Sharing a hotel room with a stranger

[nomorespaghetti]

I've signed up to do some volunteering for a large national charity. I need to attend a training weekend for it about 2 hours away from where I live. It will involve one overnight stay. The charity will pay for train travel and overnight accommodation, but they've asked that volunteers share a twin bed room with another volunteer to keep costs down. It doesn't specify that it'd be a person of the same sex (but I'd hope so!)

The thought of sharing a hotel room with a stranger makes me feel super anxious. I wouldn't mind doing it if it was someone I knew, a work colleague for example. And I've stayed in hostels before (many years ago in my youth!)

I've no issue with telling them that I'm not comfortable doing it. But I want to know if others would be ok with it in this situation. Friends in real life also said they'd not like to.

YANBU = I wouldn't want to do that
YABU = I would be happy to share a room with a stranger

Sorry if I've missed it, but what did the OP decide to do?

Nope, no way would I share with somebody I don’t know. I don’t even like sharing a room with friends unless it’s my best friend since children or one of my daughters.
I like my privacy.

I'm presuming an even number will be attending, otherwise bags the room for one.

OP, it is perfectly reasonable to say that sharing a room is not something you feel comfortable with.

They should have made this an open question or ‘opt in’, as in ‘let us know if you would be happy to share with another volunteer in order to keep our room bookings to a minimum’.

Just be open and direct with them, and maybe check their policy going forwards: ask about what will happen if you travel as part of the role.

It’s valid and important.

(I run a charity).

Well, you certainly won't get an ounce of sleep due to the anxiety factor alone. It's a no-no.

I actually think its totally different if you are doing it by your own choice to save your own money. For some the option to share a room at Uni or on a holiday may be the only way people could have afforded to go to Uni or Holiday.

That's true. I'm interested though that this was recently (maybe still is with some holiday companies) completely standard practice (you'd have to actively opt out and pay extra), yet so many posters are flabbergasted at the very idea - not just saying it wouldn't be their preference - but as if they hadn't heard of it ever being a normal expectation.

Adventure holiday companies typically booked single clients of all ages into same-sex twin rooms in the 2000s. There was probably an option to pay a single supplement but it wasn't the norm.

Still the case

Adventure holiday companies typically booked single clients of all ages into same-sex twin rooms in the 2000s. There was probably an option to pay a single supplement but it wasn't the norm.

It's a completely different thing, though. I sometimes choose to save money by going to a hostel and i rarely request a single room - i sometimes even go in the mixed-sex dorm if it's somewhere I really want to go but need to economise.

It is a completely different kettle of fish to choose how you spend your down-time to how a company/charity chooses for you to spend your down-time. The only time i have allowed my employer to tell me to share was in the military. Even then as i moved up the ranks i got to tell them to stuff that for a game of soldiers.

they've asked that volunteers share a twin bed room with another volunteer to keep costs down

The point is they have asked. They are aware that not everyone will be okay with it. Personally I would be fine if they were same sex pairs but I would definitely be checking that! Absolutely not a problem to tell them it is not okay with you, and they will probably put you in a single room. It might be that there are there are only a limited number of twin rooms anyway so some people would end up in their own rooms, even if everyone agreed.

I wouldn't have an issue with sharing - it's one night and it allows the charity to keep overheads down.

But then I work for a language education company which runs summer camps for kids and we have kids flying into a major Spansh airport on one day and then going on to their camp venues on the following day. This means they have to be supervised in a hotel overnight and due to the volume of kids (up to 300 at a time) we have them share rooms and ask the staff to share rooms too. This is firstly to keep costs down and secondly because we struggle to find hotels with large enough occupancy to accommodate the kids as well as the staff. We have standing arrangements with a couple of big hotels but even split between a couple of sites the more we can get people to share the easier it is to make bookings.

Would those saying single sex only be happy to share with Danielle muscato?

StealthPolarBear Nope! Actual female only

I did this at as a student in university at a conference I went to but wouldn't dream of doing it now in my late 30s! How awful!

It was an engineering conference and I was the only female from my school so had to room with two others from two different schools. The men I went with were able to stay together but one of them had to share with a stranger. He ended up waking in the middle of the night to his "roomie" peeing on the nightstand telephone just inches away from his face!

We were supposed to stay another night but we left the very next day because of that.

I've done it on retreats and 'tours' and I will do it again, I suppose in those circumstances it is part of the experience. It is perfectly normal not to be comfortable doing so.

@draughtycatflap

Hmm.... So, we've got some organs to collect from this bloke (who happens to be in a hotel room). Only, we're a bunch of lazy purile cunts and having too much fun elsewhere (too secret) to bother actually going out and doing the murdering ourselves.

We're thinking you might like the job? Obvs we'd pay you for your time. How does a brace of cat cocks and a box of dried turds maltesers suit you?

draughty

We need you!
We need you!
We need you as a new recruit!!

Apply below:

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It's not unreasonable of them, offer to pay for a room if you want privacy.

Don't forget the plastic sheeting

And Pritt Stick, we're short a pancreas

draughty have we made your first mission clear?

It's imperative (to the organ bucket) that you get this right!

daughty come to us, we will do you no harm.

I have shared rooms on holiday. People I have shared with include. Someone who set fire to the hut we were staying in. Another one who left the bedroom door open because there was no light in the corridor and she hadn’t got a torch. This meant anyone could have walked in and stolen our possessions. Correction my possessions as she had locked hers away. 3rd one who lost her butterfly net (natural history trip) so rifled through my case in case I had hidden it from her. This last one left her false teeth in the bathroom sink and snored so loudly I ended up sleeping on the balcony. I gave up after that and now when away pay the extortionate single room supplement.

I voted YABU as I have slept in dorms of various sizes (including a room for four) so I think I would be fine with by treating it as a bit of an adventure.

Although I don’t think I’ve shared a room with just one stranger. I think I would be fine with it. I have done solo travel which may colour my view.