To send flowers to a stranger?

[Pelicanpinkpants]

Ok, so not a stranger per se, but my neighbour whom I have never really spoken to apart from the odd greeting hello.

She is going through a very difficult time at the moment (we are fb friends), and ever since, she just looks awfully sad whenever I see her.

I want to send her flowers to 'brighten up her day' and a card to say if she ever needs anything, just ask.

Is this a weird thing to do? AIBU to do this?

I'd think I was the talk of the neighborhood tbh. But I am quite paranoid.

a plant is prob easier - flowers need arranging. If she's fed up, it might just seem like another chore. Plants last longer too. But I think you should deliver by hand.

I can easily believe people not speaking to their neighbours. Lord knows I’ve done the same.

But I find it difficult to get my head round having someone on your FB friends list that you barely give the time of day, despite living in close proximity. And then to think of sending them flowers. 😕

I don't understand why you are FB friends with a neighbour you barely speak to?

I think this is lovely, thoughtful and so kind.

Depends on what the tough time is as well... a bereavement, health issues, unemployment?

Do you interact on FB?
I can understand not speaking to neighbours often - I rarely see mine, we just have completely different schedules - but how did you become FB friends if you've never really spoken in real life?

If you don't speak on FB either then I think I'd find it intrusive even though I can see you meant it as a nice thing... I'd probably not send the flowers but just tell her to ask if she needs anything/wants to meet for a chat and a cuppa. Or comment/message something like that on FB if she's sharing her struggles.

What a lovely kind thing to do.

I think it would be lovely and if I was down, it would cheer me up no end!

Those saying - how are you FB friends? I've had acquaintances friend request me on FB it's quite normal for some people.

Sometimes things like this would make me uncomfortable but I actually think this would be lovely in this instance..

It's not really Op's fault but this is everything wrong with modern society; friends on social media but you live next door to each other and don't speak in real life!

Those saying - how are you FB friends? I've had acquaintances friend request me on FB it's quite normal for some people

I sort of understand that but I don’t think it’s normal to send those acquaintances flowers because you’ve read about their hard times.

I rarely speak to my neighbour, only hello, how are you etc, in passing, which is not often as they leave for work early and I come back later.. but I am FB friends with them because we have had conversations before so I don't think it's that's strange.

Sounds like a lovely idea & a kind thing to do, but I agree, leaving a pot plant and a note on the doorstep might be better than a delivery.

If someone knocked on my door with wine & expected to come in and drink it with me, I wouldn't be happy, I don't like people turning up out of the blue. I get in from work, eat, have a shower and slum in in my PJs so someone knocking on my door unannounced is the last thing I need

Am I alone in finding it odd that you've hardly spoken to your neighbour but she's friend on Facebook? Must be my vast age.

tilly this is how the young folk are these days. Sociable, vivacious, passionate online personas. In real life; don't interact, avoid eye contact and head down looking at phone. Striking up a conversation with a stranger (in actual life) is an absolute no go.

Never unreasonable to do something kind and from the heart.

Absolutely but do sign the card from you just in case she gets worried she’s being stalked or something.

OP do you know how hard it is for some people to ask a stranger for help?
It doesn't cut it

I'd take them myself as it's more personal. I once took a lovely bunch of flowers to my new next door neighbour, who I didn't know very well, as she was so nice when my baby was ill, as she'd been through the same thing.

She's not my next door neighbour, she lives a few doors down. She's the sort that adds anyone and everyone who glances in her direction to facebook, so I don't think it's that strange.

She also posts every detail of her life on fb, so it's not at all strange that I know she's having a hard time lately.

Just having read your update I would personally not send flowers. It sounds like your neighbour may have MH issues to me.

Possibly an unpopular opinion but my take on this is that although there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying hello and being nice, I think you need to be wary of offering to be of assistance as she may very well take you up on that offer and you may regret having done so. I know people who add everyone & their granny to FB and then proceed to air their entire lives on SM. Those kinds of people often [not always] have a tendency to love the drama and can be very draining. I wouldn't feed into whatever is going on there. Not your circus and all that jazz...

I think that's a lovely thing to do, although I'm with others who are suggesting that you actually go over to her place with a bunch of flowers and a friendly ear (if she wants it).
I know, when I was going through a hellishly bad time in 2016, I would really have appreciated somebody doing that for me. I would have meant such a lot.

I think some comments on here are mean. I think it’s a nice thing to do.

I agree with antisupermum I find it baffling that someone would add every acquaintance they can to their fb and air all their life grievances so publicly. What is the thinking behind this? Is it attention seeking or therapeutic or what?

*Disclaimer: I'm old and don't really 'get' Facebook.