Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

Yes I'd defo judge and think a LOT less of the family to be honest. I'm not old either I'm in my 30s. Shocking

Oh for goodness sake people its just weed, it's not like he is shooting up in the garden! Life is too short. I don't smoke but wouldn't judge a neighbour who decides to smoke in the privacy of their own garden!

@beatricethebeast - sorry I think you did not pick up on the facetiousness in my post hence my using the word "apparently" fine. The point of my post was that I don't think alcohol is fine at all for all the reasons you state, yet it is far more socially acceptable. My mums an alcoholic - what I wouldn't give for her to have a few joints at the bottom of the garden in the evening rather than sink a bottle of wine!

Yes it is pearl clutching! Alcohol and tobacco are far worse and more socially acceptable for young adults and everyone alike

The question was 'would you judge us' and everyone answered accordingly. I don't think anyone should be smoking weed around children, but if OP's partner wants to smoke some spliffs in his back garden he can do what he likes until someone calls the police or the council. And of course if it's getting into neighbours' windows and disturbing them then he should be told

The pearl clutching is everyone calling him a 'waster' and antisocial and illegal and disgusting. Meanwhile people don't mind drinking until they're paralytic and vomiting everywhere

Cannabis is legal for medical use and will soon be legal for recreational use.
It will soon be a legal intoxicant just like alcohol is a legal intoxicant.
The cannabis users on this thread are not attacking the non cannabis users.

@AsleepAllDay You’re right. Everyone who thinks that drugs are bad are paralytic and vomiting everywhere. Of course. Silly us.

My middle age neighbour(s) do smoke weed in the garden, and yes I judge them. Mainly because it's so bloody potent, they clearly don't care if others smell it. The couple are in their fifties with teenage children (it's definitely at least the mother who smokes it, I saw her) so I also judge the example they're setting.

@ShayAndBlueSeeker And everyone who smokes weed is a bad parent, a thug, rough and the talk of the town?

Have some perspective. It's a double standard and one can point that out as easily as everyone can chime in and call the OP a criminal

@AsleepAllDay
There’s a big difference to how one obtains fags and booze and how one buys illegal drugs .
I’d be happy for my kids to work in a supermarket or bar . I would be happy for them to be involved in selling or distributing illegal drugs. That’s the difference. And most on here that condone it wouldn’t be ok for their kids to be involved in the chain of drug supply .

I would say all the hand wringing about 'awareness of the drug trade' is quite comical from people who are all using smartphones and wearing clothes that predominantly originate in sweat shops
Middle class navel gazing at its finest..

Well I only ever buy second hand phones (every 5 years or so) and second hand clothes (when needed). But then you couldn't possibly be expected to know how ethically I live my life.

On the other hand, we can be reasonably sure that weed is contributing to a highly unethical "industry".

Yes

Yes, I'd look down on him. That actually doesn't make any material difference to his Iife though, does it? Do people expect to be universally liked and respected? Surely not?

Unless you are growing your own cannabis, yes I would be disapproving.
Not only are you complicit in organised crime but you will have to engage directly with someone who is profiting from crime ad likely sells other more dangerous drugs as well- is that the sort of person you should be associating with? Can you not envisage the possible harm to you and your family?

*I would say all the hand wringing about 'awareness of the drug trade' is quite comical from people who are all using smartphones and wearing clothes that predominantly originate in sweat shops
Middle class navel gazing at its finest..

Utter bollocks . Doing something which Is a crime in this county and has resulted in the murder of hundreds of children in London and major cities is entirely different to owning a phone or buying primark

Of course, but that just strengthens the argument towards legalisation or at least decriminalisation. If I had any choice I would rather buy some edibles from a dispensary that were regulated, measured and tax paid. The War on Drugs was a complete failure and this would cut down on the ruthless human trafficking and slave labour. The US and Canada are a good lesson for us all, rather than having an active black market

I've not read all the replies to this but I have an issue with my neighbours smoking weed in their back garden. I don't care if people think I'm being "pearl clutching".
It STINKS. And because of the configuration of our properties the smoke goes straight into my bedroom and our spare room. If we leave our windows ajar in the summer then the smell gets into our whole flat. I can sometimes smell it from the living room. I hate it and think it's really inconsiderate.

This thread has renewed my confidence in MNet Users as fundamentally sensible people.

I wouldn't look down on him but I would say with all forms of smoking it would be ideal and far less antisocial if nobody else had to smell it. I don't think cigarette smelling is any better personally. Could he go further into the garden, and ensure he avoids proximity to any windows?

I definitely wouldn't judge, but I'd be a bit annoyed about the smell if it wafted into my garden. I'm originally from a state in the US where it's legal for recreational use now, though, and I was fully in support of that decision. I know several people back home who smoke or use edibles, (weirdly none of them drink alcohol or use tobacco), and they are educated, successful at their jobs, good parents, etc.
I get the point about the criminal element, which is why I'm all for legalising it, so it's controlled.

Most of the posts on this thread are outlining the argument for decriminalisation, the case is being made very well, almost all of the objections relate to the fact that cannabis is illegal,
once it is moved into the legal sphere most of the problems associated with its use are gone

@AsleepAllDay I didn’t say that. Others might have done. I don’t think a good parents takes any drugs or gets drunk in charge or their children (or regularly). As the people who have posted on here who had parents who abused drugs and alcohol seem to agree.

Skunk stinks. Clue's in the name. I hate the smell.

There's not much attractive living next door to an ageing stoner, especially if they're skinning up every hour from 8 - 11.30pm each night.

However, there is something you haven't considered. Depending upon the age of your DC, they're far more likely to be the kids who bring a spliff into school for their mates in Year 7/8, simply because they know where it is, how to roll a spliff and, quite frankly, because it's normal and accessible to them. And they won't be aware of just how much the smell carries and lingers, so they're likely to be caught.

When you're a twenty/early thirty-something, it's all well and good and vaping is a reasonably considerate decision so it doesn't stink out the house next door and five doors down, but once there are kids in the house, it's a lot different.

The solution is don't smoke, vape, choose the less pungent varieties of cannabis and do not subject other people to the smell, be discreet!
Obviously don't be intoxicated at times when you need to have a clear head such as when in charge of children or machinery etc, that's just basic common sense.

Most of the posts on this thread are outlining the argument for decriminalisation

But this guy isn't in his garden furiously writing to his MP about decriminalising cannabis, is he? Has anyone said they would have a problem with that?

The crime associated with cannabis is a valid argument against disliking it. I don't contribute to that in any way, shape or form. It could also be stopped fairly quickly to be honest, but that's a whole other subject.
The gateway drug argument is more flawed. You could say it about paracetamol. When it stopped working for my back pain, I was prescribed naproxen, then after that it was tramadol - an opiate, the same group as heroin! A prescribed drug that is far more addictive and life destroying imo.
What is everyone who hates it going to do when it is widely accepted as a treatment/cure for many medical conditions? Still hate it and refuse to use it?