Can I refuse to discuss my reasons at my DCs next immunisation?

[letsjog]

I feel like a failure having to even ask this.

I have a DC overdue for their most recent immunisation. They were also on a late schedule with the 2 previous rounds.
The reason behind this is that my first DC had a very worrying reaction the day after their immunisations and ended up with a same day GP app, followed by a quite urgent referral to the hospital for the day after which the symptoms went away on their own and the doctors basically said "we don't know what, why or how this happened but they look ok now." and sent us home.

This has basically made me a nervous wreck every time a letter comes through about DCs immunisations. I know it's stupid and irrational. I always make an appointment in the end but it takes me some time to come around to it and I spend the days before and after with a lump in my throat and watching for any symptoms and checking them at night.
I have mentioned it at my DCs previous immunisations only for it to be met with "oh well that's not great anyway it's important for them to have them so let's do this" - I don't want to discuss this any further with any GPs I just want them done and dusted.

I have just booked DCs next ones and the receptionist on the phone sounded very shocked and outraged that they're late with them. She asked my reasons which I wouldn't go into and she implied that SS could be involved if I am not cooperative/forthcoming.

I am now a complete and utter nervous wreck in anticipation for the appointment.
I feel like I have failed as a mum to my wonderful LOs and I don't deserve them.
I really don't want to be going into the reasons behind this with the GP/ nurse again as I feel like an idiot.

Can they really refer me to SS if I refuse to discuss my reasons for late immunisations?

How late are we talking?

It's true that not accessing medical help for your child can be a safe guarding issue. Im not entirely sure why she thought it necessary to tell you that. I think she was maybe explaining why she had to ask you for details.

I think the receptionist was in the wrong btw and I'm sure you can refuse to expand on your reasoning.

I'm just wondering if you need some support in addressing a type of health anxiety as your tone in the OP seems very concerned about other people's perceptions.

Good luck with it all!

Oh my goodness, OP. I am married to a GP and all of our kids were late with their boosters. I deliberately spread them out. All of mine had their MMR closer to 2 years of age. Never got any hassle in the UK for that decisions and above all, my DH didn't bat an eye. DC3 got his last booster when he was almost 5 (he was meant to have it at 3.4 years). I simply forgot that one! Lame excuse, but hey, it's the reason. I got no hassle whatsoever. It's not like you're years and years behind and even if you are, better late than never. I cannot believe the receptionist spoke to you the way he/she did. That is so out of order and you do need to complain. That's just bad and incorrect advice re: social services.
I am pro vax but like most mums, I am a reluctant vaxxer. My kids are all up to date. But yes, I have some concerns. I think a lot of us do.
What you might consider doing is booking in with your GP to discuss your LO's reactions. Perhaps your GP will give you some good guidance and put your mind at ease. It's worth a discussion, OP.

The receptionist had no business saying this. You would not refer to SS. Lack of vaccinations would only be an issue to social services if it was one of a number of factors that might be seen as not attending to the childs health. For eg lack of vaccs + dermatitis caused by untreated head lice + un cared for excema + not attending health appointments,

It seems that you have an anxiety problem, most and foremost, which is causing you to delay vaccinations and to react to the receptionist's comments.

I might complain about the receptionist for mentioning SS regarding vaccinations, though. It's not her place to make such threats.

I'm sorry this has happened. I think the anxiety is a reasonable reaction to what came before, though the degree of anxiety means that it might be worth talking to a medical professional about how vaccines work, etc.

Please try to avoid listening to scaremongers. This thread will probably turn into a debate about vaccinations, which will not be useful for you and will scare you more. (So, for example, the line above about HPV vaccine is really not true--of 80 million people who took the vaccine, 183 were reported to have died, and almost all of this was due to entirely external factors (e.g. accident, homicide). www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/vaccines/hpv/hpv-safety-faqs.html) I generally urge everyone not to derail the thread with debates about this.

So ignore scaremongers, and also ignore anyone who yells at you for not getting them vaccinated faster. Your concerns are reasonable, if not entirely rational, and you're doing just fine as a mum.

Your child your choice surely. I have a child with ASD and he has had his vaccines spaced out over several years after a bad reaction to an early vaccine. Ditto my DC3 who is NT but also had a bad reaction after his first baby jabs resulting in a hospital admission (he was fine after a few hours). In fact both were in their teens before they completed the jabs.

No one has ever raised that with me but if they did I would have told them where to get off.

This was my ds2 OP, he caught up in the end.
It was the gp who told us to wait for the boosters.
iirc he was all caught up at the end of Y1.
Our others had no problems at all, but it brought on Asthma attack and allergies, quite severe.

Good God, I cannot believe my post has been deleted. Which talk guideline did I break exactly by stating my actual experience of something? And who reported it?

Report the receptionist for telling lies and threatening you. Social services barely have time to pay attention to the children who genuinely need it.

Oh dear lord @babba2014 clearly regurgitating the noises made inside the echo chamber Do you actually know what is in vaccinations and understand science? Obviously you don't...

@letsjog you will not be referred to ss for being late with dc vaccinations, they're not compulsory yet. They should be, but so far no legislation exists in the UK...

Also correlation and causation aren't mutually exclusive. Your dc could have taken ill at any time, it could be a coincidence, or your dc could be one of the small percentage who has an adverse reaction, but just because one something effects one of your children, it does not mean that all your children will be the same. At least your child made a full recovery, and now has antibodies against potentially some very life changing diseases.

I am stunned. Mumsnet has really, really changed, hasn’t it?

Just to add here that it might be worth asking a GP for a referral to paediatrics if a serious reaction is what you are worried about. The paediatrician may have the details of what happened in the hospital last time. If they think there is a risk of reaction the immunization can be done in the hospital at their request. This might reassure you?

I’ve read all the potential reasons for post deletions and I can’t see a single justifiable reason for deleting my post. ‘We are all for free speech’ my arse.

@letsjog you will not be referred to ss for being late with dc vaccinations, they're not compulsory yet. They should be, but so far no legislation exists in the UK... hmm

Retroflex, should be compulsory in your opinion.

I couldn't disagree more. No invasive procedure of any kind should be compulsory in a free and democratic society. Wind your neck in.

Can they really refer me to SS if I refuse to discuss my reasons for late immunisations?

No. And please make sure you make a complaint to the practice manager. The receptionist is out of order and clearly needs to be told to wind her neck in.

Not good practice for the receptionist to have behaved that way. Definitely raise it.

Oh I know it must be absolutely terrifying because of the reaction that happened last time, bad reactions are rare however so it more than likely wouldn’t happen again but I would definitely watch out for it and also mention it at every vaccination so they can offer you some advice/comfort. The main thing is that they get these vaccinations, rather a bad reaction now then a deadly disease in the future.

I would report the receptionist as well, she had no business asking you your reasons and she definitely cannot get ss involved for a late vaccine because they are not compulsory anyways.

I agree report the receptionist

I do think you should also ensure the adverse reaction your DC had is in their medical records. This will help your DC in the event of another reaction. So I would discuss that but with the nurse practitioner who does the vaccine itself. You don’t need to say anything to a receptionist.

The referral to SS is one teeny tiny piece of a huger puzzle.

If there were other things like lots of injuries, absence from school/health visitor, weight issues and general issues otherwise, the lack of vaccinations would be something that would add to that, not be the one major trigger.

The receptionst WAY overstepped the mark. You can choose not to discuss anything with her if you feel it's intrusive. I would ask to speak to Practice Manager tbh

If I were you I would make an appointment with the HV and perhaps doctor and see what options you have.

You need to lodge a complaint about the receptionist. That is wholly wrong and unacceptable.

I'd make a complaint about the receptionist no way should she have implied that. My own gp once told me that it's rare that children are bang on schedule as illnesses especially around this time of year throw the schedule out.

I doubt SS would get involved but Nurseries and Schools can (and should IMO) bar children who are not immunised.