Would you look down on/think less of an otherwise respectable neighbour for smoking weed in his garden?

[MoonBaby1]

Sorry if this has been done To death. I know that mumsnet hasn’t famously been that accepting of any smoking but I wanted to see what other parents felt.

We are a respectable (I hope!) family with good relations with all our neighbours. No loud music, parties or bins left out etc.

My dh enjoys a few spliffs a night in our garden and it’s never raised any problems. Earlier today a very lovely neighbour we know and trust made a lighthearted joke about me burning a few cardboard bits left from Christmas (our garden does not border anyone else’s) when I said I hope the smoke is ok he said ‘better than the shite your fella smokes after dark! ‘. Is it still socially unacceptable to smoke weed or is he a bit older and out of touch?

I’m now way overthinking this and I’m worried that people think we’re not a nice family because they can smell weed smoke. I know I shouldn’t worry what people think but it’s got under my skin! I’ve even name changed here despite being anonymous because I’m usually the nice SEN mum posting about special needs and diet.

Most of the stuff he smokes is homegrown by a friend.

cantdoleft I agree with your post completely. I think legalisation is needed.

As for being the talk of the neighbourhood . We’re in all honesty a very boring family who only make noise outside when the children are playing all summer. There’s nothing to talk about. Everyone is very friendly round here.

Consuming a tiny amount of homemade edibles to manage pain does not make me a drug user . It’s hardly trainspotting is it?!

I suspect those who think it’s ok or find it hilarious don’t live next to a habitual weed smoker. The OP herself has it at a few spliffs a night not occasionally (which is different). Unlike cigarette smoke it really does spread - DDs allergies as well have been much better recently and it’s because ndn son (the smoker) hasn’t been there
OP may think it doesn’t smell but her ndn has clearly told her it does. Myself and many others who live by it have confirmed how bad it is as well.
Now it’s up to the OP to decide. She herself takes edibles. That and cbd should be the legal versions because of the impact of second hand smoke

It’s not socially acceptable. It stinks and I would judge you both. I had neighbours who smoked weed in their garden and my house stank of it as a consequence. Why should my house stink of cannabis because of someone else’s dodgy behaviour? Also as my DC’s bedroom overlooked the garden I wasn’t too happy about them laying in bed breathing the second hand fumes in. If you think the stink is acceptable keep it in the confines of your own house.
I second all the comments about county lines and the exploitation of children. Modern slavery is also strongly connected to cannabis factories. As ‘respectable’ couple how can you both happy about supporting any of that?

This is one of those threads. 80% of people have said yAbu. It's illegal, anti social, impacts others with the smell and the op keeps posting it's fine the stuff her dh smokes doesn't smell much. They're very respectable etc.
Then why bother posting op. Listen to what most people are saying. And yes your neighbours could well be talking about you. How would you know. And I hope the police find and raid your husbands drug dealer alleged friend.

You are the rough skanks on the road. We have a family like that about 4 houses down from me. They are known as the rough family.

I would judge, I’d think your crap parents and trash.

I’m late 20s too so it’s not about age.

I would think less of them. Even more so if he is having these few joints a night when in charge of children. Does he still have these if you are out of the house?

It stinks. It's not pleasant for neighbours.

70 out of 332 people think what you’re doing is fine.

The 50/50 comment makes me think you brain is already addled. The comments are absolutely not 50/50, let alone the voting. We had next door but one neighbours who did this. Yes I judged them, yes it stank. Your husband must constantly stink.

Much more important though are the children who are dragged into the drug trade at a very young age. Did you see 24 hours in police custody last night? They mentioned 11 year old selling drugs as part of the county lines way of dealing these days. Your family are supporting this.

It's a plant that effects receptors in our brains that we naturally have, I thought it was wildly known that the war on drugs was a racist law put in to discriminate against people who came from countries where it was a part of their lifestyles, it hasn't even been illegal for 100 years yet in the UK, 1928 I think and growing plants was only made illegal in 1964.

So no I wouldn't judge if I smelt smoke anywhere tbh, I don't believe children should have any but 18+ do as you like, if it was made legal like some parts of America then it wouldn't be bought through gangs or criminals it could be grown by small companies paying a fair wage to their workers.

Also if it was legal then people who are self medicating their MH issues with it or who struggle with addiction issues could go get help easier and not feel so ashamed, so many people here are leaning hard into shaming smokers so i'm not shocked that people don't get the help they need until it's too late right now.

You probably just can’t smell it anymore OP. It stinks. If I were your neighbours I’d be hoping you moved out soon!

Also you’re blatantly convinced what you’re doing is okay so why ask mumsnet?

Just carry on with it and tell your kids that you’re a respectable, responsible family and everyone else is out of touch and judgmental 🤷🏻‍♀️

It really does have a strong, pervasive smell, OP. You are probably desensitised to it.

My daughter takes CBD for pain management - she's only 15 so who knows, may have to progress to smoking at some point (hopefully not).

I'm not judging at all if people need it as pain relief but - I would judge your family as not living their best life if it was a constant, evident, every night thing because I'd think 'why? - what's broken?

And at the least - isn't your DH very dull to live with? He can't function properly if smoking a lot every night and it's a solo activity In your description. Why does he do it?

How convenient your supplier is a friend . And I’m sure you’ll day doesn’t supply to anyone other than naice middle class mummies in exchange for some home made scones .

Why don’t grow it yourself op if your requirements are so minimal. I suspect either

1. You don’t want carry thar risk
2. Your story about your friend being your supplier is bollocks and you buy drugs the same way as the rest of the middle class illegal drug users - ie with no qualms about the exploitation of vulnerable children so you can have a spliff in the comfort of your garden

My DP smokes and I hated thinking that the smoke/smell would bother the neighbours so I made him start smoking in the shed. Do you have a shed you can send him to so the smoke isn't drifting over to the neighbours.

If you take illegal drugs of any kind then you are a drug user.

I am very anti drugs. Some people think 'its only a bit of weed' but when you have seen the affects that that bit of weed has done to a close family members MH then you may think twice.

Doesn't matter if you are a high profile occasional use cocaine user, a normal working family having the odd spliff or the down and out junkie on the council estate I think that you are all scum.

No I wouldn't to be honest if I could only smell it for a bit at night in the garden. I don't like it but to be honest it's better than loud music, parties and nastiness.

If they were an otherwise pleasant couple I would let it slide. I would also think it might be medicinal.

I think the neighbour may have been having a joke rather than a dig depending how he said it.

I never thought I would judge someone who chose to smoke weed. Always thought its was none of my business what others do.

Then we moved to a very nice area, think expensive large houses. Neighbour is a specialist health visitor and part of her work involves child protection cases with parents who do drugs and the impact on their dc. She smokes weed regularly in her garden and I judge her. I don't know why but I didn't expect someone in her position to take illegal drugs. I can't seem to help judging her, and I see her differently. She has late teen/young adult dc and 2 of them also smoke weed in the garden. One of them seems to have taken a bit of a wrong path in life and now seems to have moved on to other drugs. Police have been there for various reasons with him.

Makes me wonder if her normalising it has lead to his behaviour. Also makes me wonder how she can be professional in work knowing she's going home to take illegal drugs herself.

If it's so harmless smoke it inside the house... oh yes, you don't want to as it'll harm the kids and ruin the house.

I would think less of anyone smoking that "shite" these days. It smells revolting and I've seen several people suffer mentally from it. It's not the fragrant giggle-inducing stuff of my youth anymore. It's like the difference between Lambrini and meths.

@Boppingbooper she's a hypocrite then isn't she.

I'd prefer a neighbour who smokes weed than a neighbour who drinks tbh. It's alcohol that should be illegal and County lines wouldn't be such a big issue if it was legal.
I don't smoke it but I occasionally make butter and cook with it. I have family members with autoimmune diseases who definitely benefit from edibles and oil. Used correctly it has mega health benefits, that's undeniable.
Alcohol on the other hand causes 100% more deaths than cannabis and is way more antisocial. But that's fine because it's legal.

Don’tpet have you ever had a neighbour who smokes? It’s awful and really does have an impact
Oil and edibles should be far more legalised yes because the pain effect is huge but in a world where any type of smoking is seen as antisocial it certainly shouldn’t.
OP my friends all know about my neighbor a mixture of me complaining and frankly visiting and noticing DD best friend remarked outside our houses smelt like Amsterdam (her dad worked there for awhile)

Sorry, I'd judge 🙈

Fine if you are making cookies with it as I can't smell it but it's the stink of smoking it in the garden that is the problem.