DP ex and boundaries

[Givenupsmokingatlast]

NC for this though I’ve been on the site for a while.

DP is still on good terms with his exw for the sake of their children. There’s no suggestion of them reconciling and for the last few years of their marriage they basically lived apart anyway. She and I tend to avoid each other without any actual conflict so all good all round.

Which leaves me more than a bit annoyed and confused by last weekend. He was around there picking up the three girls, and she had just come out of the shower. She sauntered around in front of him in her underwear, just putting her bra on. I’m not a prude, I don’t feel jealous of her but isn’t this a bit disrespectful to me? Or am I just being old fashioned?

He just needs to say ‘put your clothes on for gods sake ‘ if it happens again.

That would be outrageously rude given that he is in her personal space. Alternatively, he could try not going upstairs in her house, while she is having a shower .

What did you expect her to do?

Even if the girls normally invite dp upstairs ( do they or does he just go on up to supervise them , uninvited?). The politest thing would have been for your dp to say - oh your getting ready, I'll wait downstairs as soon as he realized.

How /why did he tell you? Was he inviting you to join in in criticising her for her lack of modesty or was it a jokey comment about how well they get on?

Surely it's not about what she's happy being seen in. Surely your issue is how happy your dh is to be seeing her in that state of undress, putting himself on the upstairs landing while she's showering , so he can't say he didn't see it coming, happily had a letch, and gleefully came home and told you all about it! How are you not seeing any issue with his actions but able to convince yourself that she's done something wrong by showering and dressing in the upstairs of her own home?! Get a grip.