Can I refuse to discuss my reasons at my DCs next immunisation?

[letsjog]

I feel like a failure having to even ask this.

I have a DC overdue for their most recent immunisation. They were also on a late schedule with the 2 previous rounds.
The reason behind this is that my first DC had a very worrying reaction the day after their immunisations and ended up with a same day GP app, followed by a quite urgent referral to the hospital for the day after which the symptoms went away on their own and the doctors basically said "we don't know what, why or how this happened but they look ok now." and sent us home.

This has basically made me a nervous wreck every time a letter comes through about DCs immunisations. I know it's stupid and irrational. I always make an appointment in the end but it takes me some time to come around to it and I spend the days before and after with a lump in my throat and watching for any symptoms and checking them at night.
I have mentioned it at my DCs previous immunisations only for it to be met with "oh well that's not great anyway it's important for them to have them so let's do this" - I don't want to discuss this any further with any GPs I just want them done and dusted.

I have just booked DCs next ones and the receptionist on the phone sounded very shocked and outraged that they're late with them. She asked my reasons which I wouldn't go into and she implied that SS could be involved if I am not cooperative/forthcoming.

I am now a complete and utter nervous wreck in anticipation for the appointment.
I feel like I have failed as a mum to my wonderful LOs and I don't deserve them.
I really don't want to be going into the reasons behind this with the GP/ nurse again as I feel like an idiot.

Can they really refer me to SS if I refuse to discuss my reasons for late immunisations?

I wouldn't feel bad at all - its not like you are not planning to vaccinate your child at all.

My father, my sister and I all had all our vaccines and all three of us had exceptionally strong reactions. My sister's reactions to 'live' vaccines was so strong that she had to take them in fractions (0.1 per week) as the first time she received a whole one she ended up in a hospital and barely made it through - immunologist said that she had a particularly strong immune system reaction and recommended we do it the same way once we have children of our own. Fast forward 30 years and I just became a mum. My child received two vaccines already and is scheduled to receive the rest of them BUT I insisted on that being under the supervision of an immunologist who also recommended giving them in fractions due to family history of strong reactions. Apparently it is still not established if it is genetic predisposition or just a weird individual reaction but the very fact that three family members (direct relations) had such strong reactions is sufficient to be more careful. That is COMPLETELY different to not wanting to immunize your child at all.

You’re not obliged to give your reasons to a receptionist - they’re not medically trained and you can insist your reasons remain confidential; between you and the Dr/HV. Perhaps email the practice to say you were made to feel very uncomfortable and it was rude and unnecessary how the receptionist spoke to you - they should at least give you an apology.

Your DC had an awful reaction to an earlier immunisation and that’s probably fuelling your nerves/anxiety over this. Try not to over think what could happen and just be alert for any signs as the doctors will step in again if they need to.

Immunisation is a personal choice. You may need to give reasons to the doctor why, so they know you’re out simply ignoring the letters, but it is up to you. Having said that my DC1 is at university and mumps is sweeping round the students like crazy. DC1 has had the jab but has still been poorly (she’s had a mild strain) but some of the other students have been taken really ill as they’re not vaccinated. It’s heartbreaking to see. You need to think what’s best for your child, both now and in later life.

Hope it goes okay OP.

Nurseries and Schools can (and should IMO) bar children who are not immunised

not for medical reasons and a bad reaction that required a hospital visit would be a bad enough reaction to count, in my view. Anyway, the OP's child HAS been immunised, just not in full!

Nurseries and Schools can (and should IMO) bar children who are not immunised

I dont think this is true in the UK. I dont remember even being asked about the immunisation status of my kids by the school

Dc2 who is 6 has still not fully caught up 🤷‍♀️
I think we need the Mmr booster...I need to check

Dc1 is still for the majority unvaccinated (we rely on heard immunity) it’s because of a serious reaction to one of them and ended up in hospital and was very poorly.

I think under controlled circumstances I may be willing to give separate vaccines as I’ve heard measles is rife again in our area. I’d need to see the consultant again and discuss...however I’d be more inclined for them to do blood tests and see what immunity is already done

Social services will not be remotely interested in the fact you’ve not vaccinated...as far as I’m aware it’s not compulsory and you should report the receptionist!

It is not compulsory to have immunisations. The receptionist, by making you and probably others into nervous wrecks about being late, is possibly preventing people actually getting the immunisations done.

The receptionist shouldn't be shocked and instead encouraging you to get in as soon as possible.

Just go, you don't have to explain yourself to the receptionist.

I know exactly what you mean regarding the receptionist - many years ago I also had the receptionist question closely as to why mine was late. I just gave a hand wavey "oh yeah, we were away for a bit but all good now I'm here!" type explanation. Actually my DS had been very ill and in hospitalised and we were told to delay it. But I didn't think it was any of her business so didn't tell her.

My daughter received the reminder for her sons MMR/hib vaccinationswhen he was 10 months old (his 1 yr set) he’d had tonsillitis and a chest infection and GP advised to wait til he was better.

Within 3 weeks she’d had 2 letters and 2 phone calls regarding the ‘missed vaccination’, the final one from the HV stating ‘I was just looking at the records and noticed you haven’t bothered having J immunised, this is a safeguarding issue’.

Fortunately my 17 yr old is somewhat strong willed so snapped back at her to go check the GP records for the reasoning behind the delay. She still phoned 2 more times! My grandson finally had his vaccinations a week ago (very late according to the HV) at the grand old age of 13 months. Totally on schedule according to the NHS website!

I find it very hard to believe that the receptionist said that to you. Are you trying to start yet another vax/anti vax debate?

I’m not an anti vaxxer; all four of mine have had all their jabs, plus some extra ones for travelling, and we have our flu jabs. But if one of mine had a bad enough reaction to require hospitalisation I suspect I’d be skipping the vaccinations and relying on herd immunity.

Report the receptionist.
She wrong, unprofessional, and pure nasty.

It's none on her business why the vaccinations are late. It's none of her business if you decided you didn't even want to vaccinate.

If they do ask why they're late, just say you have anxiety based on previous experiences but you'd rather not discuss it and just get them done.

I think you need to report the receptionist! Immunisations are not compulsory,so she was totally out of order in threatening you with Social Services.

There are unfortunately lots of parents who don’t vaccinate at all in the absence of a direct medical contraindication and they are not referred to SS. It is a choice. It is not a good, rational or safe choice, but it is a choice.

Completely disagree with the PP who thinks ‘most mums are reluctant’ to vaccinate their children. Nonsense. Most parents understand that the risks of not vaccinating heavily outweigh the risks of vaccinating and are glad to live somewhere where they have access to vaccinations.

I do think you need to seek help for your anxiety as being a ‘nervous wreck’ etc and being prepared to risk vaccine-preventable illnesses for your children during the period their vaccines are delayed because of it is very concerning. Please seek help for this.

An over zealous receptionist, well for a start I would report her, she has no right to speak to you in this way, I was so angry reading this, you sound like a good mum to me, go and get the immunisations done, and put it all behind you,

I don’t know how late your babies ims are, but we moved house & surgeries & then the nurse cancelled because she was sick so DDs last lot ended up being 3 months late. No one even questioned me.

It’s not illegal to not get your baby vaccinated so SS would do nothing. Definitely report that horrible, interfering receptionist!

@Firecarrier I won't "wind my neck in" thanks... The UK has just lost its measles free status due to the number of antivaxers, and I'd rather not see any more preventable diseases return!

NHS receptionists are one of the most unpleasant groups of people I’ve ever encountered. She was spouting nonsense, I hope you’re feeling better now

I am incredibly pro-vax but this woman sounds vile. SS will NOT get involved for a delayed programme at all!! Sorry that you were told that, you have completely done the right thing - I delayed my DDs for various reasons. No sign of SS for us. Screw her.

Go and get your DCs vaccinations completed and don’t be scared. HCPs would rather you vaccinated even if it is a bit late. You don’t have to disclose your reasons but even if you did I think they would understand. The GP receptionist is being over zealous but I wonder if she’s got confused about the fact HCPs need to report delayed access to medical services for a child because it can be a flag for abuse. I don’t think this implies to you at all but I was warned by the GP that SS may be in touch with me when DD had an accident and broke her nose and I followed the advice in the NHS website and left it until the swelling went down before I got medical advice.

17Retroflex

@Firecarrier I won't "wind my neck in" thanks... The UK has just lost its measles free status due to the number of antivaxers, and I'd rather not see any more preventable diseases return! hmm

It never was free of measles. Measles numbers fluctuate every year. They aren't massivley up this year...just more up than than the previous year. Unfortunately vaccine injury is real, and some people wiuld also like to prevent this, as well as prevent "preventable" diseases...but shutting down all talk on vaccine safety and calling it antivax is counterproductive.

Comment above was for Retroflex

I just deferred DC’s second vaccination for MMR because there was such a bad reaction to the first (A&E and overnight stay). We will get it done but when DC is slightly older than the currently recommended age in our area for the second vaccination.

I was ages late getting DD's pre-school vaccinations because I was back at work and then they never had any convenient appointments, then they forgot about us and left us waiting in the waiting room. She had it about a year late in the end. Nobody seemed the least bit bothered.

The only way I could think that SS would be involved is if the lack of vaccinations was part of a much bigger picture (one that a GP receptionist is unlikely to know the full detail of). SS struggle to see children in dire need, I don't think they have much capacity for parents simply booking an appointment a bit late.

I would however speak to the GP about your anxiety, you seem to have really spiralled from what most of us would put down to a rude receptionist to not feeling deserving of your children.

@ConwyGhost I don't think you understand that the "measles free" does not mean zero cases, but it's OK, the information is available online if you were interested.

To keep it short for you, The UK initially achieved WHO measles elimination status in 2017, based on data from 2014-2016. However, in 2018, there was a marked increase in the number of confirmed measles cases, so based on this, WHO determined that the UK could no longer be consider as ‘eliminated’ and that transmission of measles had been reestablished.

In countries that have eliminated measles, measles can still occur, but these will be isolated cases that only have limited spread within the community.