Is anyone else's dp/dh just really bloody annoying?

[Mashaandthebearr]

Every evening my dp complains about how cold he is, never wants the heating off.. And yet he's walking around the house in a t-shirt and shorts. God give me the bloody strength!!

Yesterday he left a big wet towel on my side of the bed, every time he removes his socks he rolls them off into balls and I have to roll the bloody things back out to wash them. He also does this weird thing with his teeth where he like, sucks through them over and over again after he's finished eating? His whole family do it, anytime I ask him what the actual fuck he's doing and why, he just shrugs.

So I'm in the mood for a bit of a winge, obviously, please tell me how much your dp/dhs annoy you, so I can prevent myself strangling him in his sleep.

Are you ready... do you have a spare 5 minutes, my list is LONG. So log that I am splitting it into 2 posts.

1 of 2...

The insane amount of time he spends in the bathroom.

1.10pm, he says to me 'do you need the loo/the bathroom for ANYthing?' I say 'no,' because I don't.

Five minutes before 2pm, I need a wee and knock the bathroom door. 'WHAT?' he says. 'I need a wee' I say. Then I hear a big sigh 'You said you didn't need the bathroom!' I say 'Well I didn't need it, nearly an HOUR ago when you went in!'

When I get up to go for a wee, he sometimes blocks the doorway and says 'you can't get past til I get a HUG!!!' And opens his arms wide and grabs me and squeezes me, pushing his face against mine. I want to knee him in the bollocks .. seriously... sooooo annyoing!

Also, awful snoring yep. Had to sleep separately from him (in a separate bedroom,) for a decade now. I think I would have left him otherwise. I resented him so badly, in his deep heavy sleep, sounding like a kango hammer while I could barely scrape an hour's sleep each night.

Asking where's this and where's that??? Without even bothering to LOOK! He just wants me to look as he can't be arsed.

CONSTANTLY moaning about his health, and developing one ailment after another. Going to the doctors, specialists, clinics, nurses, etc, and having blood tests, EGCs and MRIs and all sorts, just to rake up NOTHING.

I feel my heart sink when I hear him say 'ooh, my back aches, ooh, I have a buzzing in my ear, ooh, I think I am in line for a heart attack, my heart is beating 'funny,' and 'I need to make an appointment at the docs, something is not right down below/in my head/in my arm/arse/ear/eyes...'

Cue a load of time wasted trailing around the doctors and various specialists... And yep, NOTHING WRONG......... AGAIN!

I called him a hypochondriac once and he went batshit, saying I was calling him a liar. I said 'no, I don't think you are lying about feeling ill, I believe you THINK you are.' 'OH!' he said, 'so I am imagining it now eh? I am imagining all the pain and my health problems.' I said 'yes.'

He didn't speak to me for the rest of the day, and didn't moan about anything else for about 3 weeks. But then the conversation we had became a distant memory and he started moaning again. He is 53, and he never ever went to a doctor til he was 46-47 (about 7 years back,) and now I cannot keep him away!

Also, like a few others on here, on the rare occasion I am poorly, or complain about any 'health issue,' my DH has to 'top-trump' it, with something 'worse' that he has (allegedly) got.

Some days, he follows me around the house - from room to room - chatting shit about stuff that I am not remotely interested in. I am trying to do things in the house and he keeps stopping me and interrupting me, just garbling on about fuckall.

Sighs, quietly, (when he's sitting in his chair,) and says 'aww, I dunno...' or tuts and huffs and puffs, or he suddenly laughs 'HAHAHAHAH!' and then goes quiet and looks at me, and waits for me to say 'what?'

2 of 2...

We watch a few TV programmes together that we both like, but he watches quite a few programmes that I am not interested in. When he is watching HIS programmes, he has this habit of (sometimes) narrating what he is watching on telly, or just chatting shit. I am usually on my laptop, or trying to read a book, as I am not interested in what he is watching! SO, he has put something on that HE WANTS, then chats through it anyway.

When I say 'I thought you were watching this!' he says 'I still wanna chat though.' So I have to put up with the shit that he is watching (that he has seen 100 times before anyway,) and still make myself available to make small talk about fuckall when I'm sitting with him.

I thank GOD for netflix, because I have started saying 'I am watching this programme while you watch this' and I put my headphones in my ears. (and put the laptop screen in front of me, blocking his face.) Every now and again, I see his fucking hands swaying about trying to attract my attention though...'

He has days when he will NOT STOP TALKING, and it's fucking drivel, and not anything with any substance, and I have to go out for a walk, (or to bed for an hour,) before I throw myself in front of a lorry!

He sometimes embellishes things, and even flat out LIES, just to make the situation/his life sound more exciting than it is. I have caught him out in quite a few trivial lies, but I usually don't confront him, as I think he does it to make his life sound more interesting to others. There have been a few corkers! But they are mostly very trivial. Whenever he tells me ANYthing now though, I do find myself thinking 'hmmmm, did that actually happen though?'

Doesn't want to plan anything on days he has been at work, as he is 'so tired,' but doesn't want to plan anything on his days off either, as he 'needs to rest...'

Moans like a bitch about being 'left out' when I plan stuff/do stuff and exclude him, but then moans an equal amount when I INclude him, because he has 'had a few tough days at work,' and was 'hoping to rest for a few days...'

Five years ago (at age 48,) he cut his hours from 40 a week to 35 and then 2 years ago, from 35 a week to 30, and he STILL moans he 'works too much.' He is 53, not fucking 93.

Apart from work, he never leaves the house or goes ANYwhere without me, and has no friends or social life. When our 2 DC were little/young/at home, the fucker was constantly out doing one of 3 or 4 hobbies he had at the time, or at work, or at the pub, leaving everything to me. And NOW he won't leave the house.

Constantly moans and bitches that our two 20-something DC are closer to me, and confide in me more, and ask me to meet up more than they do him. (Hmmm, probably because I did 95% of raising them while you were rarely there, as you were always 'busy.) You reap what you sow mate.

He moans about his job every week, and how he hates it sometimes, and yet in the 16 years he has been there, he has never ever ever ONCE applied for any other job. And now he's in his mid 50s, he says 'it's too late for me to start over anywhere else now... No-one wants an old git like me.' He started moaning about his job and how he is pissed off with it, when he was in his late THIRTIES! He could have started looking elsewhere then, but nope, he has left it and left it, and now says 'it's too late....'

He also thinks he will never get to retire as he will DIE first. Probably be dead before he reaches his late 50s. That's what he has predicted, you know, with ALL the 'illnesses' and 'ailments' he keeps getting.

'Why are you with him'? Some may ask. Because I have been with him 35 years, and have nowhere else to go, and very little other family. And I have seen working-class women in their mid 50s - like me, (who are on very average salaries like me,) really struggle on their own when their marriage breaks down, or they or their DH leaves, and I have no intention of putting myself in that position.

DH may be an annoying twat half the time, and he may have dropped his hours to 30 a week, but I am living a fairly comfortable life with his wage as well as mine. And he is OK SOMEtimes, and can be a good laugh sometimes, and good company when we're out /on holiday, and can be very supportive when I need him to be. So I'll keep him for now. if he leaves, I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Doubt he will though as he knows where he is well off.

Oh and btw, a poster said way back in the thread 'oooh I guess you women are all perfect...' Well no I am not, but I KNOW that I am not as annoying as he is (or CAN be.) Even our DC have said quite a few times that he irritates them (sometimes,) and can be quite annoying.

I mean, so LONG I am splitting it into 2. (obvs.) (Not log!)

Oh, I also wanted to add that when he has watched something (and I haven't seen it,) he keeps taunting and teasing, and saying 'you'll be SO shocked when you see what happened/who it is..' And 'I won't say much but......'

And I am like 'SHUT UP!' It's like he feels he has this 'power' over me coz he knows what happened and I don't! (YET.) He has given it away a few times (with his not-so-subtle teasing and 'hints,') and has ruined that episode of the show for me.

Also, (sometimes,) when it's Christmas, or my birthday, he starts saying 'oooh, I bet you can't WAIT to see what I've got you,' and 'you will be SO thrilled when you see this BIG SPECIAL AMAZING gift I got ya.' 'Bet you will NEVER guess what it is. Go on guess. You will NEVER get it. NEVER!'

When he DOES get a 'wonderful amazing gift/surprise' that I was not expecting, it is rarely anything asked for, or wanted, and I am rarely 'thrilled.'

Dh badly hurt his knee mid December, had to take a week off work. Unheard off. Wouldn't go to Dr's. Had 2 weeks off at Xmas, wouldn't phone Dr's for appt. Updated me every night how it was getting better, oh it's sore again, oh its getting better x1million.
When he went back to work 6th Jan I phoned Dr's for a physio appointment... In 3 weeks.

Am still getting the nightly updates....

Mine kicks off his socks and leaves them in the bed! I'll feel something on my foot and it's his fucking sock! The washing basket is mere cm's away!

When he makes our DD weetabix for supper he leaves the bits all over the side! How hard is it to quickly clean it up?? He used to do the same with formula! Infuriates me! I think he thinks because he's doing the massively difficult job of giving her supper, I should clean up after them

Not going to happen pal!

DP has every symptom I have got. As soon as I say I have eg a.sore head, yep he has got one too. Once came in to a conversation between my sister and I and as normal said, ooh I've had those symptoms - we were talking about period pain!!! My sister and I can't look at each other if we are talking about anyone being I'll as he always says, oooh I've got that !!! Best example ever however is we were talking about a nearby hospital and he says, yes but you didn't need to drive an hour there and hold your bladder for an hour......my response, no you're correct but I did have to go every fucking day for 28i days to get radiotherapy- I win !!!

The more posts I'm reading the more I'm thinking "oh yeah, he does that too, the fucker". I do wonder how long his list would be about me....

Great thread!

DH sings. Loudly. All the fucking time. I can't hear the TV and he often scares unintentionally with loud bursts of song.

Also he sings the same song clip over and over for several weeks then changes it to something else.
These past few weeks has been Bon Jovi Living on a prayer.

He's lovely in every other way, but Jesus Christ he's too loud 😫

made his gums bleed a bit and he came home limping

@SharkInfested, I heart you for this

1. Refuses to put the dishwasher on "it's not full" when there's only really room for one mug and no space for the dishes from the meal we'll be eating in 2 hours. Tuts at me if I put it on.

1. Uses the dishcloth to wipe up a spill then leaves it in a soggy dirty crumpled mess on the worktop. Wonders why it smells...

1. Never takes empty hangers out of his wardrobe so that they can be used for clean shirts from the wash (the rest of us put our empty hangers in the utility room by the washing machine) Wonders why his shirts are on cheap plastic hangers rather than his expensive wooden ones...

1. Turns off all the lights downstairs when he goes to bed - even if I'm still sitting watching tv.

1. Never puts the loo lid down or shuts the downstairs bathroom door when he comes out - so we all get to smell what he did in there (particularly lovely when we have guests)

1. Pees standing-up but with the loo seat down, then wipes the seat in case of splashes. Fine, but it doesn't deal with the splash back under the seat. And he never ever actually cleans the loo...

1. Helps the kids with school stuff without finding out if he's actually using the correct syllabus/exam board/whatever, then gets cross if I try to correct him.

More later....

My exH had many of these habits, but the worst one was the groping at any opportunity. He used to come up behind me when I was preparing veg and grab my boobs. He will never know how close he came to getting the knife I was holding stuck in his hand!
He also had sensitive elbows and hated having them touched, so if I was able to grab them when he was groping I would. Then he would be all hurt that I'd grabbed his elbows when I KNEW that he hated it. He knew I hated being groped but still did it 😂

Yes. Won't buy new clothes. Wears horrible old baggy shorts in the house in winter and wears them in public in summer. Has same old pair of trainers, won't get rid of old hi fi system from the 1980's it is stuck in our living room, won't change to a 4 door car so our giant teenager is squashed and struggles to get out of 2 door car 😠

Mine has a bad cold right now. He’s dying obviously

Yet I was in hospital all weekend with pneumonia...

He’s been in bed for 2 days. Whilst I’ve been doing the school run and every other bloody thing!!

I separated from dp in September after 8 years together of putting up with annoyingness. This thread confirms that my life is better and single life is the best

Mine likes to come over and grope my boobs whilst making a honking noise. I’ve told him repeatedly it makes me fancy him a little bit less every time he does it but he still persists

We all have our own laundry baskets

That feels really odd to me. I couldn't be bothered with having multiple baskets and the room for them. One basket and once it's got a load's worth in it goes on. Admittedly I do the best majority of it but then I do only about 10% of anything to with food planning, buying, preparing or cleaning up.

@2020bluegirl I hope that feels better. I do enjoy a good rant myself

It does feel better weirdly @ilovetolurk

So so many but the health one up manship is probably the worst.

When I was pregnant with our first son, we both came down with a d&v bug. Bit nasty but I had everything in the house to help see us through. I'm a former hcp so am aware of escalating symptoms...

Fast forward to 36hrs later. He decides he's doing much worse than any other human being and should see a doctor. I tell him that as it's clearly contagious, (it was going around our area at the time) going to the walk in would be stupid as he could potentially infect others who were more seriously unwell. I told him if he really needed peace of mind then call nhs direct for advice (knowing they'd tell him that we were doing the right things and it would pass)

Was listening to him go through the questions and they asked him the inevitable "any chest pains?" He didn't but replied "yes" KNOWING FULL WELL that meant an ambulance dispatch!!! (His father is notorious for this kind of thing and often pulls out the "chest pains" card if he doesn't feel he's being taken seriously enough) the advisor told him there was none in our area so if safe to travel to a&e please do so immediately, otherwise an ambulance was going to blue light down the motorway to attend to him!

I was absolutely fucking livid and pleaded with him not to waste time and resources on a standard d&v bug. But no. He convinced himself it was necessary.

In waiting for the paramedics, so convinced was he that he was going to be admitted to hospital he made me pack an overnight bag- THEN COMPLAINED HE DIDNT LIKE THE TOOTHPASTE I PACKED!!! I genuinely thought if they didn't take him away, I'd murder him.

Unfortunately for him, the paramedics arrived and told him hospital was completely unnecessary. I think in seeing me seething with rage and explaining my former career, they were brilliant. They gave him an absolute dressing down, broke down for him the costs of attending and how he could have potentially deprived someone in need of a valuable service. I've never seen anyone look so ashamed! The look on their faces when it became obvious I was experiencing the exact same symptoms with the added Bono's first trimester pregnancy...

Thankfully, although still a massive drama queen, no ambulances have been called since! Dickhead that he is! 😡

@Caramel78

Mine likes to come over and grope my boobs whilst making a honking noise. I’ve told him repeatedly it makes me fancy him a little bit less every time he does it but he still persists.

Sorry that did make me laugh a little bit! (I think it was the word HONKING.) It's totally NOT funny though.

MY DH used to have a habit of doing this! Why do they do it, and why do they think it's funny? It's not only not funny, it can be painful sometimes too. Boobs can be tender sometimes.

They must think it turns us on. Like when they grab us and throw us on the bed, and start groping and squeezing. Such a fucking turn-off.

DH is one of the most careless people known to man, and it irritates me beyond measure. He is always damaging everyone else's things, ornaments, glassware, favourite mugs, scratched CDs etc. And then lies through his teeth about it.

He always denies all knowledge of the item's fate, but I know it's him because I've found the broken evidence of 'disappeared' objects in the bin before. He never seems to damage any of his own stuff though. Until yesterday. When he smashed his much-loved decorated pint glass, one that dc gave him for a milestone birthday several years ago. He couldn't deny it, because he'd left it on the floor, and kicked it over right in front of us. Made him miserable all evening.

I felt a wry sense of deep satisfaction come over me. Karma.

*bonus

Mine does humming, even when he is watching the tv. He also annoys me by reading bits out of the newspaper such as do you know how old Vera Lynn is? or where is the most expensive house in the uk? Then he spends ages with the SKY+ controller and says I've recorded some really good programmes for you. Unlikely.
Also asks is that your phone? When it is obviously ringing/beeping.
Luckily I can always take the dogs out for a walk.

@Bobbysgal (your post from 16.39)

WOW, that is super annoying!

My DH did something similar one Friday evening around 9pm. Said he has a 'bad heart' and was clutching his chest, saying he thinks he is on the cusp of having a heart attack. He made me call 999, and say he thinks he is in serious trouble. #hypochondriacalert

It was a very busy night for the ambulance services, (RTAs and people collapsing,) and the lady on the phone said he would be best going to A & E. I said 'you better get some stuff together, and I cannot drive you as I have had 2 glasses of wine.... I will book you a taxi...'

'TAXI?' he said. I continued.... 'Yep, and it will be a long wait in the hospital, coz it's Friday night. Take an overnight bag in case they keep you in, and keep me informed.'

'Errm, wait, are you not gonna come with me?' I said 'nope. I was up at 6am, and only got 5 hours sleep last night. I am very tired. You will be OK. The hospital is only 10 minutes drive away.' His face dropped... 'well, wait a bit before booking a taxi' he said. 'There may be an ambulance free soon, then at least you can come with me.'

I said 'no I said I am not coming.' His face went sullen and dark and he started sulking. 'Don't worry, I'll just stay here and die then.'

I said 'For fuck's sake, if you are THAT ILL, get a FUCKING TAXI to the hospital! It's ten minutes drive and you do NOT need me there.' What's more, I don't want to spend 5 hours waiting with you in A & E.'

He literally said 'don't bother then! I won't go! I will just go to cunting bed' then stormed off yelling 'you'll find me dead in the morning stone cold cunting dead!' and slammed the door like a bratty child, and went to bed.

Stupid twat. Couldn't have been THAT ill. He just wanted the attention, and a load of fuss, and when he wasn't getting it, he backed down and went to bed. And SHOCKER, he was FINE the next day!!!

I would, of course, be supportive if he was GENUINELY ILL, but he never is!