To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Mine are 21 and 25 now. Casting mind back:

Phone £300 pa
Sports subs £775 pa
Laptop £250 pa
Sports tours £2500 pa
Kit £400 pa
Allowance £1200 pa

Adds up to about £5400pa and mine were pretty privileged. So less than £500pcm.

I stopped the parties by bringing the child to the zoo etc for the day of their birthday instead.

Teens - like most things - run the scale from not very expensive to sky is the limit!

Mine cost a fortune! - lots of ECAs (piano, riding, tennis etc), phones, trips abroad with school and friends, sports equipment, hobbies, clothes etc

But very little of that could ever be described as essential.

I know it's been asked but I've committed to skim reading the whole thread in one go. 😳😳😴😴 and I cant work out how DH takes home 1700/month on a 35k salary....I take home that much and mine is around 26k

And my DC are tween/teen and have never had a whole class party. It has never been offered as an option as its beyond our budget.

Try the MSE budgeting spreadsheet to see what you're really spending on
.if its loans then you're spending beyond your means (on whatever those loans are for)

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/Budget-planning/

That's my advice. No judgement.

How expensive is a teen is like asking how expensive is to pay for an adult's living expenses. It can vary tremendously from cheap food, second hand clothes and bare minimum of tech, to a millionaire lifestyle.

Yeah teens can vary in cost hugely. We spend about 900pcm on every single expense of DDs including the portion of the roof over her head.

Mine cost £1000 per month just for 1 to go to private school, then phone, travel, ECAs,
Then having to curtail working because Ds wasn’t being taught anything at his state school

Then driving lessons, cars, (because we live in a place that needs a car and it takes the pressure off me having to run them to the tube station at 6am in the morning) insurance etc

Mine were definitely cheaper than when they were little.

I cant work out how DH takes home 1700/month on a 35k salary....I take home that much and mine is around 26k

35k after tax would be around 2.2k a month. That's before pension or student loan deductions.

Mine cost £1000 per month just for 1 to go to private school, then phone, travel, ECAs,

Well 1k is a bargain if that includes school fees.

I suppose I wasn't thinking about 17/18 yr olds. Having said that they can pay for their driving lessons like I did!

Having said that they can pay for their driving lessons like I did!

We all paid for our own driving lessons. Lack of freedom was a real incentive.

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

Learn not to gloat and learn to budget. Try living on £60 a week.

Mine goes on kids’ hobbies, kids’ shoes, lunches while kids are doing hobbies. Two cars as needed for jobs. The hobbies get much more expensive the older they get. Add in gym membership and days out and it is gone.

Get rid of the gym membership and cut back their hobbies then, they are not essential.

School feesare an absolute choice Oliversmummy so I don't think anyone was was including them. £1kpcm sounds very low.

Why would anyone want to cut back on hobbies @ willothewispa. I mean literally what’s the point if you can’t have some enjoyment

Oh you live on £60 a week. Well I can’t imagine there’s much joy in that. I hope it temporary

I cant work out how DH takes home 1700/month on a 35k salary....I take home that much and mine is around 26k
I did say early on in the thread, that the DH take home pay didn't add up & l wondered if he was telling porkies to the op and creaming some off for his own spends . Just a thought 🤔

You clearly live out with your means and need to cut back , it's as simple as that.

Re the private school funding being low. I am wondering if the DC had a full scholarship. Especially if the child is gifted in some way.

Re the salary . My Dd2 is on 20k and takes home 1450 a month . Normal tax payer, not a massive overpayer on pension either. The OP's DH salary doesn't add up imho.

Oh you live on £60 a week. Well I can’t imagine there’s much joy in that. I hope it temporary

The rest of this year unless I can find a job before then but that means giving up the training I'm doing to hopefully get a job after Christmas. The powers that be have fucked up my money and refuse to do anything to help.

@OhTheRoses school fees are a choice for a neurotypical child. for a SENDs child you generally have the choice to accept they won’t get any decent education, home school or pay private. you don’t know about the child in question, so please don’t make any assumptions! state provision for SENDs kids is dire

for a SENDs child you generally have the choice to accept they won’t get any decent education

That depends on the school and their staff.

Again for those that can't believe it

35k after tax would be around 2.2k a month. That's before pension or student loan deductions.

My Dd2 is on 20k and takes home 1450 a month

20k after tax & NI is 1427 a month with zero pension contributions.

@myself2020 I'm sorry you've had a bad experience, but please don't generalise. I've spent four decades providing quality education and care to SEND children in outstanding schools.
The government is making life increasingly hard for parents and schools, but there are places and teachers out there who are doing all they can, in some excellent states schools.