Is anyone else's dp/dh just really bloody annoying?

[Mashaandthebearr]

Every evening my dp complains about how cold he is, never wants the heating off.. And yet he's walking around the house in a t-shirt and shorts. God give me the bloody strength!!

Yesterday he left a big wet towel on my side of the bed, every time he removes his socks he rolls them off into balls and I have to roll the bloody things back out to wash them. He also does this weird thing with his teeth where he like, sucks through them over and over again after he's finished eating? His whole family do it, anytime I ask him what the actual fuck he's doing and why, he just shrugs.

So I'm in the mood for a bit of a winge, obviously, please tell me how much your dp/dhs annoy you, so I can prevent myself strangling him in his sleep.

The faffing
We have to take it turns going for a run at the weekend because of kids. If I make the mistake of saying he can go first I'll be lucky to get out before midday. I could finish mine in the time it takes him to get ready.

DP has two moods. Grumpy or irritatingly happy. Nothing in between!

He will also moan he’s cold and put the heating on when sat there in a T-shirt!

Needing the loo when dinners just being served.

Leaving things on the bin, next to the bin but never in the FUCKING BIN. In particular but not limited to empty toilet rolls.

I also have one that offers to ‘do’ the kitchen after a meal and doesn’t put the full dishwasher on, and if reminded, puts it on for 3 sodding hours.

Other than that, he’s a good egg.

All you lot with DHs that put their socks I the basket in a ball count yourselves lucky because my DH usually pairs his socks back together and pops them in the basket! Stops them getting separated apparently...

But the thing that I will murder him for is his NOT SEEING things. He manages not to see the full bin, the pots that need washing/ washing up needing to be put away, that the litter trays need emptying, that the highchair needs wiping after dinner among others. Then he gets all pathetic when I lose my shit and moan about it.

However I still quite like him so won't murder him yet. But might force him to live in the shed.

There's an alternative, you may want to read this: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3789560-The-Happy-Singleton-All-welcome

My ExH did the health one-upmanship thing.

When I was waiting for sinus surgery, every headache he had was a sinus problem. When I was diagnosed with arthritis in my spine, every backache he had was "bound to be arthritis". He'd be delighted when he got something wrong with him that I didn't have, like a vile fungal infection in his toenails.

The health thing wasn't restricted to me, either. He'd do it with friends and colleagues. And one time, when a mate and I were discussing how ovarian cancer is often mistaken for other things he asked "Like what?" and, when she replied "IBS", gaily informed us both that that was probably what was wrong with him.

While my mate was rolling on the floor, pissing herself with laughter, I assured him that he didn't have ovarian cancer and got a foul mouthed rant about how I think I know everything and I'm not a fucking doctor.

The look he gave me when I said "I don't need to be a doctor to know you haven't got ovarian cancer, because you haven't got any ovaries to have it IN" was pure rage.

Getting shot of him was the best decision I ever made.

My DH has Set Jobs To Do (easier than expecting him to notice what needs doing). One of them is to empty the dishwasher in the morning. To be fair, he often loads it too because, apparently, I do it wrong

Anyhow, he will remove things like casserole dishes and pans, walk across the length of the kitchen and leave them on top of the cooker. These things actually live in a cupboard by the dishwasher, so I walk all the stuff back again to put away. When asked why he does it, he doesn’t know. And why do I put them away? Because they'd sit on the cooker forevermore if I didn't - which he thinks is fine to do.

That’s what bugs me about lots of the things I’m reading here – that they do these things, get pulled up on it, don’t have an answer as to why, but still fecking carry on doing it!!

Dh has recently developed a new habit - the strangest yawn. He takes a deep breath, but instead of yawning, he goes “Ahhhh-la-la-la-la” - fuck alone knows what that’s about!

Refuses to eat with a knife, then struggles to cut up and chase his dinner around his plate using only a fork... drives me insane. Just use both!

Why on earth are so many men trying to be sicker and more unhealthy than their partners? That honestly baffles me, I would much rather be in my full health, thank you very much.

My dp is the opposite, if something is wrong with him I have to beg him to go see a doctor, he needs a tooth pulled the last 2 years, he has days where it genuinely really hurts him, but he'll just take neurofen and pretend he's not in pain. I thought he was annoying for that, but now I'm just greatful he's not trying one up my C section or claiming to have ovarian cancer

DH has dry eyes, has always had them. So he regularly gets very sore, irritated eyes. This puts him in a very grumpy mood because he's uncomfortable and self conscious about his red, yucky eye. Few months ago I bumped into an old college friend who is now an optometrist. She highly recommended some drops for DH to pop in his eyes just before bedtime. They need to be used every night, and are a really good preventative measure. She assured me he was likely to never get sore eyes again. Excitedly I bought some for DH. Does he use them? Does he fuck. He waits until his eyes are sore again, then very begrudgingly consents to put ONE drop in his eyes, every couple of days. Then smugly announces that the drops don't work, whilst STILL moaning about his really sore eyes.

Health one-upmanship is dreadful - there is no empathy or sympathy in them and this is how it displays!

ExH was shocking for it and, as well as reading this thread, has reminded me why I am so very fucking grateful he is an Ex.

My DH always eats as if he is starving and someone is about to nick his food - huge bite to begin with then another bite before he has even started chewing the first bite, wolfs it all down as quickly as possible, sometimes (if it's a sandwich for example) before he has even sat down with it, as he's walking from the kitchen to the table. Drives me crazy as it means I'm just about to start eating and he's cleared his plate.

My DH smashes food down like a labrador too.

At least with a Labrador you can train them to sit and wait until you tell them they can start eating. Even ddog, who is a brown Labrador (well known to be the dimmest of all labradors) will sit and wait for her dinner, before scarfing it in as few mouthfuls as possible!

@Thehop YABU for not making an example of him!
@TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead yours is lovely! Bless him.

Some of these are not funny at all, like the men deliberately waking their partners and children, and those of you living with selfish idiots.

Dirty socks rolled into balls, after work he falls asleep, work boots still on, boots on recliner. Burps and farts very loudly, both stink, encourages kids to join in who can fart or burp loudest. Snores outrageously, has machine from hospital but doesn't use. Whenever hoovers or mops downstairs he never does under dining table. Will cook but always needs me to dish. Whenever at shop whether local newsagents or supermarket, has to call me 273 times over what to buy. Crashes around whole house at 5am getting ready for work, leaving all lights blazing. I could go on and on.....

The look he gave me when I said "I don't need to be a doctor to know you haven't got ovarian cancer, because you haven't got any ovaries to have it IN" was pure rage.

Bloody hell what a dickhead

My bf takes so bloody long in the bathroom in the morning, literally 10-15 minutes while I’m hanging around waiting to brush my teeth so I can leave for work. I have no idea why he takes so long, even a number 2 doesn’t take THAT long.
He can’t make a bed properly - he doesn’t straighten the pillows and the pattern on the duvet won’t be symmetrical on the bed because the duvet is just sort of pulled over the mattress.
He can’t wash up properly - he’ll wash up the things but there’s always at least one item he’ll miss even though they’re all in the same place next to the sink waiting to be washed. When the last thing is washed he’ll just pour the water away and walk off - he doesn’t clean the bits of food out of the plug hole, clean and dry around the sink or rinse out the dish brush/cloths etc so it’s just left in a state.

He leaves a trail of items where he has been. Never puts anything away. He walks round with music playing on loud never wears earphones. I will be watching something on TV and he starts watching something on his phone on full volume. He's always cold and says it's not him it's me. DD complains when she asks him something he won't listen properly and gives an answer based on no information or facts. He's a lovely kind man though😁

Stacks the dishwasher incorrectly.
Complains of the cold while only wearing a t-shirt and jeans
Can't look for anything probably - if it's not right in front of him, I'm required to help.

My OH is annoying the shit out of me recently, I don't know what's happened either my fuse is a lot shorter than usual or he's been going to secret how to annoy the shit out of your OH lessons!
The other day just before work I said to him 'don't let the cat out I'm going soon, it's raining and she will be out there all day in the pissing rain with a bully cat out on the loose' (which has already beaten her up recently but luckily not enough for a vets bill!)
Anyway she's sat at the back door and he has to go out there to put a nappy in the bin again I remind him please don't let the cat out! 'Oh no don't worry I won't' what does he do? Opens the fucking door and the cat walks straight out!!! He didn't even remotely try and stop her or push her away from the door before opening it!!! I can't believe my eyes sometimes at how docile and stupid he can be! He just sort of dithers around the place making a nuisance of himself. Honestly I could go on and on with stories! Another quick one we are getting married soon the rsvp date for the wedding has gone I find out the other day he still hasn't even given invites out to 4 of his friends! He made out to me they were in the post months ago!! So bloody embarrassing!!

Following

My OH is a total baby when he's not very well and it drives me absolutely mad because when I'm not very well I'm expected to just get on with it

Recent example - I have bad allergies however since being pregnant, the medication and sprays I was prescribed are no longer suitable and safe. This means during the night my throat feels very blocked and phlegmy and I don't sleep too well. But I get on with it because there's no point moaning.

OH developed a cold yesterday and is a little bit blocked up. Queue him walking around the house breathing like he's having some kind of asthma attack and gasping for breath. I know what he's like and that he's being completely overdramatic but I mention it to him anyway and he just says he can't breathe through his nose AT ALL which he can because his mouth is closed so how would he be breathing otherwise? Haha. Anyway he goes to sleep and as soon as he drifts off the overdramatic breathing stops and I could see him sleeping peacefully, mouth closed and breathing fine through both nostrils.

It makes me wonder if he'd cope being pregnant for 9 months with bad allergies and a constant blocked throat like I have but I suspect after day two he would be looking into euthanasia to end his 'suffering'!

He also does very small annoying things which drive me MAD but I've stopped bringing them up now because it doesn't change anything work shirts in the washing basket with the sleeves rolled up, plates put back into the cupboard that aren't completely dry, empty shampoo bottles left in the shower, and he does that annoying thing with the toothpaste where he squeezes the top near the opening rather than roll the toothpaste tube from the bottom! He is however a fantastic man in every other way and I love him dearly but sometimes I just think what on earth are you doing?