CRINGE. Tales of teenage embarrassment to cheer me up...

[MissKittyFantastico84]

Hello MNers,

I'm currently on day three of a hospital stay and feeling pretty miserable about it so thought I'd start a thread to cheer me up.

Inspired by one of the things that make me laugh most - cringe moments from many years ago that you still feel, deep down in your very soul.

I'll go first so you know I'm not some lazy journo (nope, just a sick pissed off lady!) 🙂

NYE when I was about 19 - over at a guy's house I was sort of dating with a few of my and his mates. Let's call him Sam.

Sam gave us the tour of his house (lovely house), pointing out his mum's FAVOURITE african ornament that was on a shelf going up the stairs. How LOVELY!

Night was going well, all having fun. Me and my mate are in high spirits, being young and stupid, so for SOME REASON, start singing New York, New York by Sinatra and doing HIGH KICKS DOWN THE STAIRS.

Needless to say, I booted Sam's mum's favourite african ornament a good few feet in the air. It's head came off.

Did I own up? Did I bollocks. I 'hid' the statues head behind the statue, somehow hoping NO ONE WOULD NOTICE?

No one did, until the next morning.

We did not continue dating.

SO PLEASE - cheer me up. Tell me your shame from those oh so delicate and formative years!

xx

Aged 18, walking around a supermarket while working in Italy in my sophisticated (??) hand knit halter neck top. The design, my own, was such that no bra could be worn. All was well until a very good looking bloke pointed out to me that I was showing 'too much skin' this took some translating and the entire time I was trying to work out what he was saying my R breast was visible to all and sundry.
The only good thing about it was my poor Italian meant the full horror and embarrassment didn't sink in until some time later so I appeared very nonchalant at the time and just calmly adjusted the top. When I got home I was completely mortified.
I found said top recently and was utterly amazed I had ever 1. knit it and 2. thought it would actually be suitable to wear.

My parents were on holiday when I was 16. Obviously I had a party - which unfortunately grew and grew and it ended up with about 100 people across the house and garden. My brother, aged 18, arrived home and went tonto- as he arrived there were 3 lads on the garage roof peeing onto the neighbour's car!

The police eventually came due to complaints from neighbours. I hid in my parents' room, wrapped in the duvet with my then squeeze pretending to not be there. The police came in, rolled us out of the bed and said " Your dad will not be pleased". My dad was a local cop and knew these policemen well.

The next morning we furiously tidied and scrubbed. We thought we had it all in the bag- the place was perfect- until mum arrived home, went to make a cuppa and asked ' Why is there a glass bottle of urine in the fridge?'. God knows who had put it there. My brother eyeballed me and I spay out " Oh me and the girls had read that if you refrigerate your own wee the proteins rise to the top and it's really good for you". They almost bought it until dad saw his completely ruined flower beds.

I once wore a purple floral dress, purple tights and purple shoes and to top it off put a purple clip in my hair 🙈 I was 15 and this was too a 16th birthday party of a friend.

Hope you’re feeling better op.

A few years ago I was doing housework, sun out so windows open, back door open. Tidying in a pair of baggy trackies and a hoody. Went to empty the rubbish into the bin out the front of the house when I hear the front door slam behind me. No keys on me just the bin bag. I decide my only option is to climb through the lounge window... while doing so my trackie bottoms fell down exposing my a$$ and I dread to think what else to the workmen that were working on my neighbours drive!! They found it hilarious I was mortified I didn’t leave the house all day and shut all the curtains.

Now I take the keys with me always and make sure I have underwear on

I was about 3-4 when the 1st incident happened. My neighbour who was 2yrs older than me, and in my eyes much wiser, suggested we make penises out of a tube of paper and attached to yourselves with sellotape! We then took turns trying to wee through them into the toilet when my dad walked in!

Years later, I was about 13 and my father and I went swimming. Half way through I decided I'd do back stroke, but instead of my hand hitting the water, it landed squarely on his crotch in speedos!

Aged 19, I was studying for my last 2 A-levels, having only done 2 the year before due to being diagnosed with ME and not able to manage all 4 at once. Being in the summer months, some of my 'studying' took place outside in the sunshine.....as I was home alone a lot of the time, I decided I didn't want unsightly tan lines and as the garden wasn't overlooked, I took my bikini off....fell asleep whilst reading extracts of Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen has a LOT to answer for) ...and burnt my arse good and proper. So bad I could barely sit down which was particularly fun when having to take the 3 hour english lit exam the very next day.
The same summer with more naked sun bathing, I found out my 15 year old brother was inviting his friends back to the house and charging them money to view me topless in the garden. He only stopped doing it because my Dad came home early to work from home and caught him in the act. My brother thought it was hilarious and allegedly had made quite a bit of money from it! Mortified.

I was about 21 when my DM and DstepD went on holiday to Australia for 6 weeks. So my bf at the time (now DH) stayed there and "looked after" the house.
I was at work one day when there was a phone call from my DM, it went along the lines of "we are home now and I have put your wacky backy smoking stuff from the table and into the garden". I didn't expect them back for another week, so I left the weed, bong etc. All over the place.

I’m sure there were many but I’ve not thought of them yet, but here’s one about one of my best friends from school.

We were at the school disco and best friend said, ‘oh look, there’s (insert boy’s name) with his ugly slag of a girlfriend.’ Reader, the girlfriend was my sister.

Turns out my friend had had a crush on my sister’s BF for ages. For years afterwards friend would go bright red whenever I teased her about it. My sister and BF thought it was fucking hilarious. I think it even featured in a poem BF wrote for my sis such a momentously amusing event was it.

Oh God, this was horrific. I live very rurally and had to visit family as a teen which meant a 7 hour coach journey there and back. On the way back I had the most horrific cystitis ever. I was in and out of the tiny smelly toilet every 10 minutes and in so much pain! When I finally got home I slept the sleep of the very feverish and woke up completely out of it but desperate for a wee! I made it to my bedroom door before the most enormous wee of my life sprang forth- all over the floor! Gah

.

Ok, I’ve just thought of one.

Can’t remember how old I was, maybe 16. All the family were out so I was getting a bit frisky by myself in the living room. I thought nobody could see in as we used to keep the caravan on the front. To see in you’d have to come up the drive. Anyway I was getting quite into it, kecks down etc, and ‘ding dong!’ I jumped up in horror, kecks down still, to see the Avon lady outside the front door looking in at me.

I avoided that Avon lady like the plague for the next three years until I left home.

@Hazybobs I'm not sure that even the most super confident teenager would cope with her bush and nipples being clearly visible to an entire swimming pool of people 😂

Only saving grace was that it's about 150 miles away from where I lived so there was nobody I know there!

There's loads of stupid things I've done, (most of which sadly are too outing) when very young or embarrassing things that have just happened, but one is never too old! About ten years ago (early 50's) I went to a party, and to avoid a panty line under dress I thought it would be a good idea to go knickerless. Unfortunately whilst talking to a man I kind of temporarily had the hots for, I realised I smelt! The cause being the thick nylon tights I was wearing. Cue my suddenly thinking he could smell me, although he probably couldn't, so I got panicky, hotter and even more sweaty and smelly! Then I had to make a hasty retreat!

I have a few as I had such heavy periods when I was a teenager and they were also irregular

I was about 15 and on a second date with a guy who was in the Army. He invited me around to watch a film with him and his mother! In the middle of the film I needed the toilet so they pause it and off I go. Only as I go to sit down the biggest woosh of blood lands on the cream pedestal mat and I’ve come on in full flow. In my absolute panic I try to devise a plan and decide to make myself vomit and make loud heaving noises so they can hear me. I’m trying to wash the blood out of the mat (all the time pretending I am being sick) but it’s still very obviously a blood stain. In the meantime, they are trying to get me to open the door as I’ve been in there about 20mins at this point pretending I am sick and I can hear the mother saying “this is the last time you bring a girl home here. There is something going on in there, I want her out” I am almost crying thinking of how to explain the bloody marks over the cream pedestal when I am hit with a brainwave (if a little disgusting, but avoiding embarrassment is THE biggest thing as a teen). I use some of the blood on a tissue and open the door to tell them I’ve had a nose bleed after all the heaving and it’s on the carpet. The mother is grabbing my hand and pushing the tissue to my nose saying make sure it doesn’t leak over my carpet out here 🤢 They pushed me out of the door so fast and thankfully, he went back to service so I never saw him again!

Another time I was on holiday and we had met some boys who walked us back to the hotel and I was slightly drunk but still only 15. I was wearing a lemon skort (the shorts that look like a skirt at the front) and as we were saying good night I could see some people in the restaurant across the path pointing to me. Thinking they were pointing at how short my skirt was, I pulled the front away and showed them they were in fact shorts. Que much excited talk from the group as they shouted to each other in Spanish and shook their heads (me thinking they were loving this new and mysterious clothing). When I got undressed I realised that they were pointing at the massive bloody stain covering my lovely new skorts and were probably shaking their heads that these disgusting British girls are proudly showing off their period blood.

Thank god my periods got much lighter as I got older!

I think I was maybe about 8. Went round this girl’s house up my street. Didn’t know her all that well.

She went to the loo, and came out all excited, saying I must look at the six little poos she’d just done. I looked and was very impressed!

Then I used the loo, and dropped something altogether bigger, sloppier and more toxic. I ran out of the bog, shouting, “HEY, LOOK AT MY POO!” just as her very strict dad was coming up the stairs. He was NOT amused.

I was on a student trip to Australia, we were on a tour and staying with families some of the nights. One night I was sharing with a German girl. I was rushing in the bathroom as we were due out to dinner and had a quick shower and shaved my legs. Unbeknown to me I had cut the back of my leg shaving and it had dripped blood across the floor. The lady in the house asked the German girl if she was on her period as there was blood on the floor. It turned out later we had both cut ourselves shaving although we were also both on our periods.

Have loved reading this thread btw.

At 38 some of my teenage goings on still haunt me to this day. I’m terrified at what my own daughters will get you to when they're bigger!

Once when I was around 19 and staying in my BF house, I’d been out for the night with friends and was meeting my BF back at his family home after a night on the town. Only when the taxi pulled up outside the door I realised I didn’t have enough to pay for the cab and no one was home at my BF’s house. I was pissed and just able to walk/ talk and thought I know! I’ll knock on a neighbours door and ask to borrow the money at 2am!!! Then let myself into my BF’s house. The next morning I was met by BF mum and BF shamefully having to pay the poor neighbours on my behalf and asking me WTF!

Another one which haunts me is staying on a caravan site in Wales when me and friends were 16. We’d met with some older lads and having a party in their caravan. One of the lads let’s my pissed as a fart 16 year old friend drive his new BMW around the caravan site. Which horrifically she crashes right into someone’s static caravan! No one was in it at the time luckily so no one was hurt. But they hit and ran and Then continued to party back at the caravan . So so bad!

I’m afraid this is a steal from a friend.
Late teens, in morning in bed naked with boyfriend of numerous months. She woke first and decided it would be funny to wake him by farting in his face .... she did but didn’t bargain for the poo follow through . He did wake up. She was obviously passed mortified. I, to this day still can’t decide who I felt more sorry for .
They stayed together !!!!
And he told us all, and we all laughed a lot - she got all mortified again, this story continued every time someone new joined the group and was introduced to her. Eventually, she resigned herself and would say ‘I’m ‘a’ and I pooed in ‘b’s face....

I was 13, and during school between classes, walked out of one class complaining about my chapped lips to my friends.
A boy my age heard me, but was convinced I’d said “chapped tits”.
I spent the rest of that school year hearing
HEY CHAPPED TITS!!! from across the schoolyard & all over the village.
Mortifying for a 13 year old girl.

Oh My Gosh! I have nothing like these posts. My moat awful moment was on my honeymoon, in the South of France. Middle of nowhere, surrounded by vineyards, as far as the eye could see. Beautiful countryside, and, the farmer only lived a couple of miles up the road (track) if needed. The weather was so so gorgeous, I decided to get an all over tan, and dragged a large rug out onto the lawn. While laying out there, in ALL of my very lovely Glory, (it Was lovely, I was 19) I heard a weird crashing noise, and without thinking, I rolled and rolled and rolled, wrapping myself up in the rug, just as the bloody farmer came crashing through the hedge. I very distinctly remember the look on his face, as he passed me, rolled up in his The look on his face was classic. Mad English. I had no expression at all, obviously, I was far too cool for expression stuff. Bless him, he'd come to offer us another two days, for free, because his next booking had been delayed. I'm sorry for thinking he was a weirdo. They were actually lovely people. My very new husband laughed for fucking weeks. Years. Until I killed him, finally. Well, not killed exactly. I was horrified, at 19. Not so much now. Giving birth does that to a person, don't you think? LOL x

17, visiting my boyfriends grandparents. I clogged the toilet with a massive shit. Didnt know what to do. Boyfriend unclogged it for me. I was MORTIFIED.

Flirting with an older boy we hung round with in the park one night trying to be way cooler than I was at 14....

He asked if I smoked while offering me a cigarette, for some reason my response was to say "only if my hair is on fire" then to proceed to laugh so much I started snorting....

Yeh for some reason my crush was never reciprocated!

I hate you Mumsnet for ruining what was intended to be a productive morning getting everything all my admin done...instead I've been wetting myself at all these tales. Love the doggy condom story the best.

And thank you for making me feel so much better about my stupid entitled teenage behaviour, ridiculous drunken antics and period mishaps.

@Elouera

Ha love the cardboard penises!!
Budget transitioning

Just remembered the time I was furiously dancing to some garage music in the local nightclub, I thought all eyes were on me because everyone had finally realised I was bloody cool - no, all eyes were on me because one of my boobs had broken free of the flimsy halterneck top i6d idiotically chosen to wear without a bra.