Can I refuse to discuss my reasons at my DCs next immunisation?

[letsjog]

I feel like a failure having to even ask this.

I have a DC overdue for their most recent immunisation. They were also on a late schedule with the 2 previous rounds.
The reason behind this is that my first DC had a very worrying reaction the day after their immunisations and ended up with a same day GP app, followed by a quite urgent referral to the hospital for the day after which the symptoms went away on their own and the doctors basically said "we don't know what, why or how this happened but they look ok now." and sent us home.

This has basically made me a nervous wreck every time a letter comes through about DCs immunisations. I know it's stupid and irrational. I always make an appointment in the end but it takes me some time to come around to it and I spend the days before and after with a lump in my throat and watching for any symptoms and checking them at night.
I have mentioned it at my DCs previous immunisations only for it to be met with "oh well that's not great anyway it's important for them to have them so let's do this" - I don't want to discuss this any further with any GPs I just want them done and dusted.

I have just booked DCs next ones and the receptionist on the phone sounded very shocked and outraged that they're late with them. She asked my reasons which I wouldn't go into and she implied that SS could be involved if I am not cooperative/forthcoming.

I am now a complete and utter nervous wreck in anticipation for the appointment.
I feel like I have failed as a mum to my wonderful LOs and I don't deserve them.
I really don't want to be going into the reasons behind this with the GP/ nurse again as I feel like an idiot.

Can they really refer me to SS if I refuse to discuss my reasons for late immunisations?

Dd1 was late getting her MMR booster. A series of bad health led me to wait until she was well. I would go in and be prepared to say 'She had a bad reaction and we were advised to wait.' And leave it at that. Or get their dad to take them. No one even questioned me.

My son a couple of weeks ago had his pre school booster, a full 3 years late! I felt awful about it. But with all the stuff with his SEN tests etc it got pushed to the back of my mind. My daughter has also had her 12 month jabs at the same time almost a year late

Point is they've had them now and that's what counts.

Oh God I hate officious receptionists who treat people like this. Got zero people skills? Then don’t get a job working with people. OP you should complain.

But good for you for facing your fear and doing the best thing for your DC by getting them vaccinated. You have not failed them, just the opposite in fact.

I recently found out my eldest had missed two before starting school and I was oblivious. I remember her having many done but these must have slipped through the net. We moved GPs and houses around that time and it was a stressful period in my life so that would perhaps explain it. Much to my shame she is now NINE! She caught up last month the same time as her middle sibling who was right on time for them. To threaten you with social services when you are booking the appointment to catch up is completely counter-productive and idiotic of that receptionist. If that were true I’d have been contacted by them years ago Take absolutely no notice and just get them done. I’m sorry to hear of your anxiety around them too, it makes perfect sense to me why you would feel like that. Just a suggestion but maybe get that looked into before the anxiety starts maybe taking over with other things (been there bought the t shirt)

Retroflex

Of course I understand. I just didn't think that you did!

I'm more than capable of understanding @ConwyGhost

"She asked my reasons which I wouldn't go into and she implied that SS could be involved if I am not cooperative/forthcoming."

Erm. Nah. Immunisations are totally voluntary in the UK.

I can't ever imagine a practice saying this to anyone ever tbh

There's one of these officious receptionists at the local practice. She was giving hassle to my elderly mother who gave her short thrift. My mum got a warning letter from the practice telling her that 'the use of sarcasm will not be tolerated'...

Retroflex

I'm more than capable of understanding

I think it's a bit simplistic to claim The UK has just lost its measles free status due to the number of antivaxers
I mean, how do you know it has anything to do with antivaxers at all? Many vaccinated people still catch and spread measles, and as time goes by the number of adults with waning immunity is increasing...so I could say that the increase is more likely due to childhood vaccinations not actually creating herd immunity (as it cannot replicate natural herd immunity). Most "antivaxxers" have actually vaccinated their kids and experienced a bad enough reaction to make them question vaccine safety. Why else would they be anti?

Just to clear one thing up.

Not vaccinating is a red flag for SS

But it has to be accompanied by something else like home schooling.

As I pointed out to the SWs both are within my rights to do

The only reason Ds didn’t have all his vaccinations was because the drs would give me an appointment so far in the future I forgot or something would come up and I couldn’t make it.

Who can know 5 months in advance

@Oliversmumsarmy that's absolutely no excuse for not getting vaccinations, especially if you home school ffs - not even like you need to get time off work.

The stupid thing about this is that most of the imms have a pretty wide window over which they can be given and still be effective. We rocked up in Germany when our kids were 2 and a half and they were shocked that they hadn't had their second MMR yet

Most "antivaxxers" have actually vaccinated their kids and experienced a bad enough reaction to make them question vaccine safety. Why else would they be anti?
No most antivaxxers have no experience of vaccinations apart from a friend of a friends kid had a bad response or ive seen a web page that sad vaccines cause x or Jenny McCarthy said it have her son autism or I just have a feeling that we shouldn’t over load the child immune system or some other nonsense. Anti vaxxers for the most part do not vaccinate at all because they think they know better.

Ps the OP isn’t an antivaxxer she wants to get her children vaccinated but has been frightened by the hysteria real antivaxxers have created.

She hasn't been frightened by the hysteria.
She's been frightened by experiences and reactions with her first child that nobody could explain, or give her ways to avoid with her second.

No she was frightened by the experience and then those fears were amplified by the bullshit spouted by the antivax movement.

@gamerwidow can you quote where she's said that? Because I've re-read the OP twice and can't see it.

SS are not going to get involved over vaccinations

I had a random visit off social services last week ( malicious call from neighbour ) and she asked about the kids vaccinations. I explained that DD(4) had only had 2 immunisations so far as id grown up being told vaccinations were poisen so it was taking me a while to unthink like that

Straight away she told me they wernt compulsary and if i didnt want the kids to have them then i didnt. To be fair though she was one of the few people who have been nice about vaccinations. Most proffesionals are adament you need them done.

SS wont get involved, you could have religious reasons, anything. They are your choice at the end of the day

I keep putting off my childrens vaccinations because im scared. We grew up not having them and being told they were poisen, read the ingridients etc and told we wouldnt eat that so why would we eat it? I felt uncomfortable for weeks after DD(4) had her first vaccinations ( about 6 months ago )

This thread has reminded me i need to get them both vaccinated properly and the fear has crept in again.

I’m normally one to defend GP receptionists, but I can’t believe she implied SS would get involved

Me either. The OP actually said she 'implied' not said. I imagine the OP misheard.

OP you sound unusually worried. Check with your gp about the reaction but believe me, a child with meningitis or measles is far worse than a child with a post vaccination reaction. Just get it done.

SS wouldn’t be interested in missed/delayed/declined immunisation unless there were other factors ie missing appointments with other medical workers, history of DV/coercion. Immunisations are optional.

And I say that as a practice nurse who is currently immunising a 12 year old to the UK catch up schedule who received no childhood doses.

I can see why you are so worried about them after what you have been through, I would feel the same. You aren't a bad Mum. You have booked them and that's the main thing now. In regards to your anxiety about them I think it might be a good idea to book an appointment with your gp to discuss this overwhelming anxiety you have and they may be able to explain to you what could have happened that day with your son to ease your mind.

gamerwidow;you are deluded.

I would also be concerned if my child had a reaction in the past. Back in the day this was reason enough to stop vaccinating, but sadly these days you just get labelled antivax and get bullied into doing it anyway.

Thank god my kids are now older as that is exactly what happened - my youngest (now mid 20s) had a bad reaction to the MMR and he didn't have the rest - I am very aware of it though, and definitely not anti vax, but you have to to do the best for your child.

DC2 has had lots of late vaccinations - DC1 had Vs & Ds for the 2nd vacc appointment then Drs miss - entered his 2nd vaccs as 3rd so I had to chase and try to work out why 3rd vacc hadn't come through. Now awaiting appointment 3 for 1 yr vaccs as he had a fever day before attempt 1, went down with Chickenpox before attempt 2.

DC1 took a while with preschool ones after having a temp of 40 on the day of the first try then the Vs&Ds on the 2nd!

The receptionist was inappropriate but I wonder whether she might have been pressured herself into ensuring vaccination rates are high because outbreak and loss of herd immunity.

Putting that to one side, I think your anxiety around all this is not healthy for you. Having a sick child is a major shock and medical PTSD is a recognized problem. It is normal to worry about our DCs and of course there is more worry if a child is or has been sick, but from what you say your reactions seem a bit exaggerated.