CRINGE. Tales of teenage embarrassment to cheer me up...

[MissKittyFantastico84]

Hello MNers,

I'm currently on day three of a hospital stay and feeling pretty miserable about it so thought I'd start a thread to cheer me up.

Inspired by one of the things that make me laugh most - cringe moments from many years ago that you still feel, deep down in your very soul.

I'll go first so you know I'm not some lazy journo (nope, just a sick pissed off lady!) 🙂

NYE when I was about 19 - over at a guy's house I was sort of dating with a few of my and his mates. Let's call him Sam.

Sam gave us the tour of his house (lovely house), pointing out his mum's FAVOURITE african ornament that was on a shelf going up the stairs. How LOVELY!

Night was going well, all having fun. Me and my mate are in high spirits, being young and stupid, so for SOME REASON, start singing New York, New York by Sinatra and doing HIGH KICKS DOWN THE STAIRS.

Needless to say, I booted Sam's mum's favourite african ornament a good few feet in the air. It's head came off.

Did I own up? Did I bollocks. I 'hid' the statues head behind the statue, somehow hoping NO ONE WOULD NOTICE?

No one did, until the next morning.

We did not continue dating.

SO PLEASE - cheer me up. Tell me your shame from those oh so delicate and formative years!

xx

Hope you're feeling better soon OP.

When I was 17 I was asked out by a bloke who I fancied like mad. I think he was around 20.
So, off I went to a club with him and thinking I was being sophisticated I was drinking red wine.
Much later, in the stuffy packed club I felt really sick.....and drunk, but I was desperately fighting to stop myself being sick, rather than do the sensible thing and excuse myself to the toilets or even outside, I threw my guts up all over him, copious amounts of red wine almost drowned him.....and I pissed myself at the same time!!
Needless to say that date number two wasn't forthcoming.
I still cringe about it.

Age 15, very drunk with my friends in a country park and we need to pee. I crouch down with my jeans and pants at my ankles but lose my balance, tip forward and face plant with my bare arse in the air. I sobered up immediately.

Wi went out with some friends and got very drunk. One had to call my dad to pick me up. On the way home I realised that I was going to be sick and shouted that I needed him to pull over.
I clambered our of the car and promptly vomited all over my new shoes. Unfortunately, the part of the journey that I had chosen to get out at was input city’s well known red light district.
I suddenly became aware that everything was flashing blue. That a lady in uniform was very firmly telling me to ‘move on’ and that my dad was having his rights read to him for ‘curb crawling’.
Thank goodness they eventually checked our ID and realised that his ‘story’ about me being his daughter was indeed the truth.

I have never been allowed to forget it. Every time I have even one glass of wine it is trotted our.

Excuse the typos. I may have had a glass or too.

Two. ffs

18 years old pissed as a fart female staying at bf's house whose mum hated her.

Both fell asleep in his tiny single bed and she woke to him saying you've shit yourself!
She denied it, lying between them was a great big cow pat. She told him it was him knowing it must've been her as she was so so drunk. Next thing she knows is she's downstairs with him, his mum screaming her head off as her best new show towels are in the wash basket covered in poo. As was the sink, bath etc etc

Awkward relationship with the in-laws for the next few years.

I remember and still cringe...

When I was 14, I was part of a classical quintet, first flute and all that.. the object of my unrequited attention was also in the quartet. I had a bad cold (and a runny nose). We are in the middle of a concert when my nose starts running, I decide to keep playing as I couldn’t leave the second flute playing alone. Lo and behold, the longest snot in history was hanging from my nose until we finished and I could run all the way down to the toilets to clean it. Couldn’t look at the guy’s eyes for months.

But... More than 12 years later he fell for me

Had to NC but I've so so many of these.

Once when I came back from winter work trip I decided to take my boots straight to the shoemenders to be reheeled.
Picked them up, all freshly reheeled... and only then did I realise that I'd packed my dirty underwear inside the boots to save space in my suitcase. They didn't say a word...

this was my early 20s but you can still have it.

party, summer, friends’ garden. having a great time, drinking loads, finally talking to the most beautiful man from the pub that i had been lusting after for ages. he rolled a fag, put it in his mouth and quick as a flash i whipped out my zippo to impress him and light it for him.

except, i set one side of his long hair on fire. and then panicked, and added insult to injury by hitting him repeatedly round the head to put it out. all you could smell was burnt hair, and it was frazzled off all the way to his scalp in places.

he had to get it cut short the next day.

reader, i did not get that snog.

To my shame, I have several...

When I was 17 and at college, I had been sent to a placement at a residential school for excluded children... I was so close in age to them, that I still found their daft humour hilarious..
They also found it hilarious when I was sent out of assembly for uncontrollable laughter when one of them farted loud and long and shouted “get out and walk”

During the same course, another placement was on the young teens ward in the local hospital... one of the girls showed me a story in her magazine about a girl going on a date even though she was ill with a tummy bug... the boyfriend picked her up in his car and while she was waiting in the little car on her own, she let rip with a huge putrid fart, relieved that the boyfriend hadn’t got in yet.
When he finally got in, he said to her ‘oh, I hope you don’t mind, I m dropping Pete off on the way, hope you 2 have been getting to know one another... Horrified, she turned round to see a shocked-looking young lad in the darkness of the back seat...
I laughed so much that the senior nurse threatened to report me to my college!😆

When I was around 14 we used to get people coming to school to talk about their jobs and careers. They used to pick one of us to stand up and say thank you at the end. They picked me one day and I was bricking it as I hated speaking in front of a lot o people.

I was going over it In my head ‘thank you for coming and giving up some of your time’. However it came out as ‘thank you for coming and wasting your time’. I was , and never lived it down, luckily they saw the funny side and the teachers were laughing their heads off.

I used to stay at my male friends house quite often during college as I lived quite far away. It was all really innocent so I shared a bed with him, although one drunken night I must’ve had an exciting dream..... the next morning he informed me I had put on some sort of live sex show for him in my dream. We got together a couple of months after and he pointed out I didn’t sound as if I enjoyed it as much as when I did it in my sleep It didn’t last long after that but we are still really good friends, I still cringe 13 years later when he jokes about it!

In our year 10 English class, one of my friends laughed so hard she wet herself. She had to borrow a jumper to tie around her waist to cover the wet patch. She was so embarrassed that she cried. Not easy for a 15 year old to live down.

About 14 and had just started seeing a guy who was a few years older, and much taller. I was very inexperienced and when we went in for our first kiss i closed my eyes and basically tried getting off with his chin. So much cringe.

Aged about 16 was having a (over the clothes) grope with my bf. Noticed he kept rubbing/picking the same area of my arse but too awkward to say anything. He went to the toilet so I checked it out and found a piece of rolled up toilet paper Removed it, he came back, felt same area again, obviously it was gone and neither of us mentioned it again...

Just thought of one that my best friend at school told me... they had lived in the north when she was in her early teens and swam in the canal in the hot summer of 1976. The canals were not known for their clean water...

There was a ‘show-offy’ sort of girl who spent her time squealing and trying to get the boys attention while pissing off all the girls. Most of the girls had got out of the water and were drying off so this squeaky girl was really making a show of herself, but just as she came up from being under the water, yelling and shouting, a turd (poo) hit her straight in her open mouth!!! All the kids collapsed laughing and nobody went to help her, just went yuk and carried on laughing🤣🤣 she was a lot quieter after that!!

I’m laughing again at recalling these, op, hope you are feeling better from the stories👍

@bornonasunday pretty sure the teen who submitted that story is now a grown up MNer - I’m sure I’ve seen it on a similar thread to this one on here!

Aged about 15, I had a crush on a guy in my class for months. Finally got brave enough to write a really really cringy Christmas card to him.... he messaged me to say thank you etc, wasn't very clear so I asked if he liked me.... He had a girlfriend. So awkward. I had to keep sharing a small class with him for another 2 years

I once got really drunk around age 19, my boyfriend picked me up and took me back to his house, we were about to dtd when he threw my legs round him in bed, I farted.. then laughed so hard I coughed myself sick and wet myself! We are still together now with 1 DC! He does still like to bring it up though!

So many! My parents used to host foreign students when I was a teenager. We had a very cool French guy stay one time. I was in awe!

One day, I went to the loo-big bathroom, forgot to close the door, I was mid-period, flooding, very messy, legs akimbo on the loo, used sanitary towel on the floor, in walks the French guy. Neither of us knew where to look, it was horrific.

Another time, I was extremely drunk, in a park whilst at uni. I insisted on a taxi home, the driver was asking if I was sure I wanted a taxi. I kept insisting, so he agreed, only to turn the corner and stop. I could have walked in about a minute. Shameful. To compound this, I locked myself in my room with my housemates desperate to check I was ok, them shouting, me shouting. Just horrible.

When I was 14 or 15 I did work experience. I was ridiculously shy and had a nervous stomach ache. I went to the toilet and when I went to flush it was one of those toilets with a really high cistern but instead of having a chain, It had a normal flush handle on the stupid high cistern. I had to stand on the seat to flush. After that small panic (which thankfully no one else witnessed) one of the supervisors gave me a tour of the workplace. While we were alone in a never ending corridor I did a silent but deadly fart. 🙈🙈 it was awful! That was day 1 and I had to report to him every day for 2 weeks

@exWifebeginsAgainat46 your story had me crying with laughter.

My aunt is only 8 years older than me and looks like a supermodel. I was a chunky unglamorous 13 year old.
One evening I had just had a bath and was lying on the floor on my stomach in my nightie watching tv. I heard lots of sniggering and turned to see my aunt and her boyfriend ( who I had a crush on) sniggering because my nightie had ridden up displaying my spotty bum

My teens were just a series of mortifying events, mostly alcohol induced. I am sure I can’t even remember the worst of them, thankfully (sometimes alcohol blackouts are a blessing!) I once had a similar experience to the tampon-at-a-rave poster, except mine was a pad at a party and light colored jeans and being so drunk I forgot I was on my period and then waking up the next morning (I stayed over at my friend, the hosts house) and finding my light colored jeans had a HUGE blood stain on them - I’m talking huge like unmissable, the size of a plate. Thankfully everyone else was so drunk I don’t think anyone noticed. I once went out on Halloween and got so drunk that when I went to wash off my make up the next day (generic ‘dead’ make up) I was surprised to find it very painful to wash off, and then that the cuts and bruises weren’t coming off. Because they were real. Turns out I’d fallen flat on my face repeatedly (in front of everyone and anyone) but not let that stop me from continuing with my night. I once got really drunk at my mums birthday party and was just the typical embarrassing drunk teenager - I was sick in someone’s shoes, I kicked off when I wasn’t allowed to go out with them after the party as I was too drunk, I told my best friends son that we used to play naked together in a paddling pool (I remember meaning this in a haha that’s funny way but I remember all the adults massively cringing thinking it was a chat up line 😂). The absolute icing on the cake was when i went out for my own birthday, got bought so many drinks that I got horribly drunk, went home with my friend to her house after the night to sleep it off , and then here’s the weird part - inexplicably called a taxi back to town,had no money to pay for the taxi, realized I had nowhere to go in town (must have been about 5am by this point!) so started banging on an ex boyfriends door because I was starting to get cold and wet and realized that he was the only person I knew who lived around there. Thankfully he didn’t answer but either his neighbors or the taxi driver called the police who were very nice about it until I made up a fake name (apparently it was ludicrously unbelievable) and was very rude to one of the police officers (but very nice to the other) and so they made me sleep in the cell for the night as punishment! to be fair when I woke up everyone was pretty nice about it and saw the funny side but I was mortified! There’s so, so many more too. You name it, I’ve probably done it! Safe to say I’m not much of a drinker these days!

In my late teens early 20s I used to get water infections quite often. One Saturday I was working and woke up with another infection. Having a stupidly good work ethic and not wanting to let colleagues down (v. busy retail job) I decided to go into work - by train. I used the toilet at the station and tried not to drink much before I left. But on the train, between stations, I couldn't hold in my wee it was too painful so I just had to go. I was with two colleagues and I've no idea whether they noticed or not. No one said anything. I can't remember what I did about my wet clothes or whether I made it into work it must have been so obvious though

I was 18, in my first full time job, had been there a couple of months when my supervisor invited me out on her hen night. I had far too much to drink - vodka, whisky, whatever anyone put in front of me. I vaguely remember dancing with some Italian sailors then I felt pretty woozy so went and sat down with a friend to have a rest and catch my breath.

It was then that a wave of nausea overcame me. The club was horrifically designed - to get to the toilets you had to fight your way through the whole crowded dance floor. I knew there was no chance I’d make it and would likely spew on the dance floor.

So I emptied out my handbag on the table and, I thought, leaned over and was quietly and elegantly sick in my bag.

Not quite how it happened.

My friend assured me that I was, in fact, violently sick - yes, in my bag, but also on the floor and over her shoes.

And the kicker?

It was the early 90s when string handbags were a thing.

So I went to find my supervisor to tell her I was a bit unwell and was going to go home, with this puke-oozing string handbag over my shoulder like it was normal.

Anyway I was in the same job on my 21st and as a gift I was presented with a framed hand-drawn caricature of me in my clubbing gear dragging a sick-filled, dripping handbag behind me.

I’ve still got it.