OP posts:
Original poster
EurghRedface · 13/01/2020 08:08

@FoamingAtTheUterus yes!!!!!!! I love that idea!!!!

OP posts:
ThePants999 · 13/01/2020 08:09

Erm... Seven inches? Are you sure? You realise that's basically his entire arse, right? As in, if you could see seven inches of crack, you'd practically be able to see thigh as well?

Original poster
EurghRedface · 13/01/2020 08:10

We are both dieting, got him a fit bit and he is going to the gym. So hopefully that will aid the situation

OP posts:
SophieSong · 13/01/2020 08:11

Just stop shaving to his specifications - especially the armpit hair if he doesn't like it. Say you'll start again once he sorts out his builders bum!

Original poster
EurghRedface · 13/01/2020 08:11

@ThePants999 yes. I'm fully aware. It's not just "builders bum" it's the whole fucking bum quite often. Say if he gets up off the sofa - bottoms and undies are completely under his arse.

OP posts:
lastqueenofscotland · 13/01/2020 08:13

He sounds utterly rank. As if he does it in public Envy

It would be a dealbreaker for me op

LakieLady · 13/01/2020 08:15

Throw away all his pants and replace with a few of these

www.fightequipmentuk.com/adidas-mens-base-wrestling-suit-blue.html

RhiWrites · 13/01/2020 08:31

Would counselling help? He seems to have decided he’s not even going to try to change his appearance. Maybe a third party could help figure out why he’s so intransigent?

Lovelostnfoundx · 13/01/2020 08:32

@Andsbk - “I just throw a blanket on him” - that comment made my morning!!!

justilou1 · 13/01/2020 08:34

Gaff tape his arse crack. Problem solved

CakeandCustard28 · 13/01/2020 08:36

ehhhh. That’s so unhygienic I hope nobody sits where he does. I feel sorry for your kids, he doesn’t pick them up from school like that does he? I’d ban him personally from going out with you socially until he sorts it out and make him clean wherever he’s sat even in the house.

MopsRUs · 13/01/2020 08:46

Buy him some high-waisted or even elastic-topped trousers which stand no chance of falling down. Or some knee length shirts.

Original poster
EurghRedface · 13/01/2020 09:13

@CakeandCustard28 I make him sit on a blanket.

I like the idea of refusing to go out with him also. I'll do that one too and exclude him from family outings.

I can't bare it any longer.

OP posts:
Vulpine · 13/01/2020 09:16

Unlike your dh, who's baring it all the time!

Original poster
EurghRedface · 13/01/2020 09:23

@RhiWrites we've sat down and had deep/civilised conversations about it where I've not judged (so much). I've asked him to explain it to me. I got various answers of "I CBA" or "idk" and "I do pull them up" to "it's my balls".

Last year I suggested to him a squat regiment to increase butt muscle hoping that would help. There was a bit of butt growth but at this point I think he needs implants.

He does waltz around the bedroom like God's gift to women when getting changed. I think it's utter denial of the facts or that he knows how bad it is that he is embarrassed so much he denies it is an issue.

I don't know. No fucking clue. If it was me I would die a little bit more each time, for him seemingly it's like water off a ducks back.

I'm a prude I know that. But I just want him to care enough to make effort.

At Xmas it happened. Admittedly he had one hand full. My brother ripped into him about it everyone was laughing. Instead of pulling them up or covering it he carried on doing what he was doing and didn't until I pulled a "if you don't sort that out I'm going to kick you out face" . Then he did, but with an eye roll!!!

That's what pisses me off most I think!! Is when he does pull it up it is somehow my fault - or so it feels, because he huff's, eye rolls, or moans "I haveeee".

OP posts:
Original poster
EurghRedface · 13/01/2020 09:24

@Vulpine that's hilarious. I'm laughing but so close to crying

OP posts:
recrudescence · 13/01/2020 09:26

Well, at least you’ve always got somewhere handy to park your bike.