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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

703 replies

MoonBaby1 · 07/01/2020 22:10

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

OP posts:
Somanysocks · 08/01/2020 21:23

@Cherylshaw you sound like you've had a couple.

mumtumdocare · 08/01/2020 21:34

I would think it was antisocial and horrible tbh. The smell is so strong, and not suitable around a family home. I would be horrified if my neighbours regularly did this outside.

Cherylshaw · 08/01/2020 21:38

@Somanysocks
haha I don't do it, just don't think it should be illegal and the drugs we should be worried about are ketamine, coke, heroin etc, drugs people are dying for taking

Heyjude20 · 08/01/2020 21:38

There’s a house near us who smokes it constantly. Every night our bedroom stinks and it’s even worse in the summer

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 08/01/2020 21:40

most people get there weed from someone who grows and sells it from there home so I think some of the above posts about trafficking and gangs etc aren't really relevent with weed, more so synthetic drugs

If this is true, then why is it that no-one ever seems to have a dealer that occasionally hasn't grown enough? All these one-man bands growing cannabis for themselves and a few trusted people seem to be able to supply it all year round.

Who are the schoolkids getting it from? In the last couple of years, my local area has started stinking of weed. I walked home past someone smoking it tonight. If it's just one person supplying the area, he's got a big greenhouse...

As we had a county lines bust last year just a few streets away, I doubt it's a kindly old pensioner supplying them all.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 08/01/2020 21:49

most people get there weed from someone who grows and sells it from there home so I think some of the above posts about trafficking and gangs etc aren't really relevent with weed, more so synthetic drugs

Where is the evidence for this? This sounds like the sort of shit that people like to tell themselves to make them feel better about using cannabis.

I really do wish it was legalised and regulated.

FruitcakeOfHate · 08/01/2020 21:59

In other countries it is a non issue.

Yes, Lex, just so. It's regulated and taxed and organised. You buy it, or you don't, just like booze or fags or junk food. My sister takes it for her lupus and has been able to come off a lot of her prescription medication. Her doctors know. It's legal.

princesjet2 · 08/01/2020 22:24

How delusional you must be OP to think you're being viewed as a normal boring family Confused

Nagita · 08/01/2020 22:42

My partner also smokes the odd spliff in the back garden, had one encounter with the neighbour but they didn't say anything about it. I could tell she was judging though! Most people do. It's illegal so most people think it's the worst thing in the world but I disagree and I think if people want to smoke let and let live! There's far worse things going on in the world. It's becoming legal and being decriminalised in countries often. It does have its benefits but people tend to focus on the bad lol. I've been around it my whole life. If your neighbours really don't want him to do it they can't just say nothing and expect you to know it's upsetting them, they should speak to you about it and I'm sure he would be happy to go elsewhere to keep the peace 😊✌️

youwillgo · 08/01/2020 23:00

Yes I would look down on you, and yes I would judge you.

Consuming a tiny amount of homemade edibles to manage pain does not make me a drug user hmm

Of course it does, don't be so ridiculous. You are using drugs, ergo you are a drug user. It may not make you a drug addict (although your dh clearly is) but you are the definition of a drug user.

gwenneh · 08/01/2020 23:10

I don’t object to cannabis in principle - I’ve certainly tried it when I’ve been somewhere where it is legal, I am partial to the odd edible from the dispensary - but yes, I’d definitely judge you if you were my neighbour.

Whether or not it should be legal, right now it is not, and just because people don’t get regularly prosecuted for using it is no real excuse to do it. It’s still illegal drug use in the UK and the willingness to engage in that behaviour is what I’d be judging, not the drug itself.

TildaKauskumholm · 09/01/2020 00:11

Yes, would judge, but there are plenty worse things neighbours can do! Does sound as if he's an addict though, with a couple a night...

Fatboysmudge · 09/01/2020 00:16

He should put make flapjacks or coffee with it, then at least no one would have to put up with the stench

avamiah · 09/01/2020 00:30

This is a difficult one in my opinion .
We live in London and young( teenagers) are smoking this on the street in broad daylight.
My question is “where are the police “?
The police aren’t interested as if you make a call to them they will tell you that they are extremely busy and hope to get there within 3 hours.??
So there is no point as they won’t be in the same location in 3 hours .
This is the problem .

Rosehip345 · 09/01/2020 00:39

Yep I’d judge you, probably wouldn’t say anything though unless it was actually affecting us.

araiwa · 09/01/2020 00:41

People calling the police and wasting police resources about some youths having a spliff is a problem

Ingridla · 09/01/2020 00:50

I love the smell! If I didn't have gunky lungs from health issues I'd ask for a bit!

avamiah · 09/01/2020 00:56

If I’m being totally honest here and OP lived next door to me ( garden to garden) and her husband, partner whoever it is started smoking cannabis then I would find this a big problem.

Tinkerbell89 · 09/01/2020 01:14

Doesn't matter if your house doesn't back on to other gardens, it stinks. Not only that but it remains in your system so he could actually be drug driving (if he has a licence) too and if caught with it on his person or driving have his licence revoked. He could be driving your family around with it in his system putting you and others at risk if he's smoking every night. Plus it causes serious mental health issues after long term use. Having kids and him smoking it regularly is not ok. The smell sticks to clothes so they may be getting a whiff of it too. Think if he's smoking it regularly he has a problem and could be doing it elsewhere too. It's unsocial and illegal too

ChocolateCoins19 · 09/01/2020 01:19

No my DB used to smoke it but quit when it became an addiction
.. My old downstairs neighbours used to too occasionally it would seem stronger and I'd shut the window for 10nmin or so.

I actually like the smell..

Bloodless · 09/01/2020 01:27

I personally wouldn’t judge, none of my business.

For context, My parents def would judge you. However, they think that cannabis / heroin / drugs In general are all the same ...but I’m quite sure they also wouldn’t recognise the smell of it so they wouldn’t know. All a generational thing

snowwhite90 · 09/01/2020 01:33

I wouldn't look down on someone for smoking weed. Some of my best friends are habitual cannabis users and they're very capable and successful. It's like any other vice and obviously moderate use would be more preferable. To be fairly honest I think a lot of the women commenting that they would and referring to it as 'scummy' and 'chavvy' are the same ones that would be skulling wine every weekend. There's a bit of a holier than thou vibe going on in the thread. He's hardly injecting heroin in the garden and leaving dirty needles all over the estate.

HarrietThePi · 09/01/2020 01:38

A close family member of mine has mental health issues and severe paranoia from cannabis use so I'm quite anti- it in general, though wouldn't say anything.

missyoumuch · 09/01/2020 01:46

I wouldn't judge. One of my cousins just moved to California, she works in a very successful tech company and she said most of the management partakes on the weekends Grin. I think it's legal in more than half of the US, Canada, etc. Really don't see this as a big deal at all and it will be legalised in more countries in the coming years. In the UK it's totally acceptable to take children to a pub while adults drink alcohol, while in many parts of the world that is seen as inappropriate.

crazycanuck · 09/01/2020 02:05

I wouldn’t judge, but I hate the smell. Our neighbours smoke it in their backyard and it reeks. I live in Canada so it’s a bit more prevalent now than it used to be.

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