Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

[Boyscandoballettoo]

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

1forsorrow I remember a friend of my DD's being teased by the school football heroes as a teenager. His comeback was not very PC, but definitely effective. "Hang on boys, I've spent the weekend surrounded by gorgeous, scantily clad girls, who, incidentally all think that I am super hot. You have been chasing an artificial pig bladder round a muddy field and then having a bath together. And I'm the "loser puff"? If you say so."
I bought him a t shirt for his birthday that said something like "If ballet was easy it would be called football".

MAFIL it certainly makes them good at putting their point across.

I wouldn’t define ballet as a sport, unless in a competitive environment. So ball room dancing is a sport when done competitively.

Anyway, who cares how it’s defined it’s a damn crime when these stereotypes still persist in 2020. The best lesson I hope I instil on my Son is do what makes him happy and not give two hoots what others think.

Just ignore all these comments from all the rude and stupid people, I would have thought that this kind of, Billy Elliot's Father attitude had stopped by now.

MAFIL, that's similar to the attitude of Scandinavian men who enjoy dancing because it gets them close to women.
They can't understand the average Brit male who'd rather do anything other than dance.

MAFIL, that's similar to the attitude of Scandinavian men who enjoy dancing because it gets them close to women.
They can't understand the average Brit male who'd rather do anything other than dance

That's not my experience. There's only 1 other boy in my DS's dance class. No different to when we were in the UK.

• shouldn’t be annoyed or surprised by rife sexism and comments ridiculing a toddler in a bloody ballet class? Really?

Why are you surprised in your post you stated you were basically a stepford house wife!! Your part of the problem love!

If ballet was easy it would be called football

It is possible to like both you know.

Your part of the problem love!

I’m allowed to want to stay at home with my children and still want equality for both genders... but that’s another discussion.

@LaMarschallin

Ok dear 😁

@MAFIL

HA!!! This tickled me

I’m often rushing my son from football practice to take him to ballet. He walks in the studio windswept in full kit with shin pads and changes into his leotard, shorts and ballet shoes and smartens his hair for his lesson.

I’m allowed to want to stay at home with my children and still want equality for both genders... but that’s another discussion

Sexes - not genders.

YANBU I've watched Billy Elliott 20 times and the end bit about 40 times. Men in ballet are amazing. My cousins boy goes.

Actually @Peterspotter - the whole point of my thread isn’t even about equality. It’s just about how misinformed it is to think that ballet is somehow a “women’s activity”.

Obviously, even if it were, boys should still be able to take part without ridicule. But the main point I was making is that it’s so stupid for people to say that it’s somehow a female sport/discipline/whatever people want to call it.

I am a SAHM and my husband is the sole earner. I am very traditionally feminine in dress and I do all the “traditionally feminine” things like baking etc (which I want DS to do too!). I really don’t come across someone who is against gender stereotyping: this whole situation has surprised me by the strength of my reaction

You are the stereotype

But now the people who you happily play the typical stereo roles with have said something you don’t like it. You are part of the problem.

Why are you taking him? I'm guessing that at age 2 ish he hasn't said 'hey mummy, I'd love to go to ballet, please take me'.

I took my to ballet at a similar age as he seemed to like dancing and ballet was the only dance class in the area for that age group. Quickly realised when there, that the other kids had long hair, pink leotards, tutus, pink shoes, and liked playing with dollies. DS managed a few sessions then decided it wasn't for him. He realised he was a bit and the others were girls.

I realised that at that age, all activities which involve jumping around, music and someone kind talking at the kids in a high pitched fun energetic way are what kids want - it doesn't matter if it's called 'ballet' or 'monkey music' or 'football tots' or whatever.

What does matter is that the DC feel comfortable, and for my DS comfort came in having other boys around him, helping him perhaps understand his identity and place in the world.

When DV are 7/8/9 and want to do ballet, that's when they really want it. Before that age, it's the parents making the decision

Sorry, typo, took my 'DS'

@NeedToGoToBedNow

I’ve answered this, several times.

@Peterspotter

I disagree 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Peterspotter

The people I “play” stereotype roles with (very weird way of saying do what I like and my husband likes and that’s why our marriage works - we are like minded and fit into roles we enjoy and complement each other’s) is my husband and only my husband. My husband fully supports DS doing ballet. My friends and my in laws I don’t have any sort of “gender stereotype role Play” (using your words) with and they are the ones with an issue.

But again, that’s not really the point. Because ballet is and always has been a unisex activity.

Do you think you will ever be able to move on from this OP?

Ballet is unisex but I imagine only something like 10 percent are boys, so still slightly unusual. Still, if its good enough for Prince George...!

@Trewser

It will bother me less Because, sadly, I assume I will grow a thicker skin and become more used to this sort of idiotic thing (assuming this son, or my next, take to ballet). But they doesn’t mean I won’t say something back every time!

Yes, you are right of course that it’s less common. And I am pleased that the reporter was called out for her comment re Prince George! Someone posted upthread about the protest dance done in Times Square / must watch that!

It won't be sad to grow a thicker skin. It will be positive! Then you can ignore the critics and enjoy your little boy.

But they doesn’t mean I won’t say something back every time!

Say something back. Every time. You'll have to use very small words though to counter the lack of thinking ability they're displaying.

@Trewser

I already enjoy my little boy! I meant it’s sad that I will have to grow a thicker skin, rather than society being less ignorant , but that’s life I suppose

Jacqueshammer

😂