To think British folk don't tolerate "privileged complaining" like the US?

[GinDaddy]

yes this is another topic partially related to Duke/Duchess of Sussex. If you don't like this, apologies in advance

I read a thread on here titled "The racists have won" regarding Harry and Meghan's withdrawl from public life.

AIBU to have a different perspective entirely? That their thin-skinnedness and endless preaching about the issuesdrew more vitriol towards them - and their whole approach was very badly suited to British life?

Bear with me :

Yes as a mixed-race (white/caribbean) person, I winced at the "outta Compton" headlines that greeted the latest addition to the Firm. I despaired at the "blood-thickening" comments that were made about Meghan's heritage and any children.

I'm not suggesting that any of this could simply be overlooked, and for sure it has an impact on a person's mental health.

Yet it precipitated dozens of column inches and angry statements from Harry, with strange and emotive allusions to his mother's death. It triggered that dreadful ITV stuff where Meghan says her and Harry are "existing, not living" - a comment which was extraordinary when you consider some of the challenges British people face. (Who is advising these people here?!)

Such commentary may be described as "woke" in the US. It might be considered on-trend to speak out and stand up to such things.

However in the UK, I feel it's more a country of deeds not words . To borrow a cricket analogy, being in UK public life is a bit like Test cricket. You can't come out on the attack or you'll lose your wicket within the hour. Instead, you will get bouncers hurled at you for the first few sessions of your innings, and you have to bat time and survive, dig in, and then start to accumulate once you've seen off a few.

AIBU to think Harry and Meghan could have ridden all this out if they had quietly gone about public life, working on a few select British-focused charities, supporting those closest to succession, and simply following the Duchess of Cambridge approach? You might be "Waity Katy" when we first meet you, but in time you'll be accepted because it's the British way to take the piss, then quietly treat you as a mate once time has passed.

I might be VU here as I realise they've had a rougher ride than most. But all this emotion seems to have led them into a corner where they've lashed out.

AIBU to think it's kind of in the British culture not to endlessly hand-wring in public in this regard?

Aren't the british people great. I wish other countries really didn't like hypocrisy.

Actually highlighting hypocrisy is a luxury of the liberal West. Try that stunt beyond EuroDisney? Expect a rude awakening.

Multi-millionaires find work boring and would rather fly round the world enjoying themselves and accumulating more wealth.

Unless they inherited their wealth, multimillionaires usually worked very hard for their riches.

“For all those suggesting Harry is behaving this way because the press killed his Mum and he wants to protect his family from the same fate may I remind you that his brother seems to be coping with it just fine.”

Short memories some people have. William took legal action against the press to protect Kate and specifically mentioned the way the paparazzi hounded Diana.

Meghan is now looking exceptionally happy in her public appearances- Harry not so much.

Love your cricket analogy and agree with you 100% about where they have gone wrong.

Actually highlighting hypocrisy is a luxury of the liberal West.

yes indeed but according to this post just Brave Little Britain does it - the little darling.

I don't think it's fair to say that just because someone is privileged ie rich, that means they can't be a victim of racism or bullying or abuse. In the end, they are human beings. Just because they are rich and famous doesn't mean they don't have the right to 'call it out'. It seems with some people (not referring to you in particular OP, just in general) that it's a pissing contest. It's like 'oh, people are mean to you? Too bad, I have 4 kids and live in a council house and work 3 jobs'. It's as though money means you have no right to be hurt, no right to complain, no right to call out harassment and abuse. Money means you rich lot should shut your mouths and just bear it. Money and body guards doesn't mean you cease to be human. #MeToo was meant to help with this, but it's seems we've reverted. If a woman (or man) is being harassed, abused, lied about, and racially attacked, why does their bank balance determine their appropriate level of outrage? We should be supporting people taking a stand against vile abuse and racism - not say, 'oh, but you have money and bodyguards, therefore you should accept it, because....poor people'. It is wrong. Racism is racism. Abuse and harassment is abuse and harassment. And should be called out no matter the race, age, gender or wealth of the victim. We should be standing with Meghan and Harry, cheering them on, not trying to tear them to shreds because they dared to call it out and say they are not taking it anymore.

Interesting hypothesis in the OP, however I complete disagree. Is it not utterly hypocritical for Brits to be angry about so called "privileged people" complaining because of the hard lot "ordinary" people have, while the so called "ordinary people" feel free to complain endlessly about their own hard crap with families, jobs, Christmas, sex, parking, neighbours, politics, pensions etc even though they are also privileged compared to most of the world? That in fact if you have a roof over your head, clean water to drink, have food on the table (even one meal a day), have access to education and healthcare, have a free vote and free speech, have laws that protect your life and liberty and a relatively stable govt then you are among the most privileged people in the world? If H&M should suck it up and quit complaining because of their privilege then by rights most, if not all, of the British public should likewise suck it up and quit complaining about anything ever because your pain and difficulties cannot possibly be real. Your privilege erases them, right?

As for me, I don't believe in competitive pain or hardship. The only privilege the RF have is money, everything else is a shit life with family relationships and personal wellbeing always second to the Firm. It's like a more polite version of the mafia. I think the press vitriol towards the royal women has been atrocious and the fact is a lot of people buy it so a lot of the public is also vile and thinks it's normal behaviour to be vicious to others for fun. I also have no respect for the Queen who apparently thinks silence towards abuse is the right solution - it's not. The British stiff upper lip is actually an unhealthy cultural adaptation that deserves to be challenged. What better way to do that than have some of the RF refuse to perpetuate unhealthy norms and refuse to accept the types of abuse that apparently Brits think is normal? It looks batshit from outside the culture.

The royal family is a pile of colonial crap anyways. Get rid and be done .
Welcome to canada citizen megs and Harry..

Hear she is back here tonight 🤷🏽‍♀️

Not reputable mind but who knows

www.google.ca/amp/s/globalnews.ca/news/6391332/meghan-markle-vancouver-island/amp/

Actually I don't think the royal family are privileged. Yes, of course they are in a financial sense but more broadly - no. Would I want that life? Always in the public eye? Waving and smiling like an insipid, anodyne buffoon? Not being able to jog to Nisa in my tracksuit bottoms for a creme egg? Not being allowed any opinions? No way.

I think the problem in the present world is that we all have too much time on our hands compared to the past and we also have a place to put our grouses without being held responsible.

Hence all the snowflake behaviour/ paranoia about identity / constant churning of 'stories' about celebs and royals. If you worked 14 hours down a mine you didn't care too much about the royal marriages, Life was demanding and why spend any free time bitching about others.

For a healthier life we need to stop all this. I'm listening to the news talking about the lack of mental health services for young people.
There was none when I was a teenager, but I would guess suicides were fewer.
Why can't we channel the energy we put into ranting about Harry and Meghan into, say , writing a novel, learning a language.
Think how much could be achieved by everyone! And how much more of a sense of achievement that would give in stead of an angry sense victory for posting your royal bashing.

For H & M to put out a statement saying they will try to become financially independent, when they must have £30 million in the bank is utterly tone deaf. No one has said they can't call out abuse in the media or online - they totally can object to this. But all that guff about existing rather than living (when they can take off on a luxury holiday for 6 weeks at a time) is like me going to the food bank and complaining about how stressful I find the weekly shop!

I'm not sure we were mentally healthier when people were working 14 hours down the mine either. We just didn't understand mental illness or talk about it.

Yes, the problem is they have chosen to ignore Palace and their own PR people when those advisers are very knowledgeable and wise and that is one reasonm they are in this mess. It would not have been very hard to spend Christmas with the Queen which might have been the last Christmas the Duke of Edinburgh is alive, go to church with them and then disappear early. It is not hard to bring the new baby to the hospital steps as you leave because that is our tradition and works welll but they have chosen to reject all that.

in that case I am not sure Prince Charles should keep up their funding from the Duchy of Cornwall.

Does anyone know if the Queen gave them ownership of Frogmore Cottage or just a right to live in it?

It will just be the right to live in it @Xenia, not own it.

They should never have married. It was a whirlwind romance between two people who have very little in common and having lived as a private citizen, doing as she wished, championing causes that mattered to her and speaking out freely her entire life was poor preparation for the very scripted and proscribed role of a member of the British royal family. I get that they were/are in love, but Prince William and their various friends were right to warn them against marrying. Even the press could see that it was never going to work.

There's an article in the Telegraph today that says she wanted to be Michelle Obama - not Royal. There may be something in that. Celebrity is not the same as being royal, after all, or living as part of the Royal Family.

The issue is not whether or not they can or should resist racism, as a poster upthread said . It's about how to do this appropriately and effectively. Stamping your feet and trying to railroad the Queen and the rest of the royal family into doing what you want by making a pre-emptive announcement is not the right way. You don't get to keep all the nice trappings of royalty and just get rid of the duties - it doesn't work like that at all.

Devereux - that's what I don't understand about the people defending her and saying it's racism etc. She can't get on with anyone. Her "friends" are all recent, she had no contact with the Clooneys and Oprah etc before Harry and she drops people all the time. Her life is starting to look like a script written by Piers Morgan.

Devereux1 owch, harsh but it looks like you’re absolutely right.

I am sure the Royal Family will do their best to smooth it all over but the couple should certainly take the advice of their PR advisers and if not from them from a family mediator as no matter what kind of family you are not spending Christmas with the famly in that way is not very kind particularly to older people. They could have flown in for a day or two, gone to the Christmas church service or just sometihng as a token offering of good will.

They also need to realise how far in advance things are planned (not even just in the Royal Family - even in our family we have just been trying to agree certain family event dates for the year, booked the June holiday etc)

I expect it will all settle down and be okay but many of us in the UK will remain unhappy at the way the couple have handled things.

I’ve got no problem with them opting out of their current lifestyle, in fact I have a lot of sympathy, but I do have a problem with the way they went about it, posting it in Instagram without warning their families. Forget the fact that they’re royal, why would anyone want to hurt their ageing grandmother in that way?

They do seem to be either arrogant or naive.

Maybe Meghan came on MN, complained about her MIL, and was advised to go lc with immediate effect?

It is also generational imo.

We do as US coastal culture does but with a time lag. I'm not impressed with them but I am known for being a bit retro!

Jux,I thought that too. Your baby, your way etc, etc.