AIBU to think it's weird that my GP lied to me?

[CameraTime]

I've been going to the same GP for years, and saw her fairly regularly for several years for a chronic condition. In her office, she has photos of herself and her 2 sons; in the past she has talked to me about her sons and I'm certain that when we've talked about holidays she has said things like "The four of us were in X" meaning herself, her husband and her sons, or "My husband is working this weekend, so I'm taking the two boys up to my mum's house" etc. All things which indicated that she has 2 sons and no other children.

Anyway, I had an appointment recently (having not seen her in ages), and in conversation I mentioned that my niece is choosing her secondary school at the moment. She asked which ones she's considering, and I mentioned the name and she said "Oh, my daughter went there, it's a good school". I was surprised because I'd never heard her mention a daughter, and because I know her sons went to a local posh private school and it seemed odd that her daughter would go to the local state school. Didn't say anything as it would have been strange, but it seemed weird so it had stayed in my head.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend who knows the GP (friend's mum lives next door to GP) and a one point she mentioned seeing GP over Christmas. That reminded me of the conversation so I asked her whether GP has a daughter. She said no, just 2 sons. Also definitely no step children, foster kids or anything like that.

It's just a bit... weird. I mean, I don't really care how many kids she has, but it's made me feel like I can't quite trust what she says. I know GPs probably don't want patients to know about their private lives, but surely they'd just not talk about it?

AIBU to think this is strange and to actually be a tiny bit upset that she appears to have lied to me?

@Boots20

LOL at your post from (13.38)

@CameraTime I agree with the majority here, why the GP said what she did is a mystery... you may have misheard, or she may have meant step-daughter, or God-daughter or grand-daughter. but whatever she said or meant, it is nothing to do with you!

As a pp said, you are saying 'she lied to me!' is suggesting you are 'owed' the truth. And asking others about her, makes you look like a nosey, intrusive stickybeak. So I would just drop it.

Oddly, I also know a female GP, who, when I mentioned my daughter getting bad hayfever, said 'mine does too, awful, has to dose up with antihistames.' A week later, I stumbled across her facebook (in error I promise!) We had a mutual friend who had her as a friend (and the GP had commented on something.)

I had a little nose at her facebook, and saw she had a pic of her, her husband, and 3 teenage boys. Her profile said 'busy working married mom of 3 teen boys.' No mention of a daughter.

I remember thinking for a fleeting moment, that I thought she had a daughter, but it never crossed my mind for a split SECOND to prod about and ask people what children she has, and if there was no daughter, 'why did she LIE TO ME?!!!'

One reason being... I don't really care. Two, it's got nothing to do with me. Three, I may have misunderstood/misheard her... She may have not said my son suffers from hayfever badly, but I don't think she said my DAUGHTER either. She just said 'mine suffer too, which could have meant son(s) OR daughter(s.)

To try and make something of it, and ask around about her would have been weird and stalkerish and frankly, a bit disturbing.

Sagradafamiliar you should thank your lucky stars then that you don’t work in an area where you come across people who would 1) get aggressive if you were perceived to be avoiding questions; and 2) could get fixated or obsessed with you to the extent that they would use any information given to try and find you outside of work

You know what, the more I think about it the weirder and ruder it is that you fact checked something (that has no relevance to you and isn't your business) with a third party. Kind of reinforcing the reasons people like a bit of privacy from patients... really inappropriate of you to do that especially as you're accusing her of odd behaviour'

I’m struggling to figure out how you fit in your niece choosing secondary schools into a GP appointment.

Maybe she purposefully changes the details of some aspects of her personal life because some of her patients are wildly over invested and have no respect for personal boundaries or privacy?

Or you misheard. Or she misspoke. Or your friend's mum's cousin's brother's neighbour's dog or whatever the chain of hearsay you tracked down doesn't actually know her family all that well? There are any number of explanations that make more sense than assuming she's deliberately lying.

i have an acquaintance that I know lived near another friend. I mentioned this to her on a night out and she told me that she lived in a completely different area. I was very confused but thought nothing of it. The next time I saw her she was very sorry that she had lied but her older lived at that address and she had used the address for a school place. They had been a member of staff with us from that school. So sometimes people have different motivations for telling a lie. As long as she is dealing with your medical needs just shrug it off.

Probably an older daughter and she has remarried and now had younger sons? Sounds weird you think she lied?

Also I’ve not told my new job that I am still working for my old employer too..... need to sort that one out! 😂

I can guarantee that no one finds you that interesting

Patients often do.
I’m not a GP so I don’t regularly see the same patients but one recent patient went out of their way to look me up and when they next came back asked me which halls I lived in at X university.
I talk about my children but I’m vague about the number I have and I tell a slight fib about the area I live in.

I lived three doors from my doctor. I did migrate to another doctor for a bit and when I saw her I didn’t speak about my medical issue but just about everyday life. She moved from the village as it had got too complicated for her and her kids and the gossipy nature of the village.

You sound very intense OP!

She's probably sick of stalkers like you, OP.

Agree with @Cohle it is easy to mis-hear.

I heard a woman I know (aged around 26-27,) say her dad had died (some months back,) when she was chatting to a woman at the checkout in Morrisons. I was 3 or 4 people back, and felt awful for her, as he was only 49!

I saw her on the car park ten minutes later, and said 'oh Amy, I heard you at the checkout, I am so sorry to hear about your dad.' She said 'my dad? Why, what? What's happened to my dad?' with a shocked and confused look. I told her I had heard her telling the lady on the checkout that he dad had died.

She said 'my DOG! My DOG died, not my dad.' I was mortified and said 'oh my GOD I am sorry...'

She laughed and said 'it's OK, no worries! I can see how you would have misheard from a few feet behind me.'

I said 'well I am sorry about your dog anyway!' ' She said her dog was 17 and had died in her sleep after being poorly for several months, so they were all OK about it, as she had had a great life, and we are glad she is at peace...'

But yeah, that was fricking embarrassing!

So yep it's easy to mis-hear.

Eeeeeek, that was one or two too many smilies there, sorry folks!

Older daughter
Daughter of an ex partner
God daughter
Friends daughter
Surely the NDN doesn't know EVERYTHING about this woman. My NDN knows nothing about me (unless it's you and you probably know everything)

I learned very early in my career not to tell patients anything after I innocently told someone what type and colour of car I drove and he followed me home. He was a mechanic and the car talk seemed innocent enough at the time.
If someone asked me a direct question like that now, I would probably lie and give them a totally random make and model to throw them off the scent. I would feel rude saying "mind your own business" (but that's what I would be thinking).

Did she use the past tense?

Maybe her daughter is from a previous relationship, possibly much older living away from home, seriously ill in a care home ... or

My mother has a very old and dear friend who's a therapist who doesn't even use her real name in some areas!

Serin, yes, totally see the wisdom of that. I have a regular climbing partner who's an A&E consultant who just lies away. He's gay and has a dog, but if asked presents as a family man, mostly so people leave him alone!

Dyrne I do and I don't thank my lucky stars for the work I'm in. I don't appreciate being told I should, strange thing to say to someone. You don't know the kind of people I work with. I remain professional though and never talk about my private life and would be an idiot to. Doesn't mean I make up a fake life and if I was a compulsive liar like that, I wouldn't brag about it on the internet. Lying is deviant behaviour.

I'd just assume there was some explanation I hadn't thought of.

From experience, probably actually said goddaughter.

I actually did know details of my GPs' family because I went to school with his sons...

I’m a hospital consultant and i am very vague about my personal life if patients pry. Even seemingly innocuous questions are intrusive to me and I resent them. I’m there to be their doctor, not their friend. I have deliberately given wrong information at times and for a while even wore a ring on my wedding finger when I had a particularly troublesome time with the male relative of a patient.

There is something that I didn't plan to lie about. Rather, I thought, if anybody asks for clarity on that, I will lie. My rationale being it's not a detail I really wanted to share but if you put me on the spot then either I'm evasive, or, it's now ''out there'' or I just tell a quick lie to bring it quickly to a close.

For all those saying they invent family members or tweak ages etc, I totally get that..... in response to a direct question.

I work at a university and students are often curious about lecturers' private lives. They tend to be pretty well-balanced people though, so I have no problems with sharing when it arises naturally. I can totally see if you were a child protection SW or similar you could meet some really dodgy characters.

But the point here is, this is the GP volunteering information without being asked and also claiming to have the same chronic condition as the OP. If this is wrong, that is seriously fucking weird. I would change GP if I thought my dr was making up having some personal/ painful/ undignified condition in some weird attempt to "bond".

I don't a bond with my doctor. I want accurate medical advice. Making up BS when you haven't been asked is just bloody odd and a waste of the patient's time.

Maybe she purposefully changes the details of some aspects of her personal life because some of her patients are wildly over invested and have no respect for personal boundaries or privacy?

^I agree