Can I refuse to discuss my reasons at my DCs next immunisation?

[letsjog]

I feel like a failure having to even ask this.

I have a DC overdue for their most recent immunisation. They were also on a late schedule with the 2 previous rounds.
The reason behind this is that my first DC had a very worrying reaction the day after their immunisations and ended up with a same day GP app, followed by a quite urgent referral to the hospital for the day after which the symptoms went away on their own and the doctors basically said "we don't know what, why or how this happened but they look ok now." and sent us home.

This has basically made me a nervous wreck every time a letter comes through about DCs immunisations. I know it's stupid and irrational. I always make an appointment in the end but it takes me some time to come around to it and I spend the days before and after with a lump in my throat and watching for any symptoms and checking them at night.
I have mentioned it at my DCs previous immunisations only for it to be met with "oh well that's not great anyway it's important for them to have them so let's do this" - I don't want to discuss this any further with any GPs I just want them done and dusted.

I have just booked DCs next ones and the receptionist on the phone sounded very shocked and outraged that they're late with them. She asked my reasons which I wouldn't go into and she implied that SS could be involved if I am not cooperative/forthcoming.

I am now a complete and utter nervous wreck in anticipation for the appointment.
I feel like I have failed as a mum to my wonderful LOs and I don't deserve them.
I really don't want to be going into the reasons behind this with the GP/ nurse again as I feel like an idiot.

Can they really refer me to SS if I refuse to discuss my reasons for late immunisations?

Immunisations arent compulsory so I don't see why SS would be at all interested especially if you are getting them but at a slower pace.

You probably were not in the state to, because she threw you into a panic, but I would have asked her on what grounds she thought ss would even be bothered.
It's rediculous of her to say that to you when you have obviously made the appointment!
Ignore her honestly, you have nothing to worry about.

I think you’re overthinking this. My youngest dc was a month late. Because the GP made not one - but two - scheduling errors and kept cancelling on us. No one ever even mentioned it. Just get it done and don’t engage if they try to question you.

I would make a formal complaint about the receptionist threatening you with SS over you exercising your legal rights.

Cheeky bitch, definitely complain about the receptionist I would make a huge stink about tyat. Disgraceful little bully

DD2 had her 13 month vaccinations over a year late. In that time, HV encouraged but accepted our reasoning (she had a bad illness at 7months old, and didn't fully recover until then). But the general message was- on time was optimal, but better late than never.

I definitely wouldn't engage with a receptionist at the GP surgery. They could be as shocked as they blooming liked and I wouldn't volunteer any information. However, I can't see why you cannot just say to the doctor or nurse (if asked) that you were hyper-anxious in view of the reaction last time that involved a hospital referral. It would be preferable for them to be reminded about the previous reaction in case a similar situation recurs.

Well, they could of had a cold after cold, and you felt that they weren’t fit enough for the immunisations. But at least it’s better late than never! Cheeky cow!

I'd complain about the receptionist but might it be worth speaking to your GP/nurse about it? I'd imagine that you're not the only person who has a fear, especially with your previous experience.

That is really, really appalling and against all rules of informed consent, which is absolutely paramount in medicine.

Please, please make a complaint because (while I am absolutely for immunisations) I feel very strongly that parents/carers should know it is THEIR decision.

It reminds of the near bullying tactics the primary school used when it was nasal flu vaccine time.

They were sending snotty reminders well before the date they had asked the consent forms to be in and it really annoyed me as I knew some parents would be thinking they HAD to get the vaccine. Obviously it's up to parents/carers to know their rights, but not all do.

she is ridiculous to say those things to you and threaten you. Your reasons are your reasons, the response to her is its none of her business and if the GP wants to talk to you about fair enough but it will be clear from medical histories why and that is not her remit

They don't refer anti vaxxers to social services so I wouldn't worry about that! Better late than never surely! Hope your DC (and you!) copes well with the next ones.

Ignore the receptionist. You don’t have to give reasons and it’s understandable that you’re nervous after your other child’s reaction. Tell the nurse or doctor that your DC’s sibling had an unexplained reaction and make sure they note it on their records.

Her approach is totally counterproductive if it has made you more anxious about vaccinating rather than less. Just ignore her.

I would also be concerned if my child had a reaction in the past. Back in the day this was reason enough to stop vaccinating, but sadly these days you just get labelled antivax and get bullied into doing it anyway. Do what is best for you and your child.

I know at least 2 people who never gave their children any vaccines. No referrals to social services.

I must add that I know the odds of serious complications after immunisations are very slim indeed and the fact that I know two is nothing more than a coincidence and certainly not representative of percentages based on how many babies I’ve known. However, there are risks, and if you’ve had a frightening experience with your child or one that you know then it’s perfectly understandable to be nervous and reluctant about going back for more.

Wow. Receptionist needs reporting for her ill-informed threats & intimidation. She needs retraining on the facts of parental consent and generally on how to liaise with patients in a professional non-judgmental manner!

Social services will not get involved because optional vaccines are later than advised.

My daughter just had her pre school booster - two years late! I was very embarrased but it's just something I kept putting off /missing reminders for etc - eventually she was actually very ill (not related to an immunisiation) and the nurse said - go get this bloody vaccination or you will regret it if she gets sick again.

You are massively overthinking this.

I’m normally one to defend GP receptionists, but I can’t believe she implied SS would get involved.

Speaking as a GP, given the amount of paperwork involved in a safeguarding referral, if we reported the parents of every child late with their vaccines I don’t think I’d ever get anything else done. I certainly wouldn’t have time for any appointments.

Categorically, you will not be reported to SS for your children being late on their vaccines.

I really think you are overthinking this and that it is adding to your anxiety and the receptionist's inappropriate reaction has just added more stress.

I had my kids in Sweden where the immunizations are later and more spread out than in the UK (3months, 5 months and 12 months instead of 2,3 and 4 months in the UK). MMR is not given until 18 months and nobody batted an eyelid that DD1 was 6 months late getting it.

Can they really refer me to SS if I refuse to discuss my reasons for late immunisations?

They will not refer you to SS.

If you don't want to take your DC to be immunised, please cancel the appointment so that the time slot can be offered to somebody else.

Definitely report the receptionist. A midwife once did this to me ( because I wanted to take my baby home to a more relaxed environment to establish feeding supported by my midwife mother). I put in a formal complaint and was told she had been completely out of order. Some people don't understand the power their words have when trying to get you to do what they consider to be the right thing.