Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

@taraohara *What do you consider to be law enforcement?

Are you talking police or Bailiffs?*

Never met a bailiff in my life, thanks! 😂 I have several friends in the Met, three solicitors in public prosecution and a QC who all smoke, though not with me. We don't host 'smoking parties' 🙄 in our garden and as I've said before, we vale so it's virtually smell-free. But you judge away! It seems you love the view from the moral high ground.

That's quite surprising quiz. My BIL is in the met as well and has been for quite a few years. I know he would never touch any drugs and he excuses himself if anyone wants to smoke around him when he's off duty.

I don't think it's as common as you think it is among police officers.

The QC I can more than believe! I know a judge and a QC. They think they're above the law for sure.

QuizzlyBear and SleepsAllDay

Do you have any arguments that aren't ad hominems? Perhaps have a look at the magazine the New Internationalist. Their articles on drugs and the benefits of legalisation convinced me, some years back, but I have to say that nothing either of you have posted would have done.

It stinks. It wouldn’t be much of an issue during winter when windows are generally closed and nobody spends much time gardening but during the spring/summer period, I would hate it. I hate cigarette smoke too but weed is particularly potent and wretched.

I have also seen too many people’s MH completely ruined by weed over the years. Harmless drug it is not.

Nasty and chavvy- glad you’re not my neighbours. It’s not just teens is causes issues for, you do know that?

YANBU. I'm not a smoker myself, but I quite like the smell of weed, and there are a whole lot more harmful recreational activities that people turn a blind eye to.

PS I just voted and saw the percentages. I'm quite surprised that so many people are anti.

Do you have any arguments that aren't ad hominems?

I guess that would be because I'm not trying to recruit anyone to my cause. I haven't cited research, studies or sources since I couldn't care less whether others occasionally smoke or not.

That wasn't the question posed in the OP. She asked what others' opinions were. Hence the subjective response.

Just my two pence regarding the benign nature of cannabis; in my early healthcare career I looked after a well educated young person who to all intents and purposes “had their shit together (good job, nice home, lovely family).

They had grown their own, tried to sell it (as it was particularly potent apparently) and were subsequently threatened by the local dealers so decided to smoke it all themselves. The person came to me escorted by the police with blood matted in their hair, all over their body and deep under their fingernails. They had developed an acute psychotic illness that lead to said individual mutilating and then beheading the family pet with a not particularly sharp kitchen knife citing that said pet had been telepathically inciting them to kill a baby in the family.

I have NEVER gotten those images out of my head; just thinking about it takes me back to helping this person wash the blood from their hair, the smell of it, the feel of it, how hard it was to comb out. I’ll never forget the look on their face a few days later during a brief moment of absolute clarity when they began to comprehend what had happened. The way their mother cried in my arms after a particularly difficult visit whilst they essentially grieved for the child they felt they had failed and lost after being told by the Consultant that actually, the damage to their brain had endured for so long at this stage that it was likely permanent.

Hence why now I don’t associate with anyone using, talking about or even considering the use of any recreational drug use regardless of the country we’re in at the time.

I hate the smell of it. I'd judge you and I'd deliberately cross the road to make sure we weren't walking through it or smelling of it by proxy.

Love the fact that dope smokers reckon they don't smell, they have indeed gone nose blind.

But you're not not arguing. You're just arguing in such a way as to further damage the reputation of cannabis users.

These little comments and sneers about how you know a police officer who smokes and other such vacuous remarks (in response to someone discussing why they wouldn't want to buy something on the black market, for the love of St Peter) just look incredibly foolish.

One spliff, occasionally, would piss me off as it smells rank.

A couple of spliffs smoked every night and I would hate you.

I teach. Some kids have the smell ingrained into their clothes. It turns my stomachs

I wouldn't care.
I'd rather people live comfortably in their own homes, rather than poking their noses in to everyone else's. My ex neighbour used to do the same, only problem was when we had visitors, and they commented on the smell.
If the worst thing anyone does to me is smoke pot next door, I'd consider myself lucky! Move in next to me!

For me it comes down to frequency - Friday night for an hour, ok. Every night, not ok.

I wouldn't be judging because you are parents, or because it's illegal, I would be judging because this is addition territory and if you are parents, that's not good enough.

Use one of those vapourizer things so it doesn't smell. The smell would piss me off.

Not look down as such but some varieties of week absolutely reek....so if the pong was pretty strong I'd not be too amused.

But you're not not arguing. You're just arguing in such a way as to further damage the reputation of cannabis users.

You're right, I'm NOT arguing 😂. I was answering the OPs question with a subjective answer, as requested. If you think I look foolish for doing so, I couldn't honestly give a monkeys. I also have no desire to turn this into a debate with you, since once again, this isn't your thread. Maybe start your own if you want to police how people answer or what opinions they hold.

Another vote here for the "it's disgustingly smelly, antisocial and illegal".

I had a neighbour move into the flat next door start this, it reeked, revolting!

I was about to report him to the police when him and his girlfriend did a moonlight flit and were never seen again, after trashing the flat as a final F U to the council landlord though

Wouldn't bother me as long as the smell wasn't coming into my house

I am starting to wonder what weed smells like in other parts of the country. Here, it's like grass and hops. I can't see how anyone can find that revolting, unless it's more the associations (vile! waster! illegal!) that are referred to. But maybe it really does vary.

Skunk is called skunk because of the awful, penetrating smell I think ?

I would judge.

I abhor drugs and the damage they do so yes I'd dislike it and probably go as far as reporting you to the council and police. Your DH is after all breaking the law.

There was a recommendation up thread for an especially strong strain called "blue cheese".
So called because it stinks and tastes strongly of blue cheese.

There is another strain called lil stanky (little stinky). The clue is in the name.

My weed smoking friends often boasted about how they had managed to source some STINKING weed. The stinkier the better and better still if it has some residue forming crystals on it.