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What Children’s toy still traumatises you?

249 replies

Soubriquet · 12/01/2020 08:23

Was discussing toys from when my oldest was a baby, when I suddenly remembered that stupid singing v-tech bear my mum bought my dd.

Nearly 7 years later, and I still remember the fucking song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
I’ll teach you 1-2-3
A sleepy hungry happy bear
Hey come and hug me”

AngryAngry

Then it would randomly go off in the evening with things like “I’m a happy bear!”

No bear...you were lucky to be in one piece

OP posts:
Thread gallery
23
Tinselviolin · 14/01/2020 14:43

Have any of you read The Daydreamer by Ian Mcewan? There's a story about a Bad Doll that is completely terrifying

Lordfrontpaw · 14/01/2020 14:49

I remember a film from childhood where the evil china faced doll was gouging out eyes with a boot-fastener hook.

DearTeddyRobinson · 14/01/2020 15:25

Another V tech monstrosity - a sort of educational cow. Bought it for DS1 who hated it and cried as soon as it started doing its thing. Tried it again for DS2 - nope more tears! Can't t get the bloody song out of my head either;
'I'm a cow come play with me
Learning colours and shapes yippee
ABC and 123
We'll have so much fun you'll see'
ARE YOU READY FOR THE LEARNING FUN?!?

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 14/01/2020 17:47

We have a (rather broken) robotic dinosaur with red light-up eyes that walks and roars.

The first time the DTs saw it, DT1 howled and bum shuffled away from it as fast as possible.

DT2 looked at it - at her brother - pursed her lips - and crawled over to it, smashed it into the floor, breaking its tail off, and then crawled back to what she had been doing.

This is clearly the way to deal with creepy toys.

These days, of course, DT1 loves that blasted thing. He sits cradling it lovingly, gazing into its demonic red eyes and using a toy comb to brush its chipped plastic fangs. He plays with it so much that DH reckons its roar is now a mournful lament for lost peace and quiet...

iklboo · 14/01/2020 18:00

We got DS a singing & dancing Bear in the Big Blue House. He kind of sings and shuffles forward, dancing.

DH put Bear on DS's high chair table while DS was strapped in & turned it on. Bear starts singing and dancing, shuffling forward. And ends up punching DS repeatedly in the face while still singing his bloody Cha Cha song. Not hard but enough to put DS right off. Never played with it again.

We got him another one for his 14th birthday as a joke Grin.

MrsMonkeyBear · 14/01/2020 18:17

I'm freaked out majorly by anything that's too realistic/humanoid. See en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley

I can cope with barbies and most "baby" dolls. But my much younger cousin had one of those 3 foot tall dolls that could walk and talk. Even in my late 20s, I had to hide in another room if it was brought to our house.

I've banned most electronic toys just due to them being infuriating. My youngest had a giraffe that would randomly turn on and scream "Press my belly" at an ungodly volume.

wanderings · 14/01/2020 18:49

They probably weren't a thing when I was a child, but I think I would have been totally freaked out by a Gro-Clock.

I was scared of any clock in my bedroom, especially if it ticked too loudly, glowed in the dark, had a face (with eyes nose and mouth), or sounded an alarm. Worst of all were the traditional ones with bells on top.

motortroll · 14/01/2020 19:07

Buckaroo. Bloody hurts when that donkey gets ya!!!

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 14/01/2020 19:10

My youngest had a giraffe that would randomly turn on and scream "Press my belly" at an ungodly volume

Grin Grin Grin

Lillyhatesjaz · 14/01/2020 19:26

My parents bought ds a kind of board with lots of nursery rhyme pictures and when you press the picture it plays the nursery rhyme. Do you know the muffin man, was his favourite, over and over again. Fortunately the thing was flat enough to slide under the sofa when it got too much.

doublehelix · 14/01/2020 19:36

OP that singing v tech bear was awful. We (genuine but happy accident) lost ours when we left it on car roof at services whilst fastening car seat. As went went down the motorway sliproad it obviously hit take off speed and flew past my view in rear view mirror. Fortunately missed car behind.

Also hated an electronic caterpillar that was based in the toy box at work. Every now and then - just as writing notes or something quiet it would say "wiggle wiggle" - very creepy

ShakeItUp · 14/01/2020 19:37

My mum bought one of my kids a clown. It was as creepy as hell. It was quite big and when you pressed a button on it, it began to move its head from side to side while it played a tune.
Horrible thing, I was glad when it blew up.
Then there was the blooming snoring bear. It snored really loudly when you clapped. Unfortunately, it also snored loudly at ANY sudden loud noise!
Knock on the door, someone calling from another room, sudden loud noise on the TV, dog barking and off it would go, snoring like an old drunk.
It drove me mad and creeped me out in equal measures.

wanderings · 14/01/2020 19:39

I'm not sure if these count, but some Ladybird books with cassettes brought on tears, sometimes with the adults as well! Examples were:

From Snow White: "The dwarfs took it turns to sit always by the coffin, day and night." This scene was accompanied by sad classical music.

The Happy Prince - it made my mum cry every time. "A policeman saw two boys huddled under a bridge, and told them to go home. He did not know that they had no home to go to. They just went, hand in hand, into the rain..."

The Star Child: who is very vain, and when a beggar woman claims to be his mother, he pushes her away. He is punished for this by suddenly turning ugly.

The Tinder Box. "No!" said the soldier (the hero of the story), and he killed her with his sword. (Scream from the witch)

Tom Thumb, cheerfully relating how he was eaten by the cow.

The town mouse and the country mouse. "Country mouse was nearly sucked into the carpet cleaner. How unhappy he was."

William Tell. Whenever I hear the word "government" I think of "the cruel governor", as it was in that book. All the more reason to loathe politicians!

Pinocchio. Not the Disney Pinocchio, but the traditional tale, which I think was much worse, especially his feet burning away.

Emmelina · 14/01/2020 19:41

Oh, I remember the Ladybird tapes! Traumatising!

ShakeItUp · 14/01/2020 19:41

I was watching a programme on TV a couple of nights ago and it showed the police attending a Mothercare store burglary in the middle of the night.
The officers got a fright when in the darkness there was a sudden wailing and two glowing red eyes.
That turned out to be a doll!!!
I mean, really! Who on earth would buy such a creepy thing for their child??

Waterlemon · 14/01/2020 19:44

Read the title and my instant thought was...

Alfie Bear Grin

(Along with half the other posters)

We also had a vteach shape sorter rocket - that terrified the DC, but it worked as a brilliant deterrent to stop them touching the TV cabinet, and the Christmas DC2 started crawling it stopped him going for the Christmas tree.

peaceanddove · 14/01/2020 19:53

"My neighbour had a collection of Pierrot dolls she had a couple in her window she swapped them round every now and then so I never knew which evil one was going to be watching for me coming home from school"

Alcalviddici how do you know the dolls didn't just switch places themselves?

iklboo · 14/01/2020 19:56

My youngest had a giraffe that would randomly turn on and scream "Press my belly" at an ungodly volume

Is anyone else hearing that in Mike Myers' Scottish character voice from Austin Powers? Grin

Lordfrontpaw · 14/01/2020 20:01

There’s a house near me that had a coven of devil dolls posed in the window (there are no children in the house). All peering out at the passers by (the house is right on the street). I even saw one peering out of an upstairs window.

What kind of adult does that?

Lordfrontpaw · 14/01/2020 20:02

Aw that reminds me of the Paddington Bear in the window of a tenement flat in Glasgow that used to wear the appropriate clothing for the weather.

iklboo · 14/01/2020 20:04

That Paddington sounds lovely. If I was little I'd have probably written him letters and posted them through the letterbox (I was an odd child) Blush

Lordfrontpaw · 14/01/2020 20:06

Ummmmm (not sure if he’s still there - hope he is): www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/forget-tall-ship-science-centre-4661015.amp

LolalolaLola · 14/01/2020 21:15

Pinocchio. Not the Disney Pinocchio, but the traditional tale, which I think was much worse, especially his feet burning away.

I was working abroad with an American girl and she bought a couple of illustrated books of Fairy Tales. The original European ones, not the cutesy Disneyfied versions she knew :D She was horrified by them. Particularly by the illustration of 'The Little Match Girl' frozen to death in the snow. Not what she was expecting.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 14/01/2020 21:55

Those garbage pail kids stickers that were all the rage in the mid 80s. They are still pretty horrible.
I blame “drippy dan” for my trypophobia!

iklboo · 15/01/2020 13:44

Those garbage pail kids stickers that were all the rage in the mid 80s. They are still pretty horrible.

They're releasing a Garbage Pail Kids monopoly this year for the 35th anniversary.

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