Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

OP - would your dh consider a low odour vape version instead? Better for his health and for the neighbours!

@BeatriceTheBeast yep almost as well as you hun 💕

@QuizzlyBear

So what happens when this elderly man passes away?

I guess you’ll vet your next drug supplier to ensure they are similarly ethical and homely.

Was that the grown up equivalent of

"Twinkle twinkle little star, what you say is what you are"

Genius!

@Taraohara who knows? Weed is something my husband and I occasionally enjoy instead of alcohol. I won't be out interviewing new drug dealers when my friend dies - not only because I will miss him, but because I don't want to expose my children to people who associate with criminals.

You can call me a criminal for smoking the odd spliff if you like, but luckily the many people in law enforcement I know would laugh their heads off at you (they often partake too).

All these 'reasons' people give that weed is bad just boil down to the fact that it's currently illegal to grow and sell. There's no reason that - once legalised and regulated - it can't actually take the place of the incredibly harmful alcohol as people's way to wind down. Fingers crossed.

Funny how you think your neighbours are open minded, just because they don't say anything. I wouldn't say anything either, because I don't like confrontation, but would be hating on you hard for affecting MY life in this way, selfish

BeatricetheBeast

Your neighbours aren't open minded, the one who moaned about the "shit your husband smokes" was complaining. How can you not realise that?

I've only complained once to my neighbours, and that was when I thought it was their teenage son (it may have been) and it was about 4pm on a summer afternoon, my DS age 2 at the time was in the garden and it STANK. I was also in the first trimester, sick as a dog and hormonal so I marched over and complained to the dad. I've since realised that the son probably does smoke it, but as does one, maybe both, of the parents! Yes I always say hi to them and smile/chat. But I judge them massively.

Where does he buy it from? Watch 24 hours in Police custody from this week - 2 parts showing a lad from a respectable family being stabbed over weed dealing. Your husband is supporting dealers that are doing god knows what to stay under the radar and keep their precious territory.

If you were next to me I would report you.

It is fairly pointless trying to defend yourself now as there is no real defence here.

You asked the question and you got it. In droves.

If you don't like the answers the only questions you have to ask yourself is if you really care anyway? Your attempt to defend would show me you probably don't but then why ask the question in the first place?

My SIL doesn't smoke at all and hates any smoking and says at 'least her dh smokes outside so it's not in the house'. The house stinks of weed and fags. One of their kids has respiratory illnesses all the time..... go figure.

You done right jamie. Don't let the man bring you down with those life saving meds.

I’d hate to smell that it stinks. He should stop so the neighbour doesn't have to put up with it.

@QuizzlyBear , it's the creation of an anti social stink that's the problem. I don't give a shit how my neighbours want to fuck themselves up as long as it doesn't impact on me.

I’m as open minded as you like but the stuff stinks and I’d be pissed off if you were my neighbours.

Our neighbours smoke weed too and the smell gets into our house and I fucking hate it and find it incredibly selfish. I don’t ‘judge’ them for taking illegal substances I judge them for being inconsiderate twats.

I wouldn’t look down on you because I smoke weed myself but in doors because
I don’t have a garden and the only one that can smell it in my house is me.

I work and I’m a normal person, I’m not a drinker and rather than a glass of wine I’ll have a joint.

Maybe just ask your neighbour if it bothers him?

Wouldn’t bother me at all. Would someone having a glass of wine in their garden bother you? (Ok wine isn’t illegal, but booze does way more damage than weed)
@CaptainButtock someone having a glass of wine in their garden doesn't affect me, does it? If they had the entire bottle and started making a racket, then I'd have cause for complaint but a single glass of wine doesn't affect me.

Like I said in a previous post I don't judge people for smoking cannabis (I've done it and my friends and family have done it) but aren't you concerned he's smoking several joints a night? That sounds like psychological addiction. I had a close relative who was like this. They became paranoid and angry (so much for it making you mellow). They were a MUCH nicer person when they finally kicked the habit. I wouldn't mind if my DH had the occasional joint (preferable to him getting blind drunk) but I have to say I'd be really worried if he needed to get stoned every night. As well as the health problems it can cause it must cost a fortune!

Weed does make you irritable and paranoid and it’s why I now only smoke it at weekends, I’ve been a heroin addict too and I genuinely think I’ll always be the kind of person that needs something, I can’t help it and I just don’t like being drunk at all and I’m not keen on the taste of alcohol.

I think you’re totally deluded that the children won’t be affected and your neighbours are open minded. Even at uni, the potheads were judged as being total wasters. Needing to use every day is very different from someone having the odd spliff at a party. I would be furious if my garden stunk of it every night.

I would judge and not want you as neighbours. The smell does stink and sets off headaches for me. I would still exchange niceties f we were neighbours to keep the peace but would limit any contact outside of this.

Your dh has a dependence that you are in denial about. I would be concerned that if your boys see it normalised they will take it up too as they get older. Also as a neighbour I would be worried about the people you associate with, especially if a dealer was coming round to yours. I would also be concerned about the value of my house!

Honestly you're just talking rubbish. Why bother stomping on grapes /fermenting to get wine? Surely just eat the grapes to get sozzled, it's the most natural

Just noticed this. Now this is actually an excellent analogy of why smoking is a poor delivery system for medication. Don't expect you intended that, but...

You may not have noticed, but it is often commented that modern wines (particular French wines I think?) have higher ABV content than they used to. This is actually true, but it's not something wine manufacturers are doing deliberately.

Due to a run of hotter summers, which means sunnier weather, , the grapes contain more sugar than they used to. That means that when fermented, the alcohol percentage is higher than it used to be. They're trying to deal with this by picking grapes earlier in the year, when they're less ripe, but it's not a very precise method. The wine industry has had to breed new strains of yeast to cope with the alcohol content, because the traditional forms died during the fermentation process.

Once wine has been made, the only way to reduce the proof is to cut it with water (or another wine?) and apparently it tastes a bit disgusting to do that. So they just have to sell it as it is.

As people drink to move themselves somewhere along the continuum from sober to merry to paralytic, no-one seems to really care that it now takes fewer glasses than it used to. However, if wine was used to treat cancer, this kind of natural fluctuation in Bordeaux would make it inadequate for the purpose.

It’s illegal and it reeks. I’d be annoyed, particularly if I had children. Sorry OP.

You don’t want your own dc to smell it inside but you’re ok with others putting up with the stink? I’d hate to have a selfish neighbour.

@speakball Two words... Blue Cheese - lethal stuff.

Weed does make you irritable and paranoid
that's not what it does to me