Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

I totally get that people don't like the smell or that it has bad associations for them, could be triggering etc
For that reason I avoid the most pungent varieties, I also only use it in my own home
As for second-hand smoking of course if this is a thing then it must be avoided! (but is it a thing 🤔)

Op you’re convincing yourself of a story that just isn’t true. Your neighbours will not see you as the nice, respectable family when your DH is out making your neighbour smell of weed. They are judging him and by association you. His behaviour is anti social and pissing them off.

And you’re fooling yourself In trying to suggest is is perfectly normal as every man and his dog is on the stuff. You can see from one of the charts here that regular cannabis usage is at 3.3% for 16-64 year olds and has indeed fallen over time.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47950785

I wouldn't be happy with you as my neighbour. Once every now & then perhaps, but several each night? That is an addiction. I've seen first hand the damage it does to mental health, and how lives of smokers & families can be absolutely ruined, yes I mean that, absolutely ruined. I'm not saying it affects everyone that way but some are more susceptible to the harm it can do.

So I think it's in poor taste to smoke every night & for your poor neighbour to have the sickly smell to put up with. Consider his feelings & refer your partner for help.

I hope it is legalised defineme and I hope that we can find better ways of managing/satisfying the desire for intoxication
Peace everyone
🙏

Once the smell wasn't affecting me I wouldn't mind. Nowadays you smell it everywhere.

Perfectly possible to smoke weed and not be connected to anything like that defineme, loads of people growing their own these days and hurting absolutely no one.

You have kids. I'd judge, sorry.

My neighbours son smokes it a lot in the summer. It seeps through the walls and windows. Its disgusting.

My neighbours smoke it outside on the patio and even if all my windows and doors are shut, the smell still fills the house. My attitude is that if you do not like smoking in your own house because of the smell what makes you think you neighbours are happy to put up with it?

Those if you against cannabis what do you think about alcohol, given that it causes more problems should we reinstate prohibition?
(I appreciate I'm going slightly off topic here)

Those if you against cannabis what do you think about alcohol, given that it causes more problems should we reinstate prohibition?

I think if someone was making me drink some of their beer against my will n my garden I wouldn't like that either, but then alcohol isn't against the law, so let's pick something that is.

How would you feel if someone was selling stolen goods from next door's garden with their kids nearby, appeared to assume you are the sort of person that would be fine with that, and left you to put up with it or have them arrested in front of their family?

I would be furious if I had to put up with the smell coming in my house every night. Smoke it in your own home not outside for everyone else to have to put up with....

I wouldn't look down on him (unless he was a hypocrite who preached about the Evils of Drugs while smoking weed himself). But I would be slightly annoyed with him - no doubt the smoke drifts into neighbours' houses and gardens. I feel the same about cigarette smoke or vaping.

I ignore everything my neighbours do as I feel it's none of my business. Unless it was something horribly illegal like sex trafficking obviously. I just feel people should be able to do what they want in their own homes as far as possible.

No I would not. At an absolute push I might ask the person to smoke at the bottom of the garden.
Cigarette smoke would bother me more

Yes.
I have a neighbour that does this. I have children. They have their windows open often. I do not want them smelling that shit. I do not want to be living next door to a drug taker. If you are my neighbour go the fuck down the far end of the garden. Or move.

Thank you.

In all honesty, yes, I would think less of you (as a household; not you as a person) and I would not consider you respectable neighbours. It is not socially acceptable to use recreational drugs. I'm surprised your neighbour hasn't reported your husband to the police.

I'm also surprised that past posters have mentioned cigarettes, vapes, and alcohol. Those are all completely legal. It's not about the aroma, etc.

FWIW, none of the above means I'd assume you have a nasty personality or that your children aren't nice.

how can you be a nice family.
you are deluding yourself. no doubt the boys are nice; will they stay that way if they are bought up with such skewed morals ?
and you obviously collude in this illegality. how can you be a nice family.
I would report it to the police.

I wouldn’t look down on you at all but it does stink !

No issue for me
Even better if puff puff pass is practiced lol

My neighbours used to do this & it fucking stank & they'd stay up all hours talking complete bollocks as well.
They also used to lob the stubs/butts (don't know the phrase but the end bit after they've finished) into other people's gardens.
My cat ended up with kidney failure after he investigated one of these butts in our garden.

I live in a country where it’s perfectly legal. It’s still for trashy parents. And yes, I’d judge. A few spliffs a night is not a discreet little idiosyncrasy. It’s a drug habit, it’s affecting your neighbours, you’re justifying it and ignoring everyone telling you it’s not the new norm. You might be more of a stereotype than you realize.

Only because of the smell. If you were Vaping cherry ecigs all day or spraying lynx Africa at my windows I’d think the same.

But if you got a low odour oil based vap and treated yourself to the smelly ones now and again I wouldn’t care.

But I do think it should be legalised along with most other drugs. Licenses given out to supply and grow. Priced reasonably to hinder illegal supply and tax it. But then put crazy high sentences on non licensed supply and growth to stop the scum bags taking advantage of the vulnerable in society.

But I’m of the opinion regular high usage of weed turns your brain into mash potato. Just like regular high usage of most things.....

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest, it should be legal.

I have lived next door to people who smoke it and yes I have judged them for it.

I would not want to be your neighbour. Weed is illegal and stinks. Every fucking night stinking up their home and you've kids in the house, too. Yes i would look on you.