AIBU to think it's weird that my GP lied to me?

[CameraTime]

I've been going to the same GP for years, and saw her fairly regularly for several years for a chronic condition. In her office, she has photos of herself and her 2 sons; in the past she has talked to me about her sons and I'm certain that when we've talked about holidays she has said things like "The four of us were in X" meaning herself, her husband and her sons, or "My husband is working this weekend, so I'm taking the two boys up to my mum's house" etc. All things which indicated that she has 2 sons and no other children.

Anyway, I had an appointment recently (having not seen her in ages), and in conversation I mentioned that my niece is choosing her secondary school at the moment. She asked which ones she's considering, and I mentioned the name and she said "Oh, my daughter went there, it's a good school". I was surprised because I'd never heard her mention a daughter, and because I know her sons went to a local posh private school and it seemed odd that her daughter would go to the local state school. Didn't say anything as it would have been strange, but it seemed weird so it had stayed in my head.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend who knows the GP (friend's mum lives next door to GP) and a one point she mentioned seeing GP over Christmas. That reminded me of the conversation so I asked her whether GP has a daughter. She said no, just 2 sons. Also definitely no step children, foster kids or anything like that.

It's just a bit... weird. I mean, I don't really care how many kids she has, but it's made me feel like I can't quite trust what she says. I know GPs probably don't want patients to know about their private lives, but surely they'd just not talk about it?

AIBU to think this is strange and to actually be a tiny bit upset that she appears to have lied to me?

I can only quote BoomBoom's articulate and helpful post from upthread:

'The GP offers personal details at appointments that the OP hasn’t asked for but, as a polite, sociable person, she does listen to. When an anomaly popped up it was a puzzle to be solved - just a curiosity, not an investment. It is quite normal for people to be curious about things that don’t add up.'

How old do you reckon your GP is?

As PPs have said, is it possible she has a grown-up daughter, possibly from a previous relationship, hence somewhat out of the picture, so to speak?

Could be an older daughter, my friend has a daughter of 28, a son of 12 and a son of 10. I didn't know about her daughter for ages and ages after we started making small talk in the playground, it was probably a year or more, only when we properly became friends. Maybe your friend doesn't know her that well?

Has no one else spotted the genius that is @Boots20’s reply yet?

@PenCreed

I laughed out loud at it and then forgot to mention. @boots20 I would like to buy the film rights and also marry you

I’ve been going to the same GP for years too, I wouldn’t even know if he were married let alone his life story

My GP once shared some details with me about his children's hobby. I discovered they were accurate when my child started the same activity.

I now bump into him at various functions and if I ever need a medical appointment I specifically request not to see him as it would be too odd.

I think it's fine for GPs to chat and share information if they want to. I also think it's obviously fine if they don't want to share details of their personal life with their patients. However I don't think they should make stuff up. I would find it patronising, and a bit bizarre if a medical professional made up stories about their families to put me at ease.

I would have said she automatically made a family member up to put you at ease , without considering that you know about her family.

However, you've started a bit of a drip feed about her making other stuff up - if your original AIBU was ' AIBU to worry that my GP lies to me a lot ' then, no YANBU. That would make me uneasy.

20 years between my sister and I and I moved abroad when my sister was at school and rarely came back. The neighbours would have had no idea I existed.

I find it odd that you have immediately assumed she'd made it up when there are definite explanations for the confusion with the neighbour..

@DarlingNikita I'm with @Dyrne. I know people who make up entirely fake lives when they're chatting with the hairdresser - what does it matter? It's small talk, greases the wheels of life interactions etc etc.

I'm amazed your GP has time for small talk

I'd have thought grown up daughter as well. As in "went" there.

The odd thing is that you'd rather ask a close friend of hers rather than her directly when she mentioned the dd.

Likely she probably was making generic conversation based on some else's daughter's experience of the school, forgetting that you have had conversations about her sons (understandable as she'll see many patients and especially as you haven't seen her in ages).

She doesn't owe you an explanation of her private life! She's making conversation to be polite. She is your GP not friend.

From what you have said about all the personal stuff she has told you I'd be looking for a new GP. When I go to the GP for my ten minute slot it's to talk about me and not listen to the GP talk about her personal life.

I know people who make up entirely fake lives when they're chatting with the hairdresser - what does it matter? It's small talk, greases the wheels of life interactions etc etc.

Small talk isn't the same as telling people completely made-up things though

I work in Children's Services and am extremely vague about my personal life. Most of my families know I'm married (wear wedding rings) but I lie about the area I live in and also might refer to things which might be useful to a family but give a different context so it's not identifiable. Most professionals in a similar field - medical/Social Work etc do similar in my experience.

I get odd looks when I mention my Grandson. He is my stepdaughter’s son. Most of our neighbors have no idea that I am dh’s second wife or that he had an almost grown up family when we met. Perhaps it’s something like this.

I can't believe the amount of people admitting to telling needless lies. Unless you're really famous or a victim of stalking, I can guarantee that no one finds you that interesting. It seems that some people take online safety advice (tweaking an age or sex) and then apply it to their actual lives. Don't want to talk about your personal life? Then don't. Don't just start making people indulge your fabrications! Not at all normal.

Mind your owwn business. You seem to be rather over invested in the life of this woman.

@Sagradafamiliar EVERYONE tells lies. Everyone. Many of them needless too.

Yep, even YOU.

I sure do. Like white lies so as not to offend people. I don't make up a whole alternate reality and chat merrily away about it like it exists....do YOU?

No, I don't make up alternate realities as if they exist!

(That may be a lie.)

Bit different since it's a gp you see a lot, but in my last (customer facing) job I definitely told customers a lot of bullshit. I was on autopilot and they wanted a brief conversation. "Have you been to X place" "ah yes its lovely isn't it, we went a few weeks ago" - never even heard of X but it's an easy answer that lets the customer feel engaged with.