To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

I've done cleaning in the past because the hours suites me with child to look after and homelife. But I definitely felt at the bottom of the pile especially to others who worked in the building I was cleaning.

They might feel guilty? you are awesome, mum, working and student! Their expression might be more directed at their own (real or imagined) failings than at you.

If people judge you by this maybe they are not worth being around. I am not working and on disability, feel the same at times.

But then I remember I don't have to explain or justify my choices. Say you're a student if it makes you feel better. I am beyond caring anymore

You are not but some silly judgmental people look down on people doing what they consider menial work or McJobs but you are doing a good and honourable job, supporting yourself and your family and being responsible

The only reason to be ashamed of your work is if you are scamming or exploiting people or doing them harm

You’re certainly not scum to me! You are doing a vital, honest job for a wage. We’re all cogs in the big machine.

You are most certainly not scum though I’m pretty sure the people who look down on you are.

I cleaned the lecture theatres at my university while I was a student, some of the other students thought this was hilarious . That was a useful way of working out which of the other students I didn't need fo bother talking to anymore.

FWIW, I pay someone to clean for me, and she's great. She took over the cleaning, makes her own decisions about what needs doing and gets on with it. She's professional about her job and I respect that. It took me a while to find her, but I wouldn't part with her willingly.

Cleaning is a job - if you do your job well, you shouldn't be ashamed of it, though I know some people can be very snobby. Cleaning is active, it keeps you fit,. it gets you out to meet different people. What you are doing is no less skilled than someone who types stuff into a computer all day - and they're sedentary to boot. If it really bothers you, say 'I'm a student.' That is your main role as you plan to use your qualification to make different choices in your life. The cleaning is how you fund yourself through college. Don't be ashamed.

You are supporting your family. Anyone who has a problem with that is horrendous.

"you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?"

This is one of the things in British society that really boils my piss.

It doesn't necessarily make them uncomfortable; they want to make YOU uncomfortable, because it then makes them feel better.

Those types need other people to do "worse" than them, in order to appreciate what they have.

Ghastly approach to life, please ignore them.

We went on safari for our honeymoon, shared a truck with another couple for the entire week. I am nosey, kept asking what they did which they evaded. They were really into the animals tooo. Anyway, on the last night I got drunk and demanded to know what they did for a living. They exchanged a look and the guy took a deep breath and said “I’m afraid we are vivisectionists. We own a company that breeds animals for testing and we run those tests.” The woman started weeping silently and then we all went to bed.

Now THEY were ashamed of what they did. Don’t think you need to worry OP!

I worked as a teaching assistant for a while. I was a qualified teacher but MH problems/working conditions ended my teaching career.

Telling people I was a TA was a fantastic arsehole detector. The best bit was that the really big arseholes would find an excuse to stop talking to me within 30 seconds, so I didn't even have to find a way to stop talking to them.

I thought you were going to say you were a pimp. Don’t worry, nothing to be ashamed of in what you do.

It's what they consider menial work and they probably just feel a bit embarrassed for asking rather than looking down on you for it.

It's work that always needs doing. nothing to feel ashamed of at all. There are much more lucrative and shameful ways to make a living (arms dealing etc)

I’m a cleaner.

Should I feel ashamed of myself?

Jeeze, I thought you were going to say you were a loan shark or a thief or something.

Honest work is honest work.

I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve

Do you approve of their jobs? Do you think they care if you do?

Lets start by saying you are not scum. Its their problem if they judge you and they need to see the real world and not the very small one they live in! Some people like to feel superior over others. I was raised on a council estate and my Mum worked many a cleaning job to put food on the table. She still lives in the council place I grew up in. Let them look down their noses at you. Never judge a book by its cover.

Thought you were going to say you worked for Dominic Cummings or somesuch. Absolutely no shame in performing good honest work.

I've been a cleaner several times. It's one of the more satisfying and interesting jobs I've done.

No way am I ashamed of it.

You are doing honest work, and ANY honest work is honourable. Hold your head up and be proud you are doing well.

We are all part of a community and all jobs, bin (wo)men and brain surgeons are all needed.

Yes I agree with others. I work in a supermarket and get the same thing. I’m also I student so would say both but found I can judge people better by their reaction when I say I “just” work in a shop.

You are doing an honest days work for an honest days pay IMO .Some people are so snobby its unreal really ,do they feel good if they are working for some kind of Corporate Business ? Do you really want to be friends with these sorts of shallow people though?!

I don’t think that they think you’re scum. Quite frankly that would be ridiculous. I must admit that I wouldn’t take that job unless I had to, many people wouldn’t (a lot of us are lazy and hate cleaning!). It is possible that they think you’re in financial trouble and are uncomfortable for that reason, it’s an awkward topic and they might feel like they’ve put their foot in it by asking you. It’s quite a rude question to ask anyway unles the other person brings up their work first. I really doubt they look down on you for cleaning, more likely just that they realise that they’ve been rude.

I thought you were going to say something much worse OP.

A job doesn’t define who you are as a person.

It's not nice, but there is a social hierarchy when it comes to work. My new neighbour is a doctor. I have no idea what sort because I do t actually care. He seems like a nice guy and there we go, however, there are some other neighbours whispering "Oh I heard he's a surgeon!" etc. The people who like - or not - you for what you do to bring in money (assuming it's legal and not harming anybody!) are helping you sift the nice from not doing nice, saving you the hassle.

I was once at a dinner next to a private wealth manager. He asked what I did for a living. I said Nothing (I wasn't working at the time). He literally turned his back on me and talked to someone else. My dinner was better as a result! 😂