Boys in ballet - really fucking annoyed

[Boyscandoballettoo]

Please excuse the ranty tone of this thread - I have just had enough! Took my male toddler to a ballet class, and the number of negative comments or comments laughing about it from so-called family and friends has been overwhelming.

Please can people tell me AIBU to think it’s a bloody unisex sport?!? There have always been male ballet dancers! I do NOT understand the ignorance over it and even if it were a female sport traditionally, how dare people be so bloody sexist and make fun of a boy for joining in.

I don’t know why but it’s really pushing my buttons!

If she's currently training for the worlds I wish her luck...it's going be a great year as it's the 50th anniversary. Sometimes i wish I was still competing rather than teaching!

I will do, thanks

This thread has been so interesting btw - I really love to read the comments of dancers and those with dancers as family members etc.

I have a huge amount of respect for ballet dancers. DH had never seen ballet before this winter, and was just amazed at the level of difficulty. It’s inspiring

I am curious to know why 4% think IAMBU

Jeez I'm sick of this gender-stereotyping crap, it's getting worse year on year. 30 years ago it would hardly have been an issue with my kids.
And sorry but the people commenting are idiots. Even if they have such a narrow view that they don't see why a boy can do ballet why the hell do they think it's ok to mock, laugh or lecture you about it?

I actually think you are calling it a sport to make it sound more masculine! sport = male and arts = female.... that's also wrong. Stereotyping is everywhere sadly :(

Even if they have such a narrow view that they don't see why a boy can do ballet why the hell do they think it's ok to mock, laugh or lecture you about it?

This is what my husband said. I’ve had a few “positive” comments too like “fair play to you” etc which I also thought was a bit silly initially, as if it’s some sort of big thing when it’s not. It’s normal IMO. But the rude ones are just what the fuck. How can someone laugh at a little boy etc it’s so fucking rude. I have just been calling people out on it aggressively and watching them backpeddle. Lots of great arguments on this thread to use.

DS2 acts and dances and absolutely loves doing both. He has been in a couple of professional stage productions since really getting into drama and dance in the past year; he's 11. At auditions for both acting and dance roles it's noticeable that there are usually far fewer boys there, potentially giving DS2 more opportunities.

We have always said to both of our boys how strong you have to be to do any type of dance. DS2 has never yet been laughed at or mocked for his choices. However referring to 'ballet' for an 18 month old does make me think of that episode of Peppa Pig when Madame Gazelle is the dance teacher and Peppa and Susie thump and crash around the room to delicate ballet music!

@maccaroni

I’ve answered this upthread. I’m not. Dance to me is a sport. I’ve done some ballroom As just a hobby - it’s fucking hard! It makes you sweat and you get out of breath. Ballet dancers are completely covered in lean muscle. For me it’s a sport.

I actually think you are calling it a sport to make it sound more masculine! sport = male and arts = female.... that's also wrong. Stereotyping is everywhere sadly sad

Erm no....not even a little bit. Sounds like you're engaging in a a little bit of stereotyping yourself here ....

I am curious to know why 4% think IAMBU

It would be pretty rare to get 100% support on an AIBU, I think.
Otherwise, why ask if you're BU?
Just put it on "Chat", say, and have a discussion about it.

96% support is pretty good.

My son did ballet until he was 8. He lived it. He gave up eventually as he was the only boy in the class and gayed all the boys outside ballet teasing him.
It's a sad world.
I'd love to put all those people who think it's so entertaining in a room with a, perfectly toned male dancer. No other sport gives you the same shape, strength, stamina or agility. From experience neither men nor women would find it funny. Men ( ) and women most certainly wouldnt 👀👀 🤩😛.
I was a dancer for years and have been married to one for 20 years. He never had a problem with it as an adult.

Please dont let those stupid people annoy you. Show your child all types of music and dance in tv and in real life if you can too. If your child was the next Carlos Acosta they wouldn't all be laughing so hard.
Wishing your son some happy feet

@LaMarschallin

I don’t want 100% support - I want to have proper arguments put forward for the opposing side!

@GlamGiraffe

Ah to be married to a dancer 😍 does he have the wonderful bum and thigh combo? 🥰

My daughter trained as a professional dancer so I have been around the dance world for many years. Unfortunately injury put an early end to her career but she is happily teaching now. There are so many misconceptions about ballet, many of them demonstrated on this thread, but I won't go over old ground. I will, however, share a comment from her PE teacher at her regular school before she went into full time training "X should consider taking up a physical activity outside of school, to build on the improvement in fitness she has attained in PE this term". She was doing upwards of 25 hours a week in the dance studio and 1 hour a week school PE at the time. The teacher wouldn't have lasted 10 mins in DD's ballet classes.
To answer the OP's original point, yes, it is ridiculous that people object to boys doing ballet. It is definitely a unisex activity and has huge benefits for anyone, regardless of age or sex. If your little guy enjoys it then encourage him, though I am afraid you will have to grow a thick skin, as sadly the comments you have already experienced are common. I think things are improving, but slowly I'm afraid. It does happen in other fields too. According to some, my son is a "sissy" because he plays a "girl's sport". He is a county standard hockey player. Though he has had the last laugh now his school has introduced hockey for boys and some of his detractors have found out the hard way just how fast he can hit a hockey ball.
I am afraid there is still a ridiculous amount of gender stereotyping in many aspects of life. But we all need to keep chipping away at that until it is equally acceptable for a boy or a girl to participate in anything they choose.
And, believe me, there are some big parental advantages to having a child who dances compared to many other activities. As I steel myself for another 2 hours stood shouting encouragement by a freezing pitch in the middle of nowhere tonight, I look back with very fond memories of the cosy studio waiting room and the splendid cakes in the cafe next to our local theatre. Yes, being a ballet mum has its downsides too, but it is largely warm and dry. And when you might be doing something multiple times a week for 15 years, that's a plus!

As I steel myself for another 2 hours stood shouting encouragement by a freezing pitch in the middle of nowhere tonight, I look back with very fond memories of the cosy studio waiting room and the splendid cakes in the cafe

This made me smile!! I’m sorry to hear of your daughter’s injury!

I don't think people call it a sport unprompted

I agree with this comment Cosmo.

If anyone asked me, I don't think I'd describe ballet (or any form of dance) as a sport, but I would certainly describe it as a discipline.

In my mind sport involves running up and down. I don't think snooker and darts are sports - I consider them games.

And before anyone jumps down my neck, I know that I have old-fashioned outdated ideas.

I'd find an adult ballet class if I were you and send your DH and the others to it if i were you. Theyd probably come home agog and realise what wimps they are!

@Boyscandoballettoo
He has a few good bits😉

I don't think people call it a sport unprompted

I agree with this comment Cosmo.

If anyone asked me, I don't think I'd describe ballet (or any form of dance) as a sport, but I would certainly describe it as a discipline.

But what i meant is that I wouldn't say ' i'm off to do my sport tonight' I'd say I'm off dancing BUT I would describe what I do as a sport if asked because it is! My style of dancing is a particular discipline of dance.

Wow that’s really bad ..... I offered to take our grandson to baby ballet as he adores dancing ...... received a less than enthusiastic response unfortunately.

For those who say it’s not a sport misses the point - not all of us are cut out for team sports - ballet dancers have an incredible level of fitness and strength plus real dedication to their art . They call football the beautiful game ..... sometimes it is and sometimes it isn’t . Ballet is always beautiful in my eyes . Rant away as YANBU !

Darts is an official sport.
But not ballet.

When I was younger (much) I did karate and tried ballet. Gave the ballet up, it was way too hard. Struggled a bit with some of the black-belt katas and with the ushiro geri kick, but was still a LOT easier for my body than dance.

@ohprettybaby why would I want to take my DS to something he doesn't want to do?!

@Boyscandoballettoo thank you, but actually in a way its probably the best thing that could have happened to her. It is fiendishly difficult to stay in consistent employment as a performer anyway, and as it happens she seems to have a real flair for teaching and is really enjoying it. Even though she hasn't ended up where she hoped when she was younger she is very happy and doesn't regret any of it. And nor do I.

My son did dance from when he was 2, he got all the usual stupid comments then he did a degree is nursing so got more of the same. His answer? He always enjoyed being outnumbered 10 to 1 by girls/women. Obviously not a great answer at 18 months or even 2 but I think it made some think at university.

I don’t want 100% support - I want to have proper arguments put forward for the opposing side!

Do you really?

Well, you probably won't get any (I don't think there are any, myself).
The 4% probably just clicked to be contrary (I haven't voted either way).

I'll sidle off now because to me, I'm afraid, you seem like you want an argument and you're only getting people who insist on saying they can see your point.