To be permanently skint, despite being on a good salary?

[cherriesandapplesandberries]

On paper, we have a good combined income of around £85,000, although it varies slightly and can even go up to around 90 on a good year.

But we seem to be permanently skint, and I don’t mean not much money, I mean absolutely nothing in the bank accounts, scrabbling round for loose change, stressing about how we will get to work, skint. This isn’t a begging thread by the way, I know sometimes people post on MN wanting others to offer them money and I don’t, I’m just trying to explain how it is.

We do have debts, loans and credit cards plus obviously the mortgage, childcare fees, cars which cost then obviously the needs of a growing family.

I know back when I was a young ‘un I’d have fallen about laughing at the idea my current salary isn’t enough to live on, but I just seem to be struggling all of the time!

Also you don’t need to reciprocate party invites.

@BOOMandMayTheDirtBeGone

Not sure she came for help. More justification that £85k isn’t easy to live on.

Wouldn’t know that one as we manage happily on £65k with at least one long haul holiday a year. All about cutting your cloth.

OMG DisorganisedOrganiser you really do not have to do these things you know. What is wrong with you? I am 47 there have been times in my life when I have had to say sorry can't put much in for this card/leaving/maternity leave present etc. My 15yo DS had no all class birthday parties and has not suffered for it at all. He did not like some in his class most years so why would he invite them? Now they get together in groups of no more than 10 or so and "hang out" much in the same way as when he was younger but without the adult intervention

OP didn't want any help she just wanted to vent

Disorganised organised

There is no problem with spending your money on what you want
However ,overdraft and credit card is not your money
Btw Children have a habit of having expensive hobbies and then giving up

No, we're not permanently skint. We earn £50k a year between us. Only debt is the mortgage. We have enough in savings to see us through 6 months if we both lose our jobs. Manage to run one car. We used to earn about £70k a year, but I changed job and went part time. I feel very lucky as our DC still manage lots of activities, we go on holiday twice a year, and we manage the odd night out!

OP just wanted us all to know that even though her and her DH had made decisions that she has no regret over but left them in huge debt she is now finding that £85k is not enough and the are always skint. Which I am inclined after all the posts suggesting things etc and the OP saying she just wanted to vent has left me saying ....meh

Disorganised, well if you allow yourself to be bound in your spending because you feel so obliged to reciprocate and keep up with Jones’ you will probably always be playing catch-up and fear the genuine expenses.

It’s really important to get your head round essentials vs nice to have non-essentials and to teach your children that. They will benefit more from that understanding than certain hobbies.

I’m sure you know this really, even if in practice you find it hard.

Good call about the child benefit, @73Sunglasslover. For 2 children, that would be £130+ a month. Added to the £80 that will be freed up when OP has repaid the smaller of the loans, that would be £200 a month to throw at the credit card debt.

It would soon start to shrink noticeably if you paid minimum plus £200 a month. Come August, when the second loan is paid off, OP could throw that money at it too. There can't be a massive amount outstanding if the CC min payments are only £100 a month, it would be cleared in no time.

Then the disposable income would go up by £500 a month, which would make a huge difference.

OP just wanted us all to know that even though her and her DH had made decisions that she has no regret over but left them in huge debt she is now finding that £85k is not enough and the are always skint.

The bit I can’t get my head round is that the reason for the debt is the reason life is much more expensive now and that doesn’t appear to have been factored into the OPs thinking or certainly budgeting at all

Having kids is expensive!

There can't be a massive amount outstanding if the CC min payments are only £100 a month

Well sometimes it says they are £100 and other times they are ‘at least £150’

If there’s no interest and with the right provider that could easily be between £10 and £15k (1% minimum payment)

I’m sorry I’m with @LakieLady
Yes to work collections (I dont see the big deal with give 5 towards a gift!) and 14-15 per head is the norm per head at a party here. I paid 14 per head at last years soft play and pottery party and to be kind I invite all classmates (I have instilled in my dd that we don’t leave people out!) she goes to a small village school with 24 in her classroom. They don’t all come of course but they get invited...and yes I have no problems with siblings joining in (usually parents pay the extra for the siblings).

Up until October we had a family income of £65k (but after tax, pensions etc was significantly less). We received around £3k a month which sounds massive but we live in the south east, DH is frankly rubbish with money & racked up a fucking great credit card bill without my knowledge, and one of my kids grows like a runner bean so constantly needed new stuff!! Plus the usual car payments, car repairs (we had 2 large repairs within 3 months), we had 2 vital kitchen appliances break in 1 month, everything seemed to conspire against us.

I now work as well so I bring an extra £1200 a month in and although I now pay childcare we are so much better off. I have 50% of my husband's salary sent to me so I can manage the finances better and amazingly we get paid on Friday & still have several hundred left over which has never happened before!!

Now having money has made me realise how much I like it & I've seriously juggled our bills. We got rid of sky in favour of NowTv, we share a Netflix act with SIL, I got a multi insurance policy which covers car and house so saved money. I overhauled our grocery bill, I reduced our pet insurance (they're very old, lifetime all bells & whistles cover didn't seem necessary), I reduced spending on birthdays & xmas.

The moral of the story is, usually a high income with skint as a life is usually down to bad money decisions. I didn't manage to get on board with this until we suddenly had money again ironically

Meh I have more sympathy for OP who didn't mention extensive class parties, hobbies for her or the kids or work collections than Disorganised.

She might be doing all those things but it's a bit unfair to assume she does just because another poster can't see the wood from the trees and pissing money pointlessly because "it's the done thing".

I was similarly skint when I had childcare to pay for. It does get easier when they get older and don't need it so we just viewed as a a short term skintness-there was an end in sight.
During those years we budgeted the hell out of everything. Meal planned. And stayed in a lot. (Which was also necessary as two small kids). It wasn't much fun but it's not forever.

We also at one point went interest only on our mortgage for a year which helped considerably.

*It’s actually really sad that people have been conditioned to think like disorganised

You don’t have to keep up with the the Jones’ all the time*

Oh, I don't know. Those people's spending helps keep Western capitalism going.

Then it's pointless shopping at Aldi if you spunk the food budget for two months on a bday party.

Tbh I've found doing the food shop online the easiest way to cut costs. No transport costs, no impulse buying and so much easier to stick to a list and the meal plan.

I agree I’ve got more sympathy with the OP than the people who think you have to have £15-a-head whole class parties. Utterly ridiculous. If you ‘must’ have a whole class party you get inventive and do something that is cheap or free. Unless it isn’t about the event and is all about how much you spend, in which case the people where you live are arseholes and I wouldn’t want my children growing up learning that what is important in life is how much you can afford to spend on people and not the time and care you invest in them.

As for hobbies etc- I really really wanted to learn horse riding. We couldn’t afford it. I learnt of sorts over my summer holidays with the occasional lesson. Do I feel like my parents should have got into debt so I could do it? Do I fuck. Ask any adult ‘do you think your parents should have got into debt so you could have had Mandarin lessons’ and I doubt if many would think that was a reasonable request.

OP (or anyone else in a similar position to OP, as OP doesn't want advice), if your DH is paying a student loan, have you considered the possibility of him going p/t until the children qualify for their free hours?

Some friends have found they're better off reducing their hours to the point that their salary is below the point the student loan kicks in. They pay less childcare and their travel costs are less because they're only commuting 3 days pw instead of 5.

Just a thought.

FFS, what is the point of this thread? Me and the kids live on £1200 a month before bills. Guess what? I have no debt and I manage to save. It's all about being able to manage your finances and being motivated to stay on top of things.

Scott Pape, the barefoot investor. Get his book, it will give you your peace back. Good luck.

Bye OP's childcare costs alone are more than that so how are your income or circumstances relevant in any way?

I will be utterly slated for saying this but if your budget has no slack such that you can't save & thus need to get in a huge amount of debt for IVF, you can't afford the kids....

Ffs why does everyone have to be so shitty? Would you say that to a friend considering ivf?

Op, i get it. It's not that you want or need budgeting advice or don't appreciate that you have it better than many. It's just that you want to know if it's normal to feel like your money doesn't actually go as far as you think it should. You get mixed messages even on this thread. On the one hand people are telling you you earn a king's salary and should never have money trouble. On the other hand you get savaged for ever having thought you could afford swimming lessons for your child.

I never ever had a whole class party. And nor has my 14 Yr old.. In fact when at primary none of his friends had a whole class party.
Many were 5 at bowling. Or 2 for a sleepover.
Yes there were times he'd say.. But I play with ' Fred' lots and such and such doesn't but they're going.. But he's get over it within a few hours.
I have a nr 2 Yr old and 1 on way and no Way will they be having whole class parties