DH cross I have questioned bank statement

[bank100]

Name changed for this.

DH and I have a joint current account that we both use for pretty much everything. DH is generally the one to keep an eye on our account and look out for any error transactions.

Today I had a good look through the Dec transactions as I noticed the balance was lower that usual. We are expecting a baby next month and was hoping the balance would look a bit healthier. I made a list of things I hadn't realised we were spending on. Including £100 he'd spent at various pubs (after work drinks), £100 cash withdrawn for imo no reason, £50+ at a sports venue, £70 on another hobby & numerous starbucks etc.

His reaction to me questioning these things was to grab my list, shout that he earns most of the money so he's allowed to spend on whatever he wants. He then tried to find things I had spent on... literally couldn't, I don't spend much on myself. There was one cheap beauty appointment. So was IBU for questioning this, or is he being U for being so cross? I feel weird about it.

“I don't know about army accommodation, but before council tax, we had to pay The Rates.”

Get what you mean but I was (badly) trying to explain that army in barracks what they pay as a contribution to local services wasn’t called “council tax” even though that’s what everyone else paid then it was called something else, which I still can’t bloody remember what they called it (which is really annoying me now)

“Oh, and to add to Graphista's list, you need to check the monthly statement every month. You should know what's being spent.” Definitely agree

My DH couldn't work for a while and we relied on my income only. If he had criticised me for a few drinks after work and a morning coffee I would have been furious.

I am a SAHM, the money that comes in to our house is all family money. DH and I both have our own spending account that a small amount of money goes in to each week, that money we can do what we like with, anything else is either bills or jointly decided on.

nakedavengeragain would you have been furious if he’d asked why you’d spent all that month’s savings just before another baby was due?

@StoppinBy
That’s lovely & all but if you and your DH were to ever split, you would be so very, very vulnerable.

Stoppinby - does any child benefit or tax credits or other benefits you receive go into the joint account?

If so I would urge you based on my own cautionary tale to change that ASAP and ensure that money goes into your personal account.

Not just in the event of a split but if your dh were to become incapacitated or die some banks put an automatic freeze on joint accounts until it's legally established who is next of kin especially with a sudden death if the deceased dies intestate.