Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

imagine you're right - after all, how could the pharmaceutical industry make money out of it if people just use it in its natural state?

What on earth is natural about rolling it in paper, lighting it and inhaling the fumes?

Surely eating it would be a lot more natural. That is a normal bodily function after all.

Yes I judge, as someone else said on this thread it is legal in their country and yet people still get judged and people still associate smoking weed with wasters and scummy types.

Even if it was legalised in the U.K. I bet there will still be people who think it’s a disgusting thing to do and will still judge and associate the types of people with smoking weed whether they are the most professional person or not, I automatically think of wasters unless needed for medical purposes

As someone else said healthcare and pharmacies won’t be advertising you to smoke it

Honestly you're just talking rubbish. Why bother stomping on grapes /fermenting to get wine? Surely just eat the grapes to get sozzled, it's the most natural

I have to laugh, really I do

wheresmymojo: I wouldn't say anything to you, would still be pleasant and say hello. You might think I'm open minded and fine with it but we would definitely be talking about it between ourselves and to others and would probably refer to DH as 'the pothead' or 'the stoner' (as in 'I see the stoner is outside for the third time tonight hmm).
.......
To whom would you be speaking about a neighbour? I can honestly say - I've lived in my house since 1984 - and have never had a conversation with neighbours about other neighbours, neither have any of them tried to start such a conversation with me. Exceptions being innocuous things such as when someone's husband died suddenly, was ill or had problems with builders. Certainly nothing about their personal business or habits. That sort of gossip is appalling.

I would be seriously pissed off living next door to you and your DH. It stinks! Its not just a couple of spliffs it is an illegal substance. Not only are you being unreasonable you are being antisocial. Tell him to smoke it in your living room so the neighbours don't have to put up with the pungent smell.

Posters have mentioned that weed now is much stronger than it was 20/30 years ago. I've partaken of marijuana on and off for 3 decades and still not come across this super strong stuff. (May have just forgotten though!) Where do you guys live?

The pearl clutching is everyone calling him a 'waster' and antisocial and illegal and disgusting. Meanwhile people don't mind drinking until they're paralytic and vomiting everywhere

I don't drink either...

I would view your family in the same way as a family with a junkie shooting up smack in the garden.

@Bluerussian I'd be talking to friends because I'd be concerned enough about that kind of behaviour at a family home that I'd talk about it with people I'm friends with (who don't live in the same village as it happens).

That being said though, I think it someone is happy for all of his neighbours to know that he smokes illegal drugs every night outside the family home they can hardly be uppity if people talk about it.

@AsleepAllDay

Tbh, you laughing at logic seems to be a common theme on this thread.

You saying you're laughing at something, doesn't hold the killer blow you seem to think it does. Especially when that seems to be the only weapon in your arsenal.

As you will see, I was merely countering the app's assertion that smoking cannabis was the way to consume it in it's most natural state. I was saying that it probably isn't. HTH .

I think I’m lucky to have more open minded neighbours than some of the posters on here.

But one of your 'open-minded' neighbours has already commented on the 'shite' your DH smokes. So I would assume he's not that keen.

And I really take offence at 'open-minded'. It's so pejorative. Just because people disagree with you over an illegal substance doesn't make them 'close-minded'. Many have really valid reasons for the objections.

Interesting thread.

I know someone who does exactly this, a few every night, but takes a walk around the block and onto a deserted green to do it. He was a child who sold drugs for dealers, not just weed either and was first given it at 8 years old, he has smoked it ever since. He had two hugely traumatic abuse events happen to him before he was 13 and this caused him to use weed more. He used to smoke it continually each night until he passed out.

Now he is settled with children and has cut down to 1-3 a night when he goes for a walk. He has never been out of work since he was 16 and earns a very good wage so it doesn’t effect him negatively.

I wouldn’t judge someone for doing similar it’s not the using of it I would object to, but since your neighbor has made it clear that he can smell it in similar circumstances I would object him to doing it in close proximity to others who clearly don’t appreciate it.

The pearl clutching is everyone calling him a 'waster' and antisocial and illegal and disgusting. Meanwhile people don't mind drinking until they're paralytic and vomiting everywhere

I don't drink either...

Nor do I. And when I did, I certainly didn't get paralytic. But even so, alcohol is a horrible drug too, especially for my family, and I now don't partake at all.

And I really take offence at 'open-minded'. It's so pejorative. Just because people disagree with you over an illegal substance doesn't make them 'close-minded'. Many have really valid reasons for the objections.

Yep! People assuming they know better because they smoke weed are making a huge assumption that those who dislike it must be sheltered little snowflakes, when actually the opposite is often true and we know too much.

There’s some very uptight people on this thread 🤣 I wouldn’t judge you, I don’t think it’s that dissimilar from having a drink at the end of the day. It will probably be legalised within our lifetime, like it is already in many countries.

Well since you asked, yes I thought less of my teacher neighbour after I noticed the Saturday spliffs. I probably would have felt the same about cigarettes.

Certainly nothing about their personal business or habits. That sort of gossip is appalling

I don't agree that illegal drug use in sight and smell of neighbours is a 'personal habit'.

So you someone's DH taking illegal drugs in full sight of neighbours every night is fine, but the neighbours talking about it is appalling.

@wineislifex

Nice username. Another bright spark braying away like a hyena. Ah well.

I wouldnt judge occasional smoking of weed (quite a few of my friends do, for example 3 or 4 weekends a year) but tbh every night is not really occasional.
I would hate it if my neighbours smoked it every day as I find the smell really off-putting. Some people have started smoking weed quite near the entrance to our workplace and it stinks!!

I imagine you're right - after all, how could the pharmaceutical industry make money out of it if people just use it in its natural state?

Thank you for supporting the stereotype of weed-smokers as paranoid clueless wasters in this thread today!

Ye gods, I don't know where to start. When you take medication, do you just set fire to a loose amount of something with an active ingredient in, inhale the fumes, and hope for the best? Do you set fire to willow barking chippings and inhale the fumes, or do you take aspirin?

If all you want to do is get high, (and you don't care about effects on your lungs), smoking is fine.

If cannabis is an effective treatment for actual debilitating conditions, like epilepsy, it needs to be in a format in which it is easy to calculate and deliver dosage. It also needs to be in a format that has a consistent percentage of the active ingredients. Plants are not consistent, because they are not factories for us. They are living organisms, which react to their environment and follow their own biological directives. So depending on the soil, the season and so on, analysis would show variation in chemical proportions.

It is generally considered necessary that patients get enough of a medication for it to be effective and not so much that they overdose. Or are you going to suggest we just roll "small spliffs" for tiny children suffering from seizures and "large spliffs" for large adult men?

The pearl clutching is everyone calling him a 'waster' and antisocial and illegal and disgusting. Meanwhile people don't mind drinking until they're paralytic and vomiting everywhere

Erm, no.

If her DH was outside doing that every night I would be even more concerned.

Again, drinking until vomiting is something that I wouldn't have judged in someone's 20s or on occasion. But if someone was a supposed 'responsible family man' and doing it every day then of course that's a totally different proposition.

I'm rather concerned that people can't see the difference between behaviour acceptable in your 20s with no responsibilities and behaviour acceptable every day at the family home when you have DC.

Careful @JamieVardysHavingAParty. Speak too much sense and you'll set the geniuses on here laughing. I know. Cuts you deep eh ?

You are right of course. And no, some posters on here are doing the average weed smoker no favours with their posts.

That aside, it's been quite an interesting thread though and some interesting points made re legalisation.

@BeatriceTheBeast haha and insulting people’s usernames is now how you progress your point?
Dare say I’m a lot more of a bright spark than you beast but that is irrelevant to this thread..

@Taraohara no, the elderly man who grows weed in our village does do because his wife has MS and it's the only thing that alleviates her symptoms. He sells a little to a few people in the village to help them make ends meet (he's on a state pension).

He's hardly Pablo Escobar.

Well you hide it well then @wineislifex.