Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

Weed, absolutely. Awful awful stuff. Resin probably not.

Many of the arguments that people are making against cannabis could also be used as arguments for the legalisation of cannabis
I think the issue comes down to to the harms of a particular drug, also your views on intoxication, personally I enjoy it, I don't drink though because I don't enjoy being drunk
we all know don't we that alcohol is the most harmful drug in terms of its toxicity relative to its capacity intoxicate?
I completely acknowledge that cannabis is not for everyone, it can cause problems for some and of course those people absolutely should avoid it at all costs but for those of us who find it beneficial and enjoyable ...why should we not be able to partake without falling foul of the law?

Loving theit's illegalcrowd. Is it really? If you called the police they wouldn't do a thing. It's tacitly accepted by law enforcement

Lots of criminal acts won't have the police kicking your door down but it still isn't socially acceptable to do them in front of other people without asking them if they mind being put on the spot or feel uncomfortable.

It's actually not that hard to be discreet when a lot of people don't give a monkey's toss what others do in the privacy of their own home. Just you know... don't take drugs outside in front of them and don't make them actually have some of your drugs through passive smoking when they might not want to.

Would definitely think less of someone who's a druggie when they have kids. I know this seems unbelievable to people who have convinced themselves it's fine.

It says right there on the voting buttons, 73/27%. You're deluding yourself, maybe it's all that passive smoking of cannabis that you're doing.

If you'e in the UK the supply here is absolutely awful stuff, btw.

Yes I would totally judge you for it. Threw smell doesnt stop at the boundary fence and I can smell people in the next road (3-4 gardens away) smoking it, so I'm damn sure your neighbour gets the unpleasant stench of weed in her garden and in her house if she were to leave a window or door open.

Ive also dealt with the after effects of cannabis smoking, and every fucker thinks they're fine and it's medicinal. It's a horrible drug and it's antisocial to the neighbours.

Graphista, please chill it's really not that bad 😊

Of course you’re not a nice, respectable family. Your fellas an addict who subjects his neighbours to his taking drugs in the garden even single night. Give your head a wobble woman! You’re the neighbourhood druggies. And I’d take that neighbours comment as his first warning that he’s getting annoyed with it. I wouldn’t be surprised he he approached your landlord or even the police if your bf carries on with this anti social behaviour. Who do you even buy it off anyway? Do you have drug dealers coming to the house?

I'd massively judge you. Unfortunately I have a family member with very serious mental health issues which stemed from regular cannabis smoking so I'm particularly biased. I'm so biased that I'd actually move if my neighbour was doing that regularly as I'd never want my children to ever consider that it was normal or acceptable. They will be taught its illegal, its proven links to serious mental health issues and how wrong it is to support the illegal drug industry. Just because none of your neighbours have said anything ( I wouldn't) doesnt mean you are being paranoid in thinking they are most likely All judging your family.

I'd definitely judge recreational use-- especially if it was every night. It's illegal. I'd worry about what other things they might get up to, since they didn't mind breaking that law...

If your neighbour smelled it enough to comment on it, that alone would annoy me greatly. I hate it when our neighbours burn something that stinks things up for the rest of us. So often it's when the weather is the nicest, too, exactly when we'd like to have our windows open to air out the house. Smelling someone's weed every night must be extremely irritating.

I'd rather have you next door to me than my alcoholic mess of a neighbour. It's utterly ridiculous that weed is illegal but alcohol isn't the amount of damage booze does. I've watched my neighbour's life disintegrate due to alcohol, 3 years ago she had lovely DC and was studying for a really good career and now her kids are in care and she's a total mess. We have weed smoking neighbours also (2 doors down the other way) and they cause no bother, house and garden are kept tidy, no parties or random scumbags causing a nuisance at all hours and are pleasant and friendly, all a pretty direct contrast with next door who causes nothing but trouble. So no, I wouldn't look down on you, most of us have vices and weed is a pretty minor one in my view.

Depends. My neighbours smoke it I like them but it's smell cheeses me off. It's antisocial in my opinion. It irritates me that the inside of my house ends up smelling of it too at times.

🤷 I'd rather someone who smokes some weed on an evening than a neighbour who drinks to high heaven and throws loud parties until god knows what time.

It really depends on where you live as well, where I live it's impossible to walk down a street without smelling it so I guess Its normalised to me. I suppose in some other areas it will result in people clutching their pearls and being horrified.

My dad smoked while I was growing up, he was very discreet about it. He was the best dad and raised me very well so I won't judge him because I find it hypocritical to judge someone for smoking a joint a night when plenty of people have a glass of wine a night and noone batters an eyelid. I think it's far more harmful to normalise alcohol tbh as the effects are far worse.

Bit of a silly move posting about weed smoking on here though OP, the vast majority will disagree with you

Your neighbours probably hate you for it but are too nice to say much

Yes I would

(And you don't have to be "older" to dislike weed use, btw. Plenty of aging hippies are probably fine with it, whereas plenty of us not-quite-old folks are judging with abandon.)

Those of you who feel strongly against the use of cannabis, I'm just wondering what will you do if it's made legal in the UK?
Don't get me wrong I got no problem with people who don't like it, I feel exactly the same about say booze or junk food I find them revolting and I won't go near them!
But I think live and let live, you do your thing (not using cannabis) and I'll do mine 😊

It's really only the smell that would bother me. I don't smoke and never have but I don't judge what people do on their own property as long as they aren't hurting anyone else and aren't annoying me.

As I said before that our garden dosnt back onto anyone else’s

You clearly have neighbours near enough to smell your smoke and know when and what you are smoking!

Will you keep doing it when your kids are old enough to know what you are smoking?
Will the neighbours be as tolerant when their kids know what you are smoking?

Maybe watch the latest 2 episodes of 24hrs in police custody on channel 4 catch up...whether you like it or not, however nice you are, however good your parenting and nice your village is, because your drug of choice is illegal you're connected to hideous criminality that hurts an awful lot of lives and for that I judge..you really are old enough to know better..I did all sorts when I was a stupid teenager without a conscience or forethought- what s your excuse? I have SEN child, stressful job etc but gin has to suffice because i couldnt be a part of that world.

It would be the fact I could smell it that would piss me off as it stinks and would mean my children and I were breathing it in. Can he not sit in the house/car and smoke it so it doesn’t affect the neighbours?

Thanks for making an argument for legalization defineme

It's possible to smoke a few joints without getting wasted, assuming it's mixed with tobacco. Just like having a rum and cola that's actually a glass of cola with a dash of rum!

People get really het up about all kinds of things but it's all relative. I live in a deprived area so you can't walk to the next street without smelling someone smoking weed, in fact people walk down the high street in the middle of the day smoking spliffs around here. And that doesn't bother me, what does bother me is the crack heads that sit next to cash machines and ask you for money or the scanks propositioning the crack heads (too loudly, also in the middle of the day), the scag heads that leave their dirty needles on the beach and the piss heads that beat their partners and smash anything within reach.

Weed is the least of the problems in lots of places. It's nice for so many people on this thread that they never have to mix with the common folk.

I wouldn't give a stuff if it was legal @RhinoskinhaveI , other than the stink, but I wouldn't judge, my occasional probably stink, but it's absolutely only a problem because it's criminal and the consequences of that.

I do agree that they should be discreet and not do it in the garden
they should not subject other people to the smell since it is a strong smell and lots of people dislike it

• occasional BBQs

I absolutely agree it shoukd be legalized @RhinoskinhaveI